Where Art Thou, Sandy Duncan.

Working the later shift at work (9 a.m. to 6 p.m.), I am blessed with being the last member of the group to take a lunch hour. Usually, it’s not too rough, I end up going to lunch at or about 1:00, but because one of our team members is on vacation, this gets pushed off until everyone is back in the office. Wednesday I left for lunch at 2:30, which almost begged the question of “Why bother?”, but I’m not one to give up an opportunity to eat.

To keep my energy intact and my blood sugar levels reasonable during these late lunch days, I usually eat my lunch at my desk while I’m working. This works pretty well. But last night I was up around 4:00 a.m. for work, so I dashed out this morning after sleeping to until the last possible moment, still dog tired. This has thrown my whole schedule off and quite frankly I’m a little bit of a mess today.

While driving home from lunch at 2:00, after eating around 12:30, I felt the unmistakable grumble of my stomach. “Feed me now!”, it churned. This wasn’t a “I’m bored, let’s eat something to break up the monotony” kind of grumble, but an actual hunger pain. When I arrived home, I remembered that there’s not much in the way of groceries in the house. Hopefully Earl will rectify that this weekend (while I do laundry, dusting and vacuuming). But I did find a box of Triskets tucked away in the cupboard.

Is it me or do Triskets taste like rumpled cardboard?

Not that I’ve ever tasted rumpled cardboard, mind you. If I’m not mistaken, Triskets are suppose to have something on top of them, like a smidge of cream cheese and an olive or something. With nothing on them, they’re just plain dry. And they stick in my throat.

But when you’re hungry, what can you do?

There are two crackers that I really enjoy. The first is not really that good for you. I think they’re called “Chikin in a Biskit” or some other perverted spelling of “Chicken In A Biscuit”. Totally fake in the way the taste is derived, I can easily become hooked on these and jump into a chemically induced nirvana while eating them.

My second favorite cracker is “Wheat Thins”.

Now you remember Wheat Thins. Light, airy, wheat crackers with just a small hint of sweetness. Sandy Duncan earned some dough in the 80s telling the world about the virtues of Wheat Thins, before she replaced Valerie Harper in “The Hogan Family”. She’d smile, crunch and just look as cute as a button on television as she convinced us to become hooked on these crackers.

I really could use some Wheat Thins right now. Maybe they’d take the taste of this shredded cardboard out of my mouth.