J.P.

Wonder?

So this is Gal Gadot, the actress selected to play Wonder Woman in the untitled movie coming out in 2015. Said movie also features Henry Cavill returning as Superman and Ben Affleck as Batman.

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I’m sorry, but I don’t see how Ms. Gadot can fill what many have affectionally called the “bullet tits”. Ok, maybe I’m the only one that’s called Wonder Woman’s costume that.

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Here’s the thing, a lot of people remember Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman from the 1970s television show. That’s what the general public knows as Wonder Woman. Yes, she’s done a whole lot more in her comics, but when Joe Blow thinks of Wonder Woman, he thinks of Lynda Carter.

Someone needs to give Ms. Gadot directions to the closest Krispy-Kreme. Stat. Personally I don’t think this is a good choice but what do I know? I know that I would rather see Jennifer Lawrence or Lucy Lawless in the role, but again, what do I know?

I’ll probably wait until the end of 2015 when the movie comes out on iTunes.

Home Sweet Home.

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Earl and I were scheduled to go away on a four-day weekend starting tomorrow night after work. Our target destination was the greater Dallas-Fort Worth area. Last weekend we decided to cancel the trip for a number of reasons, the primary one being that we just weren’t “feeling it”.

While I would have enjoyed a trip to Dallas to see friends and to explore a bit, the timing felt a bit off. At this time last year Earl and I went to Houston and New Orleans for a week and that was quite lovely, and our trip to Dallas was along that same idea, travel during the holidays just to get into the swing of things. The thing is, we’re already swinging.

I’m starting to feel settled in a bit for the winter months. Our home feels cozy, we are surrounded by friends and family up here and we have some fun meet-ups coming up over the holiday season. The trip to Dallas would have been too short and honestly, probably a little too pricey (even though we were cashing in airline miles all over creation) for the budget right now.

I’ve done a little rearranging of my remaining vacation time so I have two three-day weekends in a row. Not surprisingly, I’ll be using some of that time to go flying again (everyone cross your fingers for good weather!). We’ll also be finishing up our holiday shopping and the like. I think we’ll have to spin the “Mall O’ Choice!” wheel again this year to see what mall deserves our holiday dollars. Last year we ended up at Danbury Fair and met Kevin and Brian in person for the first time. This year, who knows where we’ll go.

I just know that at the end of the day (even if it’s 2 a.m. after a 12 hour drive), we’ll be home as snug as a bug in a rug in our beds.

Home sweet home. Perfection.

Inspiration.

So I’m still flying high (no pun intended) two days after my orientation flight as a student pilot. I have already scheduled my next lesson and I am really looking forward to that (I’m counting the days). I started the self-paced ground school instruction yesterday. It’s amazing what one can do with today’s technology. Imagine where we’ll be in a decade.

For the past couple of nights I’ve woken up in the middle of the night simply from being energized with the idea of becoming a pilot again. This gave me an opportunity to think a little bit while I was trying to get back to sleep.

Out of all the folks that shared the excitement about me pursuing pilot lessons, only one person asked me why I was pursuing this now, at this point in my life. After all, learning to fly in Central New York during the winter months is a challenge all of its own, but there’s never really a wrong time to learn to fly, I guess you just know when it’s time. And for me, it’s definitely time. There are a few things that have inspired me recently.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that during a Delta flight home from Minneapolis we had to do a couple of go-arounds to land due to the windy conditions at the airport. While I had a few moments of nervousness (looking back, I think that was because I didn’t know firsthand what was going on), for the most part I was really intrigued as to how the pilots were handling the plane. While others were nervous, I was more excited because while I didn’t want to be landing that plane in those conditions at that time, I really wanted to be in control of the plane and handling the challenges associated with being pilot. I have no dreams of flying an airliner, but I certainly want to fly for fun and bring friends and family along with me.

When Earl and I went to Oshkosh, Wisconsin earlier this year for their annual EAA AirVenture, I was thrilled beyond belief. On the night of our arrival, when I saw the small planes flying in and out of the airfield, making it obvious that the pilots were having a grand ol’ time, I realized that I really missed that sort of experience. I had only flown once in a small plane since I had flown with my Dad and I missed it very, very much. It’s something that I love to do and I can’t describe the giddiness I feel when I’m in a small plane. I really feel like I’m in a different world and it’s a really good feeling, even behind the controls of the plane on Saturday. It’s a freakin’ amazing feeling. Oshkosh is definitely on the bucket list.

Recently I saw a video of Jeb Corliss, a BASE jumper and wingsuit pilot, who hit some rocks during one of his amazing wingsuit flights. He nearly died. Jeb talked about his accident and the subsequent recovery, and if that guy can fly a wingsuit, crash, recover and get back into the wingsuit, I can certainly learn how to fly a Piper Cherokee. Life is about choices and my choice is to learn to do what I already know I love to do. There’s no reason to wait, there’s no excuse. Honestly, a long time ago I thought that a gay boy could never be man enough to fly. I have since learned that long ago I was a foolish lad.

But I think what really prompted me to contact the flying club and get started on my pilot lessons was coming across this photo:

That’s me, the short one in the front of the group of guys, with the striped shirt. We are all standing in front of a Cessna 150 that had been used to teach all but one of the older gentlemen to fly that day (the one in the yellow shirt is the Flight Instructor). The thing about that photo is that while I didn’t have a lesson that day (nowhere near old enough), I had sat behind the controls of the 150 and I had my hands on the stick for take-off, landing and during flight. While my feet weren’t on the rudder pedals, the instructor handled that, I had the illusion of flying the plane. I remember pulling too hard on the stick and the stall warning alarm sounding in the cockpit. It scared me but the Flight Instructor calmly said, “you might want to ease up on that a bit”. He was in control the whole time, but why would a 12 year old be “flying” a plane? Simple. We wanted to go for a ride and the flight instructor was more comfortable in the co-pilots’ seat. Despite the stall warning, I remember being so excited about my chance to really be the pilot of plane someday and I knew it was something that I wanted to do. Actually, it was something that I had to do.

I gazed at the photo for a long time and wondered: 33 years later, what am I waiting for? I couldn’t come up with an answer. While Earl won’t let me ride a motorcycle, he is fully supportive of me flying a plane.

I have spent many nights “relaxing” in front of a computer screen doing a modified version of what I do during the day for a career. I love what I do at work, but for the betterment of everyone involved, I need to disengage from work-like activities in the interest of recreation and relaxation. This, coupled with my love and need to fly, makes my pilot lessons a no-brainer.

I just can’t wait any longer. This lad needs to fly.

Some Things Never Change.

I wrote this blog entry back in 2005, which includes this very descriptive paragraph.

I think I’m becoming a little hostile towards cell phone users. A couple of weeks ago while we were at the State Fair, some moron would walk by, talking away on his cell phone and completely oblivious to the fact that he had just stomped on my foot, knocked an innocent grandma out of her wheelchair and that the cow ahead of him was not his girlfriend and was in fact shitting on his shoe. I would simply proclaim in a very loud, obnoxious, stage presence to the back of the auditorium voice, “OH MY GOD I’M AT THE STATE FAIR AND I MUST MAKE A CELL PHONE CALL RIGHT NOW!”. Then I’d raise my Motorola up like Kunta Kinte and genuflect. I would then proceed to dial random digits and order a pizza for the 10 people around me.

This is something I could have easily written about any interaction with the public today. Some things never change, apparently.

Flight.

This may come as a surprise to some but I am excited beyond belief to type this next sentence:

I had my first student pilot lesson today!

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Technically it was my introductory lesson, but after take off of the VERY long runway at Griffiss International Airport in the Piper Cherokee 140, my flight instructor said to me, “Congratulations, you are flying!” And indeed I was, in the pilots’ seat, behind the controls of the Cherokee. My hand was on the throttle, my other hand on the yoke, my feet on the rudder pedals and my eyes on the horizon.

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(Taken after we landed).

Starting as a young kid I flew in small planes with my dad and my grandfather and friends of the family over the years and I have always enjoyed every moment of those experiences, even the times I flew with my grandfather (he was a little jerky with his movements in the cockpit in comparison to riding with my dad). While I sat in the pilot seat of a Cessna 150 a few times, my experience has always been as a passenger in the co-pilot seat. Dad said “here, take the stick” quite a few times and I would do just that, but takeoff and landing was always handled by the pilot. Today, I took off and landed and flew around with a whole bunch of instruction from the flight instructor.

I. Loved. Every. Moment. Of. It.

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My experience in small planes was always at small airstrips which most of the time amounted to a mowed down section of a hay field, so as we were coming in for a landing at Griffiss, I said to myself, “holy shit that’s a long runway” (Griffiss’ runway clocks in at 11,820 feet). We landed long so we wouldn’t have to taxi forever to get back to the hanger. Wow, that runway is huge.

After talking about the requirements to get my private pilot certification, we went out to the plane and went through the pre-flight checklist and the like. I made a bunch of mental notes and then we went flying. We spent a little less than an hour in the air in the “student practice area” west of the airport. Learning to use visual navigational aids, I did what I thought was a nice turn at 3200′ around the hotel tower at Turning Stone Casino. Just to get a feel for the controls, on the way there I did some turns between the airport and Sylvan Beach on the eastern shore of Oneida Lake. After a few more maneuvers, we headed back to Griffiss and landed on that really long runway. After the plane was fueled and put away in its hanger, we went back to the aviation club room where I met some of the other club members and hung out with the guys for a bit. It was very reminiscent of hanging with the pilots in the picnic area at the airport near my Dad’s house on a Sunday afternoon.

The only thing missing from this experience today was being able to call up Dad and tell him that I became a student pilot today. After sharing the experience with Earl, I called my Mom and told her the news. She could tell by the excitement in my voice that I was very excited about the whole experience and that I was really looking forward to this new adventure in my life.

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I am so happy that I took this first step and I am really looking forward to my next lesson. I kept saying, “THAT was awesome!”. I have to admit that I was nervous when we first took off but after a few moments I started calming down and I was starting to feel the beginnings of confidence. The instructor kept saying how much he loved to fly and I couldn’t agree with him more. Looking out over the snowy landscape, with Oneida Lake off in the distance and me actually in the pilots’ seat was like a dream come true.

It’s in my blood. I can’t help it. I love to fly. And that’s what I’m going to do.

Thanks.

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So today is Thanksgiving in the United States. Today is the day when we take a moment to gather ourselves with those that we call family, enjoy a delicious meal in some manner and give pause to remember what we are thankful for. At least, that is my understanding of the holiday. Judging by some of the behavior observed through various media outlets, today is the day where one sits in the cold and waits for the closest big box store to open up many hours before Friday so customers can maul and punch one another in an effort to get the cheapest laptop on the block.

I am thankful that I am a Mac boy and I am thankful that I have the means to be a Mac boy.

Earl just prepared us a fantastic dinner that the three of enjoyed immensely. I helped with the preparations and I think I might have shocked the others in the house when I went ahead and washed the dishes by hand. Up until now I have always subscribed to one of the many things my mother taught me: “why wash the dishes by hand when you can run another load?”

In the photo shown above you might notice a beautiful centerpiece at the end of the table (because we’re cockeyed like that). The centerpiece is a lovely gift from our neighbor Bradley, who has a certain flair for that sort of thing. 

I am thankful for good hearted people in the world.

While Earl and I were shopping at Hannafords last weekend, picking up our Thanksgiving groceries and the like, we ran into our friend Dana and two of her daughters. Dana has always made me smile because she has such a zest for life. It’s been over a decade since we worked in the same place together and our career paths have taken us both in different directions, but Dana still makes me smile. Her positive nature is contagious.

I am thankful for positive people in the world.

I spoke to my Mom and my sister this morning before the dinner preparations were solidly underway. It was very good to talk to them, even if it was a brief conversation. Because of the whirlwind paced life we have been living lately, we haven’t seen them as much as we usually do.

I am thankful for family, both that which we’re born into and that which we choose.

For the first time in a few years I am off from work tomorrow. Work is “BAU”, or Business As Usual tomorrow, but I took a PTO day so that I could enjoy a long weekend for Thanksgiving this year. I’ve seen a couple of Facebook updates from co-workers and it looks like they are enjoying their Thanksgiving holiday.

I am thankful for co-workers that I feel comfortable enough to add as Facebook friends. While I’m at it, I’m thankful for my job as well. It’s a good gig.

All in all I think I’ve found the sweet spot in life. And it is my intention to stay in this sweet spot. After all, I am thankful for recognizing that life is what you make of it.

Name.

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Our friends (and I use this term with as much implied sarcasm as possible) at The Weather Channel® have continued the tradition they started last year of naming any sort of random weather event that might occur at any given time. They have solid naming requirements, such as “freezing temperatures” (during the winter, mind you), to warrant naming such an event. They’re cute names like “Petunia Partly Cloudy” and “Rinalda Rain Shower”. Sometimes they theme the names, for example, naming everything based on Greek Mythology, like “Athena Asshattery”.

The current weather storm that is allegedly gripping our nation during this time of thanks is called “Winter Storm Boreas”. Boreas is slated to bring us a whopping six-inches of snow (please, I’ve seen bigger) and temperatures in the low 30s. This six-inches of snow will be approximately 4.6% of the average annual snowfall expected in our area during the 2013-2014 winter season.

Give me a friggin’ break.

It’s bad enough that schools close now if there is a suggestion of snow in the forecast and that folks raid their local supermarket for any trace of milk or bread if there’s a few flakes of snow in the air. When did we become such a fearful, spooked out society? Another thing to consider: naming the storms has another detrimental effect that I think might be the inspiration for all of this: insurance deductibles and the like go up for weather events that have names. Name the storm, incur some damage, more money for the insurance companies. Granted, it’s not the National Weather Service that is naming these storms, it’s the very commercially-driven Weather Channel that’s doing the naming, but as most know, anyone capable of pushing a pencil for a living at an insurance company certainly has the where-with-all to quibble over the details of where a storm got its name.

What a bag of Wanda Wind.

The hysteria surrounding any sort of winter weather event in Central New York really strikes a nerve with me. When did we become such a bunch of weak sheep? Having lived 97.4% of my lifetime in some sort of Great Lakes snow belt, I’m used to snow. In fact, I like the snow. I don’t like the cold but I like the snow and while it does stick around way too long, I’m kind of proud of the fact that I live in an area of the country that has the largest single-blade snowplow in the world at an airport that rarely experiences weather delays due to snow, all while getting triple digit inches of snow during any given year. I’m not afraid to drive anywhere when there’s a suggestion of a flurry in the air. I know how to drive in the snow, I know how to live in the snow and I certainly know how to survive in the snow. If it looks bad outside, and anyone that has any sort of IQ level in the triple digits can deduce if it’s bad outside or not, I don’t go out. If I’m going somewhere, I put my phone AWAY and I pay attention to what I’m doing, where I’m going and what the road conditions are. It’s not rocket science. If it’s beyond your skill level, MOVE. I don’t need a person trying to find the bleakest, scariest looking scenario to fly to so they can go on camera and talk about a storm with a name telling me not to go outside. They should be saving the names for the big stuff, like hurricanes that blow buildings down and typhoons that blow islands away. This naming of storms that will bring six-inches of snow to the GREAT LAKES SNOW BELT is insulting to the intelligence of everyone involved. If we live in a world where we need everything gamified (after all, naming a storm also gives it that air of “it’s just a game!”) so that we can be distracted long enough to pay attention to the weather, then we seriously need a thinning of the herd.

Now I know that having a “winter event” during the Thanksgiving travel rush is big news because the whole airline travel thing is a big deal and nothing makes people give thanks like seeing someone else on a television screen sitting in a pile of luggage up to their ears in the middle of an airport terminal. But the fact of the matter is, people need to calm down and The Weather Channel® seriously needs to stop this idiocy of trying to drum up ad dollars by naming “weather events”.

Unorganized.

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I am at the office today. Per my routine whilst at the office, I just picked up a large, unsweetened iced tea at the local Dunkin’ Donuts. Long gone are the days where the staff was friendly at they smiled and said “thank you” and the like. Now you are greeted with a blank stare and airs of hysteria surrounding some sort of drama with the hot chocolate machine. There is no greeting, there is no parting message, just some punching of virtual buttons on a screen, money tendered and less money thrown back at you.

I’m starting to feel old.

Now because I grew up in a retail environment, I’m probably more sensitive to this than most, but it makes me nuts when a cashier hands me back a wad of cash with the coin laying on top and a receipt on top of the whole mess. I know we live in a world where faster is better, but come on, please at least pretend that you care that I am contributing to your low cost paycheck.

The total came to $2.86. At any other Dunkin’ Donuts it would have been $1.99 plus tax, but this is the Johnstown Dunkin’ Donuts and they have tea bags laced with gold or something, so we pay extra for the surly service. I handed the cashier a $20 bill.

1. She put the $20 in the till before giving me my change. WRONG. You lay the $20 on top of the till so that if there is a disagreement to the amount of change given to the customer, there’s visual evidence.

2. She put the $20 in the till tails up, which was contrary to the $20 directly underneath it. WRONG. All your bills should go in one direction. I always learned that bills went heads up and to the right, but others might have a different approach. It doesn’t really matter (actually it does to me) outside of the fact that all the bills should be going in the same direction. It just shows care and organization. Disorganized money means you really don’t care: you don’t care about your job, you don’t care about whether your drawer balances or not and quite frankly, I’d bet dollars to day old DD donuts that you don’t care if you’re wearing clean underwear or not.

3. She yanked out the change and handed me a wad of bills, coin and paper. The bills were in disarray (pictured above in the same state as received, save for the fact that I flattened them out) with the heads and tails going every which way. I threw a penny in the tip jar in order to make some sort of point (why does a cashier need a tip jar?) and I pocketed the rest of the mess. The penny tip went over her head because she apparently doesn’t know how to count. She didn’t count the change back to me because, again, it’s obvious that she doesn’t care if her drawer is balanced at the end of the day nor does she really care if I have the correct amount of change or not. While in the grand scheme of things this is all highly unimportant, this must be echoed in the fact that at that very moment, my patronage is not important. I’m not important. My unsweetened iced tea is not important and apparently the continued success of this Dunkin’ Donuts franchise is unimportant.

4. I received a glare when I mistakenly went to the “pick up area” to pick up my unsweetened iced tea because obviously that is all a ruse, everyone that’s anyone knows you’re suppose to fling your body over the discarded dishwasher delivery box that’s in the middle of the line (collecting Toys for Tots) and reach over the scalding hot coffee machines to get your beverage. Thus, the glare.

I was really tempted to dump my drink into the coffee machines but I declined the opportunity.

Here’s the thing. I know that the American Way, especially in the “progressive” Northeast, means to be as hostile as possible to others, especially in a retail environment. I get that. I weep about it, but I understand this. It’s the Millenial way and as a Generation-I-really-don’t-know-what-I-am, it’s not my job to question the ways of the wise. But would it really harm someone’s street cred to at least feign being interested in a task at hand?

Earl and I frequent a diner on a semi-regular basis. There are two hostess/cashiers at this diner and they work opposite shifts. The younger of the two flings menus around and tells us where to sit. When we pay for our meal, she tells us how much change we are receiving. I guess I should be happy that she counts at all. The money is in disarray.

The older of the two women asks us if the booth in question will work for us that night. When we pay, she counts our change back to us from total to tendered. I don’t have to do math, she doesn’t have to do math. There’s no math. We start at $18.84 and she’s going to count the change up to $19 and “one makes $20”. “Thank you and have a nice night.”

Is that really so difficult?

The blame of all this lies in my generation, the “Generation-I-really-don’t-know-what-I-am” set, because we have done a miserable job training these Millenials for menial tasks such as slinging hamburgers at McWhopper. I suspect that because there’s no trophy at the end of the day, they couldn’t care less. There’s nothing shiny, it’s just a job. They’re not getting promoted, they’re not earning stars, there’s no applause. Just a paycheck and that’s obviously not big enough, hence the need for a tip jar. 1

Here’s a tip: learn some manners, at least fake interest in what you’re doing and for the love of all that’s holy, let George and Abe and Ben all face the same direction in the cash drawer.

1 I hate those tip jars, however, I will tip at Starbucks IF the folks behind the counter are pleasant about their work. Otherwise, you ain’t getting a tip from me.

Cheese.

I haven’t thoroughly embarrassed myself in quite a while so I thought I would share this video. This song has been bouncing around in my head for the past couple of hours and sometimes they only way to get it out of my head is to just sing it out loud, at full voice. Normally I would do this by singing like crazy during a Jeep ride, but Earl wasn’t back from work yet and I didn’t know what our schedule would be afterward so I decided to just sing it in the kitchen. Because I apparently have too much time on my hands, I decided to record me singing it because I haven’t heard my own singing voice (other than in my head) in a long while.

I think I look like and sound like a can of Cheez Whiz singing this but then again, sometimes I have no shame. Proceed with caution.