J.P.

Pride In Yourself.

Today is National Coming Out Day, the day in which closeted gay men and lesbians are urged to come out of the closet and announce to the world, “yes, I am gay.” The tradition is led by the Human Rights Campaign, which has designated this day to show others that there is a huge support mechanism for LGBT folks.

National Coming Out Day started in 1988, three years or so after I came out to myself and started peeking out around the closet doors. Who am I kidding. I had always known of my attraction to the same sex. It was late in 1985 that I actively began admitting it to myself. I’m not going to go into my whole coming out story this year. If you’re interested in the sordid details, feel free to read last year’s Coming Out Day entry.

I just know that someone, somewhere is doing a Google search on being gay today. Perhaps he lives in a country where he could be shot for his homosexuality. Perhaps she is being forced to marry a man because that’s how she was brought up, when she’d reallly like to marry her female teacher or pal from high school. You’re afraid. You’re afraid that you’ll be shunned by your friends, disowned by your family and burned at the stake at the next neighborhood barbecue. And I’m sorry you feel that way. The world is a scary place and there’s a lot of ignorance in the world. But know that you’re not alone. Know that while there is a lot of hate and negativity out there, also know that there is even more positive energy, love and acceptance, often in places that you wouldn’t expect to find it. We know that you didn’t *choose* to be gay, regardless of what others may say about that fact, and we know that you don’t have to live a certain lifestyle simply because you’re attracted to the same sex. Do what your heart tells you to do. Do what feels right to you. If you’re not ready to live your life “out loud” and admit to everyone and anyone that you are gay (I can just picture Billy Bob stopping Thelma the hairdresser on some rural street and saying “I like those queer boys!”) then just do one thing today, actually go ahead and do two things. Look at yourself in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Look at yourself long and hard, reach for your true inner feelings, without any masks, without any fear, without any worries of reprisal. Then say it out loud. “Yes, I am gay.” Then follow it up with “And that’s o.k.”. It’s a baby step. But you’ll feel better for being honest with yourself. Allow yourself that dignity today.

11 October 2005 by Gayish. 2

Nap.

Today is an early workday for me, meaning I had to get up at 5:30 a.m. Not a terribly difficult venture, unless you’re a definite “night person” (I am) and you worked on call the night before (I did).

I think I’m going to eat my lunch at my desk today. Then I’ll go home at lunchtime, get naked (I’ve slept in the nude since I was 11, much to the chagrin of my mother when I was a kid) and take a 1/2 hour nap. I don’t know which will be the biggest recharge, the nap or the naked, but nevertheless I’m looking forward to it.

11 October 2005 by Ponderings and Musings 1

If We Took A Holiday.

Today is Columbus Day here in the United States. Today is the day that we honor Christopher Columbus’s discovery of the Americas. At least, I think that’s what today is all about.

Truth be known, today is one of those weird holidays. Official businesses like the post office, banks, government offices, etc. are closed for the day. Schools are closed. However, many businesses are open and conducting business as usual. Which is sometimes difficult because of the “pick and choose” nature of this holiday. Banks are closed, but the stock market is open. The restaurant down the street from the office is closed, because the state office building is closed, but the rest of the businesses are open and there’s no place for the workers to eat. (Thank goodness for a homemade turkey sandwich!)

What’s kind of odd is that Columbus Day is actually October 12, but today is only October 10. So it’s actually another “relocated” holiday. I think that’s rude. How would you like to be George Washington and have your birthday relocated to February 18 (from February 22) because you were careless enough to not but up properly against a weekend. Same with Memorial Day. And how come Thanksgiving is always on a Thursday? Who came up with that rule? I heard a woman talking in the supermarket commenting that Halloween should be moved to May so that the kids don’t have to go out in the cold in their costumes. I’m sure the spirits would love that.

All I know is that I’m working today while bankers are fanning themselves with their money. Tomorrow we’ll have twice as much junk mail to throw away because our mailbox will be empty tonight. What am I going to do? I’m kiss the ground out front, thank Christopher Columbus for his discovery and then move along.

10 October 2005 by Ponderings and Musings 2

Google Powers, Activate!

I heard a piece on NPR over the weekend on how popular it has become to Google someone. If you’re not familiar with Google, it’s a search engine that allows you to search web pages on the internet and a whole lot more!

Here’s how it works. Say you’re going on a blind date with someone named John Doe. You go to Google and type “John Doe”, including the quotes, and then type the name of the city John lives in, like “Walla Walla”. There’s advantages and disadvantages to including the city name. First of all, it narrows down the search to “John Doe” in your city, rather than every John Doe in the world. However, if John Doe is on the web but that page doesn’t mention what city he’s from, Google is going to skip over it. This will turn up various results, for example what interests he may have, any criminal records that have appeared in newspapers and if he’s been really liberal with surfing, any sexual activities he may be in to.

Anyways, I’ve been Googling people for years and have passed many a night looking up old friends, old romances and everything. It’s particularly fun when you look up an old flame on Google’s image search. At times you can revel in how haggard that young stud has become!

My old college roommate recently found me through a web search. We haven’t talked in nearly 20 years and have been exchanging e-mails back and forth for the past week catching up on a little bit of our lives. I mentioned an old mutual college friend that was from his hometown (so he knew her much better than I did) and he said that she had become a opera singer. I haven’t even thought about her since college (except maybe fleetingly) and now I’m interested in hearing some of her work. That’s kind of cool.

I must admit that I’m vain enough to Google myself. This blog often ranks high up on Google’s search results, especially if you Google the title “Life Is Such A Sweet Insanity.” I even beat out the television show I stole the title from (it’s a line from the theme to “Valerie”/”Valerie’s Family”/”The Hogan Family” starring Valerie Harper and then later Sandy Duncan.) If you search the same phrase through Google groups, you see newsgroup entries I made as early as 1994.

I guess the moral of the story is to always be aware of what you’re typing on the internet. Anyone, anywhere, can find it at anytime.

9 October 2005 by Geek 0

Alone With A Camcorder.

So I’ve been messing around with our camcorder and video software on the Mac Mini. I’ve done a little eight second movie to share. I’m being chased by bad guys and need to be beamed up and out of the way.

It’s not nearly as flashy as I would like to be, but we haven’t bought AfterEffects or Motion 2. That’s going to take some convincing on my behalf.

I’m pretty happy for my first little project. Now, on to the Oscars.

Here’s the movie. It requires QuickTime 7.

9 October 2005 by Video. 1

Energize.

I was going to be so productive around the house this weekend. I was going to get the garage sorted out to make room for the Acura. I was going to scrub, dust, polish and ‘dazzle-fy’ the house from top to bottom so that it would once again meet health inspection requirements. I was going to make cookies and other assorted goodies so that we’d be ready for the week.

I’ve spent all my free time to today trying to make myself disappear (via a movie) like a Star Trek crew member.

I’ve got my own unique sound effect down. I played it over the phone for Earl, he’s given it his stamp of approval. Now if I could just get the video effects just right. It has to have the right amount of flair.

Now if I could only beam this house clean.

This really took hardly any talent at all.

8 October 2005 by Fun and Games Dept 0

Duty Calls.

Earl is in Buffalo for the weekend. He gets to hang out with the bears while I’m at home holding down the fort and doing my professional duty.

I’m on call.

What’s a boy to do on a Friday night all alone at home? I’ve watched television. I’ve caught up the laundry. I had Doritos for supper. I’ve contemplated shaving my beard off. I’ve watched more television. I’ve played with the cat. I’ve messed around with the video camera and iMovie.

I think tomorrow I’ll rearrange the garage and vacuum the house from top to bottom.

I live such a breathtaking existence.

7 October 2005 by Ponderings and Musings 0

Peel to Prosperity.

Normally I shun McDonalds. I was once a huge fan of the chain and basically lived a “Supersize Me” existence when I was working nights on the Top 40 radio station. I could name every Mcburger, past and present, and even knew regional offerings throughout the country. Had my hair been a little redder and a little more plentiful, I could have been named Ronald.

A couple of years ago when I went on my health kick, the first thing I did was dump the McDonalds and friends fast food habit with one exception, and that was Chick-Fil-A. (There’s no Chick-Fil-As near us, so it was safe to keep it on the board as a rare treat.)

This past Monday McDonalds kicked off their annual Monopoly game, where you can win cool prizes, hot food and fun for the whole family. I don’t know why I obsess about this game, but I do and this year is no exception. I’ve eaten at McDonalds three times in the past week and at each visit have upped my grilled chicken sandwich to the “large” value meal so that I can get extra stickers. I have set up my game boards on my desk so that I can monitor my progress to winning a new car or a chance to be in an upcoming Buena Vista movie. I am saving my “Best Buy Bucks” for a DVD purchasing frenzy. I even considered posting “In Case Of Fire” signs on the walls through the house with the following instructions: 1. Save The Spouse. 2. Save The Cat. 3. Save The Computers. 4. Save the Stickers. I might have a fire drill over the weekend to make sure alternate escape plans are in place.

I considered meeting with our lawyer to modify the will so that I could negotiate who would take over the peeling fun, but he doesn’t take free breakfast sandwich stickers in payment.

6 October 2005 by Fun and Games Dept 0

If All Weeks Were Like This.

The week just flies by when you’re taking a couple of vacation days and touring around. But it was back to work this morning and I had a hell of a time getting myself out of bed and motivated. Work chugged along, nothing remarkable but nothing bad. It could be worse.

I think I’m still in “days off mode”.

There’s still little in the way of groceries in the house.

There’s a ton of e-mail to answer.

The washer and dryer are full of clothes.

I’m going to bed.

5 October 2005 by Ponderings and Musings 0

Sideling Hill Tunnel.




Sideling Hill Tunnel.

Originally uploaded by macwarriorny.

Today I accomplished something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. I hiked up to the abandoned portion of the Pennsylvania Turnpike and got to see one of the tunnels up close and personal.

When the Pennsylvania Turnpike was built in the late 1930s, it was built along the old South Pennsylvania Railroad right-of-way. There were seven tunnels along the mainline roadway, all of which were two-lane. By the mid 1960s, the tunnels were growing bottlenecks. Four of the tunnels were “twinned” with a second tunnel alongside. Three of the tunnels were bypassed. In 1968, a nearly 14 mile bypass was built between the Breezewood and Fort Littleton interchanges. The original turnpike roadway, and tunnels, still exist today and were donated to the Southern Alleghenies Conservancy and are now a bike trail.

The abandoned roadway begins at the Breezewood Interchange and is visible when you exit the turnpike to follow I-70 east towards Washington D.C. From there it winds its way through the valley while it’s newer counterpart goes up over the mountains.

Unfortunately the original overpass over US 30 is in the process of being demolished, so I was unable to hike from Breezewood up to Ray’s Hill Tunnel as I originally planned. I was a little disappointed because that tunnel is short enough that you’re able to see the other end when you’re walking in.

Instead I followed US 30 east to PA 915 North and then onto Oregon Rd., a forest road. After a three mile drive through the forest and parking next to the forest station, I hiked about 1/2 mile through the woods and came across another portion of the original turnpike, about 1/4 mile west of the Sidling Hill Tunnel. This tunnel is the longest of the turnpike tunnels, clocking in at 6,782 feet. You can not see the other end of the tunnel when walking in. As you’re approaching the tunnel, you can feel the damp, cool air blowing in, chillier than anything you’ve felt from a subway tunnel. I hiked right up to it, curiously walking along the left side of the road as if it was an active roadway. I don’t know if I thought something or someone was going to come driving out of there or what, but I figured better safe than sorry.

I cautiously hiked up to the tunnel, mostly concerned about bats. Then I figured, I didn’t have any hair that they could get tangled in and if Bruce Wayne could survive the bats then I could too, so I walked in the tunnel about 250 feet and realized that I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. The tunnel has swallowed all the daylight I had left behind me. I peered ahead in the darkness, looking for signs of the other end of the tunnel and found none. I turned around and looked for the reassurance of the opening I had entered and saw the welcoming rays of sunlight. I turned around, walked a little closer to the opening, snapped some pictures and then hiked west along the roadway another mile or so before turning around and heading back to the car.

Afterwards, I stopped back in Breezewood, gassed up and hit the Turnpike to head home. Taking a different route than usual, I passed through Altoona and Williamsport, Pa. and Corning, Ithaca and Cortland, N.Y. before getting home.

All in all a great trip.

There’s more pictures here.

4 October 2005 by Fun and Games Dept 1

About J.P.

Just a guy with a husband. We’ve been together 28 years and he still makes me see fireworks on a daily basis. Hiker. Storm Chaser. Private Pilot. Tech Guy. Hackerish.

Weird? Eccentric!

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