Today Earl and I had my Mom, sister and her friend Debbie over for a little party. My sister is traveling to Moscow on the 30th to join her boyfriend, the professional hockey player, while he plays for a Russian hockey team through next spring.
In a way I’m very excited for my sister. She’s getting to see a part of the world that few Americans do. From the pictures I’ve seen on the internet, Moscow is gorgeous. Beautiful. I haven’t done a whole lot of research on the city, but Earl and I have tossed around the idea of visiting next winter. I have to admit I’m a little nervous about the prospect, but at the same time I’m very excited as well. I can be self-conscious in unfamiliar surroundings. I can be a little shy. Sometimes it takes a little coaxing to get me started, but then I enjoy myself once I’m out of my shell. It’s a left over worry I guess, from obsessing of what people thought about me when I was a teenager. You’d think I’d have grown out of it by now.
As we were sitting around chatting and munching on some great food, I came to realize how much things have changed since Earl and I first started seeing each other 9 1/2 years ago. I’ve never hidden my feelings for Earl, but at one time I separated the various aspects of my life. My family never heard me DJ in a bar because I DJ’d in a gay bar. My gay friends didn’t meet my family. I never talked about going to gay campgrounds or playing volleyball with my gay friends or going to Boston for Pride. Earl and I now talk openly about many aspects of our lives. We talk about going to the gay campgrounds, we talk about swimming naked at bear pool parties, we talk about the “Earl Overlap” (I dated two Earl’s at the same time before settling down with this one – and yes, I was honest with both.)
Life is so much easier when its honest and real. That’s one of the things I admire about the writings of my blog friend Terry. He doesn’t change pronouns, he doesn’t tame language; he says it like it is whether mundane or outrageous. I find that an admirable trait.
I believe in speaking the truth. It’s not a bad thing.