Important Paperwork.

There’s nothing more important, actually more satisfying, then getting through the stack of paperwork on your desk and finding the bottom of the frivolity. Of course I’m referring to the stacks of rebate submission forms and lottery tickets stacked next to my computer.

I go crazy over rebates. I don’t know why. I find they’re more satisfying than coupons because you get something back several weeks after the purchase. Often you completely forget the arrival of your rebate check so it’s like a little bonus on a dreary day. So you had to buy an overpriced laser printer that was completely out of your budget. Big deal. You’re getting a free toner cartridge in the mail simply because you took the time to make a photocopy of your receipt, circle the item you are referencing, cut the UPC code out of the bottom of the box (complete with packing staple that was in your scissoring path), recorded the serial number of the actual printer, completed the form in impossibly legible, yet tiny letters across the thermally printed form that is no larger than 2 3/4-inches across and stuffed all that fun into a business sized envelope with made out to a business address that contains seven lines and a just a few words short of a novel.

After all the fun with the rebates, I came across the lottery tickets that haven’t been checked. Why, Earl and I could be millionaires right now and paying someone union wages to fill out our rebate forms! So off to the New York Lottery website we go, comparing and cross checking our lottery numbers with the numbers listed on the tickets. No luck though, we’re still your average bears.

Better increase our wealth with more rebates.