Earl and I watched the latest episode of “Airline” tonight courtesy of our TiVo. While I’m sure the show is designed to entertain, after all, that’s what television is suppose to do for the most part, I found the whole program depressing.
First of all, we have this See You Next Tuesday named Darlene who is dropping more f-bombs than a shipload of Marines because she was pulled off a flight for being too drunk. She is an embarassment to the human race and quite frankly we’d be better off without her. She said she was from Boston. If anyone from Boston acted like that they’d be slapped silly by some pretentious New Englander so I don’t know what the heck she was talking about. She made my head hurt.
Second up we have Mr. Clueless and his girlfriend, Miss NotAClue who are pissed because the 4:40 flight left at 4:40 and they missed it because they got there at 4:43. If the flight leaves at 4:40, it’s going to leave at 4:40, you bunch of nimrods. So don’t go having some ridiculous hissy fit because you didn’t answer the cluephone, didn’t respond to your pages and you’re mad because your big fat ass isn’t on the airplane you just missed. O.k., now I’m getting into a tirade here.
And last but not least, we have the dental student missionaries who go to Mexico to help the children down there with bad teeth. Truth be known, they’re FIRST YEAR dental students who are PRACTICING on these poor helpless children that they’ve grabbed out of this poor village. And they’re also Christian Missionaries (one student said, “the pain is temporary, but the feeling of Christ is permanent” as they yanked the molar out of a seven year old that was screaming in fear), which really twists my knob to high. I’m reminded of when Earl and I visited Tumacacori south of Tuscon where they showed evidence of the missionaries way back when telling the locals (Indians?) they were going to hell for not believing as they did. “Forget everything you believe, you lost people. Forget the Earth! Forget the Moon! Forget the Sun! It’s our way or fire and brimstone for you all, you savages!!” Such loving people, those missionaries. Always quick to embrace the differences in us all.
To be honest, I have found “Airline” to be quite annoying this year; ever since they changed the theme from a spunky version of “Leaving On A Jet Plane” to some alternative/head banging thing about being 37,000 feet up in the air. Like all media, they’re going out of their way to find the most annoying, pathetic, stupid people to showcase on their show. What happened to the passenger that threw the grandmother out of the wheelchair last year? Or the kid that had an allergic fit because someone left three milligrams of peanut dust on the 737 he was boarding. He swelled up bigger that Mr. Peanut. Now that was good television. I don’t want to watch some hayna fresh from the Hayna Hut acting like a waste of a good human soul make an asshat of themselves on television.
Click! Good-bye Airline, you’ve been dismissed.