November 26, 2012


So I’m a pretty vain guy. Whenever I see myself in the mirror I have to give myself the once over, make sure the old boy is holding up pretty good. While my appearance might not meet the expectations of others, it must meet my expectations. Hence, vanity. I don’t think it’s a horrible thing.

Now I don’t couple my vanity up to insanity. For example, I don’t believe in the whole metrosexual thing. I don’t get that at all. I don’t understand why guys pluck their eyebrows to look like a 30’s starlet or a Barbie doll. That’s just weird to me. Perhaps I don’t understand that because my eyebrows are nearly invisible. They’re doing their thing, they’re just not showy about it.

For the past week I’ve been letting my beard grow out a little bit with the intention of not really growing a huge beard, just a little something to show that I have a beard but nothing to strain soup or anything like that. It’s been nearly a year since I’ve had a full beard and when I last had a beard, I had some gray here and there but for the most part there was plenty of my natural gingerness to be found.

Imagine my surprise when I noticed the bulk of my new beard is gray. There were no screams or tears. There possibly might have been an audible gasp.

Now as I mentioned before, I have no interest in syncing my vanity up with insanity. While some people find comfort in wearing hairpieces or coloring their hair or beard or the like, that’s not me. I wouldn’t feel “real” doing that sort of thing. That’s why I’m bald by choice and that’s why you’ll never see me discreetly carrying a bottle of “Just for Men” around the drug store. If it works for you, great, I just know it won’t work for me. But I’m still vain, so I have been considering going back to clean shaven until the entire beard is gray. I would rather be all gray than some gray. I don’t know why that is, but it is. And I’m pretty sure senility hasn’t set in yet.

The jury is still out on whether the mostly gray beard will linger for a little while longer. Maybe going on vacation next week will help me feel more comfortable with the gray sprouts on my face.