May 2005

I’ve added another blog to my ever growing list of daily reading. Shall we have a round of applause for the latest entry to the list, Ms. Rosie O’Donnell.

I was a huge Rosie O’Donnell fan back in the day. Long before her talk show, back when she was doing the stand-up circuit, “Gimme A Break” and other assorted projects. I [ahem] borrowed a few of her jokes for a stand up routine I did back in Jamestown, N.Y. I can still remember the day I discovered her talk show. It was the first or second week, and I was on vacation at a gay campground, back in my rowdy days. I was snoozing in the camper, watching the 7-inch television and there’s Rosie O’Donnell interviewing Diedre Hall. Forget the soap, Rosie wanted to show pictures of Diedre as ElectraWoman (from ElectraWoman and DynaGirl). Two things were confirmed for me at this moment: 1. Rosie has a wicked cool sense of pop culture. 2. Yeah, she’s one of us.

We even had the opportunity to sit in the studio audience of her show during the second season. I was even selected to sing with John Mc D and the Mc DLT’s during the pre-game show with the comic Joey. The experience was fun, but Rosie was a tad bit cranky between segments. A little bit of a wake-up call. Looking back, I guess she was under a great deal of pressure. I do have her autograph, on a thank you letter she sent to me because I sent her a whole box of radio station t-shirts, mix tapes I made and some other music that probably should have gone to a Wow FM listener. Oh well.

As time went on, we kind of lost interest in her show because it was just getting a bit ordinary and a little too political. The whole “we didn’t turn the set around for Barbra” period was kind off odd. We didn’t hang around for the Tom Selleck incident. Then she finally came out of the closet, in a very dignified, respectable manner, may I add and we forgave her and watched the last season of her show.

Then she kind of spazzed out a little bit again but now she’s doing her thing.

Anyways, her blog is kind of hard to read because she has a very unique writing style, but it’s interesting nonetheless. Have a peek.

I’m tossing around the idea of remixing and remaking the old chestnut “It’s A Miracle” by Barry Manilow. It seems like a respectable project to christen the music studio. I’ve always been a big fan of the track, and I don’t think Will Smith has turned it into a rap track. Thank [insert favorite deity here].

I’m actually chomping at the bit to get working on several music projects I have tossing around in my chaotic head, “It’s A Miracle” being just one of many. But no, I end up sitting here waiting for the last component to come in after being on back-order since the end of the March. It’s an important part, it allows the output of my mixing board to get into my Mac Mini. Kind of crucial.

Anyways, I’m working on getting the song intimately, listening to it over and over on my iPod. (How many men do you know that wants to get intimate with Barry Manilow?) I’ve downloaded every version available on iTunes, and they’re all different. Leave it to Barry to throw out all these different versions.

One of the things I enjoy about Barry Manilow is that he’s a real musician. He actually employs music techniques that I learned in my music theory classes back in college. There’s sensible key changes. There’s a real melody. The counterpoint and tone color. Real instruments. Real backup singers.

And there’s six different versions of this song and I suspect I haven’t snagged them all yet.

Back in 1993, Barry released a remix of “Copacabana”, which was respectively updated to an early 1990s song. He followed up that remix with a lesser-known remix of “Could It Be Magic”. I have a hunch that there’s a remix to “It’s A Miracle” floating around somewhere out there as well.

Another remake that’s really, really cool is “(Keep Feeling) Fascination” by a group called Baxendale. They took a really cool spin on the old Human League classic. I kind of wish the Human League would do something similar with their own song. Did you know the Human League is still alive and kicking? If you’re into iTunes, do a search for “All I Ever Wanted” from their latest album. GREAT TRACK.

Now if I could just get that last component for the studio so I can get my ideas down on the Mac Mini!

It was midnight and I was restless. Earl was sleeping peacefully in bed, ‘rattling’ away on cue with his sweet snores of slumber. The sounds of a rain storm was making its presence known on the roof. And I wasn’t in the mood to go to sleep.

What to do.

According to my parents, when I was a baby I didn’t sleep very well until they took me for a ride in their VW Beetle. A quick trip to the village and back and boom, I was asleep.

I guess an Acura RSX will work just as well.

I took a drive to downtown and back. I drove through the two “nightlife” areas and confirmed my suspicions. It’s damn disappointing trying to party on a Saturday night around here. There’s one gay bar, and when I drove by there were a bunch of surly lesbians in front of it. I don’t mean to offend, but I don’t really want to go to a bar full of surly lesbians. It’s ironic to think that when the local Air Force base was open, there were five gay bars here.

The two big(?) hotels had the unmistakeable signs of proms in session. A bunch of limos and young men and women dressed to the nines walking out front. For some odd reason I was reminded of trick or treating. Perhaps it was their choice of attire.

I then drove down Varick Street – the area touted to be full of nightlife, where that Mr or Miss Right is just waiting for you, parallel parked over a dixie cup of cheap draft beer at one of the handful of nightclubs along here. The city is investing a bunch of money into revitalizing the area. It’ll be a prettier arena for all the fistfights when they’re done, apparently.

So I headed back home, finally sleepy, ready to call it a night. I ponder if I’m sleepy because of the driving around or because of the lack of enthusiasm I found while I was out prowling. It’s not that I’m getting old, because we do enjoy going out from time to time. It’s just that at midnight on a Saturday night, Syracuse is too far away to drive on a whim. It takes some planning to coordinate an enjoyable night out, and we’re more of the spontaneous type.

Wake me up when it gets exciting again.

I finally took some pictures of the new car today. Here’s one with me striking a pose. 🙂

Him: “I hate it when you buy that Tom’s of Maine stuff. The toothpaste tastes terrible.”
Me: “I didn’t buy Tom’s of Maine toothpaste.”
Him: “I just used it upstairs, in the tube lying next to your sink.”
Me: “That’s shaving cream.”
* * *
Me: “I miss Lechmere. Do you remember shopping at Lechmere? Pure heaven. Now we’re stuck with Best Buy and Circuit City. Blech. And while I’m ranting, I miss Hills too.”
Him: “I know, I know.”
* * *
Me: “Is it true that Jon Bon Jovi didn’t do drugs.”
Him: “I’m pretty sure he was clean.”
Me: “Do you think Valerie Bertenelli did drugs with Eddie Van Halen?”
* * *
Me: “Is that guy real shrill?”
Him: “He’s more Kathy Najimy than Lily Tomlin.”
Me: “I guess he’s definitely not a Bea Arthur, then.”
* * *

I ate my lunch about 45 minutes ago and I’m hungry already. I’m wondering if this is a normal thing. I don’t recall having these issues when I was successfully losing weight a couple of years ago.

For lunch today I had a turkey sandwich – two pieces of turkey on wheat bread, with a slice of cheese and pickles. I complimented the feast with a pint of iced tea, a deli-style pickle and a handful of peeled baby carrots. It was all very delicious.

I’m now in the mood to eat an entire pound of potato salad.

I’m trying to get my body back “in whack” so that I’m not constantly hungry. Part of it stems from things being a slow at work right now, I suppose. I benchmark my workday with snacks. At 8:30, I get to eat a banana! At 10:00, I get to eat my all-natural rice-crisp bar! At 12:00 I get to eat my lunch!

I should probably find better mileposts to gauge my day.

I am currently resisting the urge to eat the entire bag off tortilla chips that are currently sitting on the kitchen counter, approximately one meter to the right of the stove. The bag is facing up, with the opening of the bag facing the stove. The chips are a “thick” style and a golden in color.

They are currently screaming my name. Not “J.P.”, mind you, but my given name of John. John John JOHN JOHN! I think the chips are using John to let me know that they are serious.

I think I’m going to cave in when I get back to work and drink a diet Pepsi. That’ll put a stop to the hunger rumbles I’m feeling.

I am a rabid fan of “Jump The Shark”. I occasionally amuse myself by reading through the American Idol entries. Here’s a particular entry that caught my fancy.

Wow. About halfway through this, the fourth, season you could literally feel all the air coming out of this show. There’s a UPI wire story in the papers today about how the ratings are dropping. Is anyone surprised? This show has become televised torture by tedium. The mildly talented contestants are about as exciting as warm milk; Randy can’t stop using the word “pitchy”; drugged-out Paula is as fatuous, inarticulate, and hideously dressed as ever; and Simon looks like he’d rather be having his teeth drilled. So would I. I’ve been to children’s funerals that were more entertaining than this show. What happened to the guest musicians? At least that was somewhat interesting. Now we’ve got the Sesame Street approach to programming: Songs from the ’60s, Songs from the ’70s; Songs from the ’80s; Songs from the ’90s… Who would have imagined that the show’s writers could count? What’s next? “Tonight, Live on American Idol, Songs with the Letter H in them!!!!”

I couldn’t have said it better myself! Someone out there thinks like I do. Scary! Now don’t miss the results show tonight!

I have this reoccurring problem. I have this tendency to mix up my words. It’s not like a tourette thing, where I’m screaming out “asshole asshole” in the middle of McDonalds or anything, though I occasionally would like to be able to do that and get away with it. No, I tend to mix up my words in that I say a word that sounds similar or is somehow related to the word I intend to say or speak. Or in many cases type.

For example, when I worked at the radio station, we would occasionally run across the street to pick up a soda at a store called Kinney’s. I remember saying “I’m going to Thruway’s to pick up a soda”. Now Kinney’s is nowhere near the Thruway. But because they both end in “Y”, my brain said, “Eh, close enough, say ‘Thruway'”.

I must have a lazy brain or something.

Actually, the Kinney’s-Thruway’s thing is an abnormality, because I usually say a different word that begins with the same letter as the intended word. “I’m going for boat, bite, bike, bike, I’m going for a bike ride.” That’s how I usually talk. And I’ve never really admitted this before but that’s one of the reasons I got out of radio, because I couldn’t speak a coherent sentence on the air without stuttering and stammering.

Once in a while, I’ll say a word that is somehow related to the intended word. For example, a week or so ago, I mentioned in my blog that my co-workers find it odd that I grocery shop at noon. What I actually intended to type was “midnight”. But I typed noon while thinking midnight and read it as midnight when I proofread my blog entry. So then anyone who happened to stumble across my entry that day thought we were all weird because they thought I was weird because I grocery shopped at noon. Lots of people grocery shop at noon. I really meant midnight.

I went to a neurological specialist back in ’00 who said that I may have a touch of dysphasia. Hah, I just typed ‘dipstick’ and had to correct it. I guess I do have a touch of dipstick.

Perhaps I allow my mind to wander so often and so much that its completely pre-occupied with whatever I’m scheming and doesn’t have time for the real world.

So if you run into me in the real world and strike up a conversation, don’t be surprised if I say “Hi Then!” instead of “Hi there!”.

Well I’ll be darned. Yesterday I wrote about the trouble I was having with Microsoft Office OneNote and wouldn’t you know that not one, but *two* people from Microsoft dropped me an e-mail to find out the specifics I was having with the software. So I responded and let them know what was going on. I haven’t received a reply yet, but I find this surprising on two accounts.

• There are Microsoft people out there offering help on their products, for free.
• Someone actually reads this stuff I write.

I have mentioned before that I’m very excited about the new “Bewitched” movie coming out on June 24. Here’s a couple of pictures from the movie.

I can’t help but notice that Shirley MacLaine makes a fabulous Endora and Carole Shelley is a convincing looking Aunt Clara.

This is going to be fun! Tinka-tinka-tee!