The Unknown.

There is a fear running rampant through our merry little household. It is a fear that has gripped this tiny bit of existence for the past several years and quite frankly, something has to be done about it.

People are afraid to open the dishwasher.

Now, opening the dishwasher involves a little bit of a commitment. Not only does one have to put dishes into the dishwasher (that’s what they usually do when they open the dishwasher), but one also runs the very insane risk of finding out that the dishes that are currently in the dishwasher are clean.

The horror.

Because of the wild advances in appliance technology (nothing says “welcome to the 21st century” like having to reboot your dishwasher), there’s no escaping the fact that if you open the dishwasher when the dishes inside it are clean, you’re going to make the little “clean” indicator light go out and then the Magic Fairy that flies around the house is going to know that someone opened the dishwasher. Because you see, if the dishes in the dishwasher are clean and the “clean” indicator is off, then the Magic Fairy will know that someone was unwilling to commit the time needed to empty the dishwasher. It’s apparently the Magic Fairy’s job. Though the Magic Fairy will not say anything, audible sighs will probably be heard and their will be an air of guilt about the house until someone confesses to this act of neglect.

Since that “clean” indicator on the front of the dishwasher strikes terror in some occupants of this house, it has been decided (most likely through a secret vote) that it’s easier just to pile the dishes in the sink, on the television, under the couch, in the back bedroom or over the litter box. At no time will a dirty dish approach a dishwasher with the “clean” indicator illuminated, for the aforementioned time obligation involved with opening the dishwasher after it has been rebooted and done it’s thing.

Be very afraid.


  1. I know someone who has the same “opportunity” in their household.

    We just finally got our dishwashing machine repaired after being out of service for several month, so that hasn’t set in here yet.

    1. I try not to get frustrated by little opportunities such as these but I do. We are on our third dishwasher in nine years in this house. The repairman told us it was cheaper to just replace it so we did.

        1. The dishwasher that came with the house was dated 1985 even though the house was built in 1996. It died. We replaced it with an expensive Jenn-Air dishwasher. That lasted four years when the motor went on it. It was cheaper to put in a new GE dishwasher instead of replacing the motor on the Jenn-Air. It’s crazy. My grandmother’s Waste King dishwasher lasted 20 years and my Dad’s GE dishwasher from 1977 lasted well into the 90s when it was deemed just too loud for the kitchen. Quality appliances are hard to come by.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.