Everybody’s Free to Not Irritate Me.

A couple of weeks ago one of the blogs I read, OPIEblue, mentioned that song from a couple of years ago that talks about always wearing sunscreen. I think the title is “Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen”. Ever since reading that blog entry and thinking about the song and what not, I’ve had little Nuggets of Wisdom bouncing around in my head that I thought I’d take the time to share. I fully support these beliefs and feel that they lead to a healthier lifestyle.

Live A Little In The Express Lane. If you’re in the 20 items or less lane at the market, department store or convenience store, don’t show a lack of courtesy to those behind you by counting out $33.16 in pennies to pay for your purchase. Either fork out the green stuff or swipe your ATM card through the slot. Live on the edge and risk the ID theft by using your credit card. Those behind you will thank you.

Burn Your Checks. In this day and age, writing a check at aforementioned establishments only convinces those behind you that you don’t really have the money for your purchase and are trying to play the obsolete “float” game. Writing a check indicates that you have no grasp on today’s financial methods and that you really need to get a clue.

Use The Lane. While making a left turn on a multi-lane highways, it’s more acceptable to use the left lane for this purpose rather than inconsideratly dashing across the roadway at the last possible moment. Just because you have a ridiculously huge vehicle does not necessarily mean you have the biggest balls. Actually, it’s usually indicative of quite the opposite.

Drive. Keeping within the vehicular motif, when you’re behind the wheel of the car, please take a moment and actually drive the vehicle. Pay attention to the task of actually maintaining highway safety for yourself and those around you. There’s no need to put on makeup, shave, make a bagel, watch television, read a book, curl your hair, IM your best friend, smack the kids around or masturbate while you’re moving at 65 MPH on the freeway.

Believe. No matter what your spiritual beliefs are, please enjoy your relationship with your chosen deity and revel in it. But don’t beat others over the head expecting them to follow your path to enlightenment. Many worship a God, some worship money, but few worship a “Bible Beater”.

Start off Clean. When you go to bed Sunday night, ready for the work week that lies ahead, go to bed with the washer and dryer empty and the clothes put away. You’ll thank yourself for it the next morning and you’ll have something to wear after staggering around in the early Monday morning.

Smile. Let them see you smile. Smile on the inside. Smile on the outside. Laugh out loud. You’ll feel much better and you’ll be known as the person that can light up a room.

Show Respect. Treat others with respect, no matter who they are or what they’ve done. Every human being deserves respect, even if they’ve just pissed you off beyond belief. Degrading another is a feeble attempt at reconciling a flaw within yourself.

And always remember to wear sunscreen.

Trying To Play By The Rules.

I’m trying to be a good little soldier at work and play by the system administrator’s rules. This is unusual for me because after all, I know it all, but nevertheless I figured I should set a good example by using all the correct tools provided on our computers for our job. Unfortunately, this means I must use Windows XP, Internet Explorer and Microsoft Outlook.

I’ve installed the “MSN Toolbar” so that I can have tabs in Internet Explorer. Since I’ve done this, it’s hosed my “Internet Options” screen so that every time I try to make a change, the program freezes and I have to “force quit” it. (Sorry for the Apple lingo there).

In Outlook, when I delete a message, it stays there until I “Purge Deleted Items”. Sounds like a supermodel fantasy, but it’s an unnecessary extra step.

Also in Outlook, whenever our database program tries to send an e-mail out automatically, I have to answer “Yes” to a “Another program is accessing your e-mail!” dialog box twice, wait 10 seconds and then do it again. I must say that’s a glowing example of productivity.

Then we have Updates automatically downloading, virus programs installing new virus definition files and all other sorts of bits and bytes horseshit.

Can you tell I’m getting a little frustrated here?

Nevertheless, I’ll get through it. Can’t guarantee that the monitor will make it in one piece though.

I’m going to give my PowerBook a hug when I get home tonight.