I’ve mentioned on several recent blog entries that I do a lot of thinking on my bike rides. I don’t know if it’s the fresh air, the physical exertion or just the freedom I feel while I’m peddling down a rural road in the warm sunshine, but I do some of my most creative thinking whilst on a bike ride. I often come up with blog entries that I never record. It’s time I do something about it.
One of the blog entries that I’ve formulated is this one, and it’s about love. Such a short little word with a big responsibility. Not to get all flower power but I believe that love is really what it’s all about and it’s not something that should be squandered away or ignored. Love should be celebrated. Love should be cherished. Love should be shared.
Growing up I felt a lot of love. I guess I was a happy kid because I felt loved and secure. My mother always told me that she loved me, my father never did. He didn’t need to. Grandma City told me she loved me, Grandma Country didn’t, she didn’t need to. Oh I knew that love was there, it’s just that it was an unspoken love. It didn’t diminish it in anyway and it’s not the way I play the game but that unspoken love wasn’t any less real, it was just conveyed differently.
There are so many different kinds of love. I’ve had three substantial relationships in my life. The first was a puppy love. We’ve all been there, you’re in love with being in love, and you’re going to love whether you really love or not. It makes sense when you’re 18. Looking back it makes you take pause but that’s o.k., it’s just part of our learning. It doesn’t make it any less real, but it’s just a little love.
I loved my second boyfriend as well, but it was more of a kinship type love. After a few beers I’ll declare that I love him to this day (though I don’t just bark it out randomly at people). We share a good friendship. Was it limitless? No. But was it good? Yes.
Now when I fell in love with Earl that’s when love knocked me off my feet. My love for Earl is honestly limitless. I still see fireworks when I see Earl, even all these years later. I love Earl in a way that I will never love another. My love for him is all encompassing. It has consumed every part of my soul and I know with all that I know that my love for him is never ending. I guess that’s easy for me to say as I don’t know what the future brings, but I’m certain that I will always love Earl. “‘Til death do us part.” Yep, it goes that deep. I’ve never felt that before.
Even with the undying love I have for Earl I do love other people. I’m not afraid to tell people that I love them if the emotion is true. This might make people take pause. Now I don’t go around telling everyone that I know that I love them, because that’s hardly the case. There are only a few that I could say that I love. It’s not the same kind of love I feel for Earl but it is love nonetheless. For example, I love our friend Steve in Buffalo and I have told him so. I love him like the brother I never had. We play games that only we get, like riding in the back seat of a car on a dark night telling each other cubby bear stories. It’s definitely a different kind of love. The closest comparison I can come to is a person that loves to paint but also loves to eat Chinese food. They don’t derive the same type of pleasure from painting that they derive from eating the Chinese food but they love both activities nonetheless. Both can coexist without compromising the other. The love of painting fulfills the painter in a myriad of ways and is all encompassing, the love of Chinese food goes beyond just satisfying them or fulfilling a need.
I wish I could write an analogy about how I feel about love. I’ve thought about saying, “I’d take a bullet for a person that I love” but then again, I think I’d take a bullet for just about anyone in danger, so that doesn’t really work. I guess I could say that it goes beyond caring. Perhaps it’s a special bond. Maybe we met in a previous life and here we are again. I just know it and I wish I could describe it.
I guess the point of my rambling is that love should be shared with those that we truly love, and those that we truly love should be cherished in their own special way. Save it, savor it, share it.