J.P.

I’m sitting under the gazebo in the middle of July. This is not too bad for a Tuesday afternoon in the Sonoran Desert; it’s 98ºF but rather pleasant. There’s a decent breeze. The National Weather Service says we can expect thunderstorms but not until later tonight. I like that. Night lightning shots are cool.

Speaking of lightning shots, I’m very pleased with a shot I took during a storm this past weekend.

There’s a little bit of “lens blowout” (I don’t know the official term) at the bottom of the lightning strike but for the most part it came out well. I’m enjoying storm photography and my life videography in general as a creative outlet.

I have been thinking it’s Wednesday all day, though it is Tuesday. My husband is doing better with COVID; he tested negative yesterday. Mike and I are negative, but now Chris is testing positive. He’s just feeling a little rundown. I just heard that Jamie is coming home from barber school with a little bit of a scratchy throat. He partied in Los Angeles over the weekend, so it could just be that he’s tired.

I’m a few days into 56 and I’m feeling good about that. I’m looking forward to life’s next adventure, whether big or small.

That’s a good feeling.

I’ve been trying extra hard to avoid the news over the past 48 hours. My opinion is not important in the cacophony of analysis over what happened in Butler, Pa., and honestly, I don’t have the energy to care, let alone share thoughts and prayers.

I am at the point in my life where I just want to punch something every time I hear Wolf Blitzer’s voice, so I just put on some news noise canceling headphones and go about my day.

This is what 56 looks like.

We spruced up the sitting area in our “suite”, which is marked as the “Activity Room” on the blueprints of our home. The old couch and such had moved here from Chicago and had not held up as well as we would have liked, so when tax time came around earlier this year we picked out some new furniture for the space.

Truman has decided he does not like the couch and shows his discontentment with the situation in the photo. On the other hand, the humans are finding the whole affair quite comfy. The top of the coffee table flips up for those of us that geek out with our laptops while sitting on the couch.

Earl tested positive for COVID-19 this morning. This is his first time testing positive since COVID-19 became a thing. Luckily, he is fully vaccinated and is working with our doctor on a prescription for Paxlovid.

Fingers crossed he gets through this as easily as I have in the past.

On one hand it’s hard for me to believe COVID-19 is still around, on the other hand, of course it’s still around.

I’ve been very pensive this week. I suppose it’s that time of year; I take stock of where I am in my life and what I want to do with whatever time I have left. These are things that consume many cycles of my brainpower at any given time. It just feels like that in the mid part of any given year it feels like it consumes a little more of my time.

I would like to say this photo was randomly snapped and it just happened to catch the moment of me lost in my thoughts. But in reality, I set up the camera and just set it to capture a bunch of photos while I went back to being lost in my thoughts. It’s a good thing I don’t pay for film processing anymore. That’s one of the great things about today’s technology and art.

While I was on my pre-sunrise walk this morning I found myself caught up in a game of “shoulda coulda woulda”. I then quickly realized that game is not productive and is a waste of mental energy. I am here, right now, because I was meant to be right here, right now. It’s the way of the Universe.

I think part of my pensiveness is because I’ve been wondering what I want to do with the YouTube endeavor I’ve been recently endeavoring. At the end of the day I just want it to be a creative outlet. Any creativity I want to share is still shared with enthusiasm, regardless of the feedback or the number of eyeballs that see it. That’s what’s most important to me; the creative process, not any adulation around the result. Typing out this last paragraph has helped me regain my perspective.

As I sit here, in my mid 50s, I’m sometimes a little sad to realize that the magic I once sought as a youngster isn’t really there. Maybe I was looking for magic over Dorothy’s rainbow or something. But then the adult version of me realizes that attitude is a little pessimistic and I remember that we find the magic we seek, no matter where it is.

I need to remember to keep seeking that magic. I’ll find it.