Fix Birds Up.

I have this reoccurring problem. I have this tendency to mix up my words. It’s not like a tourette thing, where I’m screaming out “asshole asshole” in the middle of McDonalds or anything, though I occasionally would like to be able to do that and get away with it. No, I tend to mix up my words in that I say a word that sounds similar or is somehow related to the word I intend to say or speak. Or in many cases type.

For example, when I worked at the radio station, we would occasionally run across the street to pick up a soda at a store called Kinney’s. I remember saying “I’m going to Thruway’s to pick up a soda”. Now Kinney’s is nowhere near the Thruway. But because they both end in “Y”, my brain said, “Eh, close enough, say ‘Thruway'”.

I must have a lazy brain or something.

Actually, the Kinney’s-Thruway’s thing is an abnormality, because I usually say a different word that begins with the same letter as the intended word. “I’m going for boat, bite, bike, bike, I’m going for a bike ride.” That’s how I usually talk. And I’ve never really admitted this before but that’s one of the reasons I got out of radio, because I couldn’t speak a coherent sentence on the air without stuttering and stammering.

Once in a while, I’ll say a word that is somehow related to the intended word. For example, a week or so ago, I mentioned in my blog that my co-workers find it odd that I grocery shop at noon. What I actually intended to type was “midnight”. But I typed noon while thinking midnight and read it as midnight when I proofread my blog entry. So then anyone who happened to stumble across my entry that day thought we were all weird because they thought I was weird because I grocery shopped at noon. Lots of people grocery shop at noon. I really meant midnight.

I went to a neurological specialist back in ’00 who said that I may have a touch of dysphasia. Hah, I just typed ‘dipstick’ and had to correct it. I guess I do have a touch of dipstick.

Perhaps I allow my mind to wander so often and so much that its completely pre-occupied with whatever I’m scheming and doesn’t have time for the real world.

So if you run into me in the real world and strike up a conversation, don’t be surprised if I say “Hi Then!” instead of “Hi there!”.

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