April 11, 2007

I think I am going to go postal. I am ready to lose my mind. I am ready to grab the closest thing I can find that resembles Excalibur and run out into the lawn and begin screaming at the sun. “Why are you doing this? Why can’t people see this isn’t right? Why? Why? Why? Why?”

The National Weather Service has issued a Winter Weather Advisory for this area. It is in effect until tomorrow morning. We will see lots of rain, sleet and snow before all is said and done.

I am so sick of this whacked out weather that I am ready to seriously lose my mind and not in a funny ha ha sort of way. Are they fucking kidding me? Snow? Lots of snow? On April 12?

I don’t give a flying fuck. I’m not plowing the driveway. I’m not shoveling one single, solitary flake of it. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. I’ve had it. I’m done with it.

And if I hear one moron utter something like, “Where’s this global warming you liberals keep chirping about?”, they will lose their head and it will not be done in a pretty matter.

And while I’m at it, if I get one more spam comment on this blog that incoherently screeches about the virtues of credit cards I am going to lose my mind. I will download viruses and I will just start e-mailing all over creation at these idiots until they plead and beg for mercy.

And since I’m all fired up, if I hear one more newsbrief about Imus’ idiotic racial comments I am going to rip the knobs off the nearest radio and mail them somewhere important. Between clips of Elisabeth from The View saying he should get a “time out” (someone should give the American public a reprive from her stupidity) to those interviewed on the street who obviously have to briefed as to who Imus even is, it’s enough to make a person gag. The man is an idiot and said some idiotic things. Get over it. (And yes, I would feel the exact same way if he said similarly spirited remarks about gays.) If you don’t like him, change the channel. You don’t even have to walk to the television and turn the knob, just sit on your lazy ass and click the remote. They tout “As a broadcaster, he should be ‘responsible’.” Please. Someone. Get. A. Life. He can say what he wants. His job is to say what he wants. Don’t like it, change the channel. I keep changing the channel trying to escape the coverage of his comments but it’s everywhere. At least Imus is confined to one network.

Where’s Don Knotts and his magic remote? I want to be in black and white. I want to go to Pleasantville. I want a malt with Wally Cleaver. I’m sick of this static we call the present.