August 2005

Where Art Thou, Sandy Duncan.

Working the later shift at work (9 a.m. to 6 p.m.), I am blessed with being the last member of the group to take a lunch hour. Usually, it’s not too rough, I end up going to lunch at or about 1:00, but because one of our team members is on vacation, this gets pushed off until everyone is back in the office. Wednesday I left for lunch at 2:30, which almost begged the question of “Why bother?”, but I’m not one to give up an opportunity to eat.

To keep my energy intact and my blood sugar levels reasonable during these late lunch days, I usually eat my lunch at my desk while I’m working. This works pretty well. But last night I was up around 4:00 a.m. for work, so I dashed out this morning after sleeping to until the last possible moment, still dog tired. This has thrown my whole schedule off and quite frankly I’m a little bit of a mess today.

While driving home from lunch at 2:00, after eating around 12:30, I felt the unmistakable grumble of my stomach. “Feed me now!”, it churned. This wasn’t a “I’m bored, let’s eat something to break up the monotony” kind of grumble, but an actual hunger pain. When I arrived home, I remembered that there’s not much in the way of groceries in the house. Hopefully Earl will rectify that this weekend (while I do laundry, dusting and vacuuming). But I did find a box of Triskets tucked away in the cupboard.

Is it me or do Triskets taste like rumpled cardboard?

Not that I’ve ever tasted rumpled cardboard, mind you. If I’m not mistaken, Triskets are suppose to have something on top of them, like a smidge of cream cheese and an olive or something. With nothing on them, they’re just plain dry. And they stick in my throat.

But when you’re hungry, what can you do?

There are two crackers that I really enjoy. The first is not really that good for you. I think they’re called “Chikin in a Biskit” or some other perverted spelling of “Chicken In A Biscuit”. Totally fake in the way the taste is derived, I can easily become hooked on these and jump into a chemically induced nirvana while eating them.

My second favorite cracker is “Wheat Thins”.

Now you remember Wheat Thins. Light, airy, wheat crackers with just a small hint of sweetness. Sandy Duncan earned some dough in the 80s telling the world about the virtues of Wheat Thins, before she replaced Valerie Harper in “The Hogan Family”. She’d smile, crunch and just look as cute as a button on television as she convinced us to become hooked on these crackers.

I really could use some Wheat Thins right now. Maybe they’d take the taste of this shredded cardboard out of my mouth.

19 August 2005 by J.P. Food. 0

Comfy.

Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like there’s a lot going on but the day is dragging out forever? That’s how I’m feeling today.

Work is going well. It’s not crazy busy, but there’s enough to keep the day moving. But I feel like I’ve been at work for an entire day and here it is just halfway through my lunch hour. Oh well. I think this feeling is an extension of yesterday in that I am totally ready for the weekend, regardless of the fact that I’m on call and we don’t have any major plans or anything.

Oh well. It could be worse. I could have too much to do without enough time to do it. Maybe I should just get comfortable at this slower pace. I’ve complained in the past that life is passing by too quickly, maybe this is the universe telling me that it’s really not that bad.

Comfy.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

18 August 2005 by J.P. Ponderings and Musings 0

Ready For The Weekend.

Here it is Wednesday afternoon and all I can do is dream about the weekend. It’s not that I don’t enjoy my job or anything like that; its just that lately all I can do is think about the fun filled frivolity the weekend promises. To make things more confusing, I’m on call this weekend, so it’s not like I’m going to go out and be a wild man or anything like that. I’m just ready for it to be “Saturday”.

I think it has to do with sleep patterns. I’ve mentioned before that I’m wired for Central Time. When Earl and I were in Indianapolis last week, I went to bed at 11 and arose around 7, like I’m doing this week, but I just felt so much better. And that’s after sleeping in a hotel bed that was bouncier than a trampoline. Earl and I are big boys and when we toss around in our sleep, especially in a bouncy bed, we both bob around like we’re in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. (Tom plays the part of Leonardo DiCaprio, clawed in to the side of the bed hanging on for dear life).

I think I would enjoy my weekdays more if I was retired and could stay up until I was actually tired and then got up when I was actually rested. But I end up going to bed at 11:00, earlier than my body wants to and then dragging myself out of bed at 7:30 to be to work by 9 (at least this week). When I’m not on call, I have to be to work earlier, then its just awful. As it is I barely speak English before noon.

So we’re more than half way to a weekend devoid of plans, but I’m looking forward to it anyways. Next weekend we’re camping and I’m already looking forward to that as well.

Sometimes I feel like I’m wishing my life away.

17 August 2005 by J.P. Fun and Games Dept 0

iSavages

What a bunch of fscking savages. Somewhere near Richmond, Va. a local school was selling their old Apple iBooks for $50 a piece. The premise was simple, beginning at 7 a.m. today, you arrived, gave the school your $50 and they gave you a four-year old iBook.

It turned into a fiasco. People running, stampeding, biting, knocking others over; one man was even clocking people over the head with a folding chair. I’d hate to see what they’d act like if there was a shortage of food, water or fuel!

Click here for the story and photos.

16 August 2005 by J.P. Why. 1

I Need Potato Chips.

I’ve been eating peanut butter and jelly for lunch for the past couple of work days. I know that it’s rare for a man of my age to enjoy peanut butter and jelly, but I really do, especially between two slices of unhealthy white bread.

But it just feels wrong to not have some potato chips to enjoy along with my sandwich. Nothing fancy. I’m a huge fan of Doritos and would never turn them down, but a nice, normal potato chip would be welcomed alongside my sandwich.

I guess I feel all that and a bag of chips today.

16 August 2005 by J.P. Ponderings and Musings 0

Reality Still Bites.

Earl and I watched the latest episode of “Airline” tonight courtesy of our TiVo. While I’m sure the show is designed to entertain, after all, that’s what television is suppose to do for the most part, I found the whole program depressing.

First of all, we have this See You Next Tuesday named Darlene who is dropping more f-bombs than a shipload of Marines because she was pulled off a flight for being too drunk. She is an embarassment to the human race and quite frankly we’d be better off without her. She said she was from Boston. If anyone from Boston acted like that they’d be slapped silly by some pretentious New Englander so I don’t know what the heck she was talking about. She made my head hurt.

Second up we have Mr. Clueless and his girlfriend, Miss NotAClue who are pissed because the 4:40 flight left at 4:40 and they missed it because they got there at 4:43. If the flight leaves at 4:40, it’s going to leave at 4:40, you bunch of nimrods. So don’t go having some ridiculous hissy fit because you didn’t answer the cluephone, didn’t respond to your pages and you’re mad because your big fat ass isn’t on the airplane you just missed. O.k., now I’m getting into a tirade here.

And last but not least, we have the dental student missionaries who go to Mexico to help the children down there with bad teeth. Truth be known, they’re FIRST YEAR dental students who are PRACTICING on these poor helpless children that they’ve grabbed out of this poor village. And they’re also Christian Missionaries (one student said, “the pain is temporary, but the feeling of Christ is permanent” as they yanked the molar out of a seven year old that was screaming in fear), which really twists my knob to high. I’m reminded of when Earl and I visited Tumacacori south of Tuscon where they showed evidence of the missionaries way back when telling the locals (Indians?) they were going to hell for not believing as they did. “Forget everything you believe, you lost people. Forget the Earth! Forget the Moon! Forget the Sun! It’s our way or fire and brimstone for you all, you savages!!” Such loving people, those missionaries. Always quick to embrace the differences in us all.

To be honest, I have found “Airline” to be quite annoying this year; ever since they changed the theme from a spunky version of “Leaving On A Jet Plane” to some alternative/head banging thing about being 37,000 feet up in the air. Like all media, they’re going out of their way to find the most annoying, pathetic, stupid people to showcase on their show. What happened to the passenger that threw the grandmother out of the wheelchair last year? Or the kid that had an allergic fit because someone left three milligrams of peanut dust on the 737 he was boarding. He swelled up bigger that Mr. Peanut. Now that was good television. I don’t want to watch some hayna fresh from the Hayna Hut acting like a waste of a good human soul make an asshat of themselves on television.

Click! Good-bye Airline, you’ve been dismissed.

15 August 2005 by J.P. Why. 1

Distant Ringy Dingy.

I’ve adopted a new stance on driving while using your cell phone. In the past, I’ve always scolded people for yakking on their cell phone while they’re driving, mainly because they become major asshats while doing it. But I’ve found something worse.

A person scrambling for his/her headset to connect to said cell phone to talk while they’re driving.

I now say that if you’re going to talk on your cell phone while you’re driving, go ahead and do it. I’m still going to terrorize you on the road, but at least you’re being practical about it and just holding the phone up to your ear instead of trying to look like Madonna with a ridiculous headset wrapped around your noggin.

The “handsfree cell phone law” in New York State is pure, unadulterated bunk that does nothing to make the gabby driver safer. I believe the law states that you can’t have a cell phone up to your ear while driving. Apparently you can be typing in a text message on the tiny keypad, take a photo of the cop chasing you with your cameraphone or talk on your speakerphone, the one that you still have to push buttons to dial on.

I think talking on a cell phone while driving is dumb. Yes I do it myself, but I don’t have any friends so it’s not like I’m constantly yakking on the phone. And no, I’m not bitter. However, I think it’s less safe to be talking on your cell phone while simultaneously keeping an eye out for Mr. Trooper so you don’t get caught. So I’ve adopted the “pay to play” philosophy.

Politicians can’t stay out of our bedrooms. Apparently they can’t stay away from our ears either.

15 August 2005 by J.P. Ponderings and Musings 0

Friends of Distinction.

It was on July 1 that I mentioned that I had a song stuck in my head. Well, as they say, patience is a virtue because I heard the song on the radio over the weekend and it allowed me to get more of the lyrics. Whereas I thought the song went “Raise A Little Glass”, it was actually “Grazin’ in the grass, it’s a gas, baby can you dig it.”

Shakespeare, it’s not.

“Grazin’ In The Grass” by The Friends of Distinction, it is.

Thank the universe that I am now able to download this song on iTunes.

###

Earl and I spent the weekend in beautiful Buffalo hanging out with some bear friends. We went out for some fabulous barbecue with our friends Steve and Tim and I wish I could remember the name of the restaurant we went to!* The food was awesome and the company was great. Afterwards we went to Buddies for bear night. It’s always good to be with like-minded guys. It was “sports night” and while a bunch of guys were wearing football jerseys, baseball uniforms and the like (and looking very hot), I went in my cycling outfit minus the helmet. I won a prize for “best costume”. Yay!

Today we went to a pool party with a bunch of friends before taking the Thruway for the trek home. We didn’t let the misty weather and cool temperatures cloud the festivities and we spent the afternoon eating, swimming, hanging out in a hot tub and doin’ some grab ass-ing.

It’ll be an extra little perk going to work tomorrow with a smile on my face. Gosh I love the weekend.

*08/15 @ 10:41 p.m., Earl just yelled out “It was Fat Bob’s!” Now I remember the name of the restaurant! Go to Fat Bob’s in Buffalo – fabulous food.

14 August 2005 by J.P. Why. 0

We’re Back.

Never fear, jpnearl.com is back online again. I logged on from our hotel suite here in Buffalo and to my horror, discovered that our domain name registration had expired! A few frantic keystrokes of credit card numbers and voila, it’s back, and renewed until 2015. The world is suppose to end in 2012, so now we’ll be able to give up to the minute coverage of armageddon.

13 August 2005 by J.P. Geek 0

There’s Nothing Spooky About Erie.

Earl and I jumped on the freeway this morning and made the trek across Indiana and Ohio, arriving in Erie, Pa. this evening around 7:00 p.m. We’ve installed ourselves at the Holiday Inn Express on Peach Street near I-90. It’s a nice little hotel with internet access. Unfortunately they don’t have any Ethernet cables available for sign-out, and I seem to be missing my ethernet cable from my backpack, so I’m typing this blog entry in TextEdit and will upload it later.

It’s August 12 – I have to say “Happy Birthday, Mike”. I can’t remember if your birthday is the 12th or 14th, so I’ll just play it safe and say happy birthday tonight.

We had a great dinner at “Quaker Steak and Lube” which sounds kinkier than it really is. Mother Nature treated us to an awesome thunderstorm toward the tail end of our supper. After we finished up we drove through downtown Erie and along the lakefront, looking for signs of a gay bar. Not that we were going to go in or anything, well, maybe for one drink. Unfortunately the last time I was out and about in Erie was 1990 and gay bars barely stay put for one year, let alone 15. So no booty shaking tonight.

So now we’re catching a little television before calling it a night. Tomorrow we’re taking the short drive to Buffalo, doing some shopping and then meeting up with some friends for the night.

12 August 2005 by J.P. Fun and Games Dept 0

Where Art Thou, Sandy Duncan.

Comfy.

Ready For The Weekend.

iSavages

I Need Potato Chips.

Reality Still Bites.

Distant Ringy Dingy.

Friends of Distinction.

We’re Back.

There’s Nothing Spooky About Erie.

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