I will be spinning at Buddies II in Buffalo this coming Saturday night. It’s my first time DJing in over a year and I’m very excited about it. The Buffalo Bears are a great group of guys. If you’re in the area, stop by for a great night of fun! And be sure to say hello!
You know I’ve been thinking a lot about these school shootings lately. I know I’m not the only one in the country thinking about them but I can’t really shake the sadness I feel from them.
Is this is what our society has become?
Thirty years ago when I was in second grade, I had two major concerns going on in school. The first was how I would be able to dance with Joyce Roberts during square dancing in gym class. You see, I just loved Joyce and she was always fun to dance with, but she was tall. Very tall. How would I reach up to her to put my hands around her to dance? The other concern was that the elementary school had just purchased three new film projectors, and as Mrs. Hayden’s designated class film projector operator (she had to keep me busy, these days I’d probably be zoned out on ritalin), I had better know how to run these new fangled Singer film projectors. I heard they were much different than those made by Bell & Howell.
And that was the extent of my worries in elementary school. If I were that age today, would I have to worry that I was going to be shot by some madman that had broken into the school? My goodness, I don’t think the thought of someone breaking into the school crossed anyone’s mind back then.
The world has become so crazy. When I think of those young girls in that Amish school in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, my soul jumps through so many emotions. Obviously sadness, on several levels. Incredibly, however, I also feel a sense of awe and honor. Some accounts say that two of the older girls volunteered to be shot first in the hopes that the others could escape unscathed. The word admirable does not even begin to describe the courage of these two young women as they saw, accepted and sealed their fate at the hands of a madman.
Many advocate for the abolishment of guns completely. Of course you really can’t do that because you’d be trampling on the rights of citizens, but there certainly needs to be many, many more gun control mechanisms in place.
I have many questions, but like others, I don’t have many answers.
Today is National Coming Out Day. For those unfamiliar with the term, a quick explanation might be in order. On National Coming Out Day, gay men and women announce to those around them that they’re gay, be it a family member, a co-worker, the newspaper or the world. It’s a support mechanism of sorts in order to show the world and each other, there are a lot of us, and we’re not alone.
I’ve never had to come out on National Coming Out Day because ever since my first day of college I’ve been pretty much out (and somewhat before then). Well, I take that back. In the early days I didn’t deny that I was gay by any means but I didn’t discuss it if the subject didn’t come up. I now look at that as sort of a cowardly approach. Now I don’t think one should be sitting around the dining room table at a family gathering and declare, “The chicken is delicious, please pass the salt, by the way I’m gay, how about some fudge for dessert?”
While my early approach lasted until 1990 or so with many (I had told a few folks back in the mid 80s)and the mid 90s with a selected few (mostly my family), my commitment to Earl changed my feelings about how out I was going to be. I was in love (still am!) and for the first time in my life, I felt that I had found the love of my life and I wanted the world to know it. I hid from no one. And you know what? It was around that time that I felt I earned the respect of those around me. My family members, my friends and my co-workers truly respected me. I wasn’t hiding anything. I wasn’t in a closet peeking out of the louvers like some weird Hee-Haw skit, here I was, door wide open, take me as I am. And you know what else? If they didn’t like me because I’m gay than I guess we didn’t really have much in common anyway.
Now I don’t believe in standing up and making this huge proclamation that you’re gay. While I occasionally have a flair for the dramatic (I could be the long lost son of Maurice and Endora), I don’t believe in making a big deal about it. It’s not a big deal. I’m gay, so what. If it’s a big deal to you, well, that’s your problem. If you try to restrict my rights or beliefs or disrespect me or my partner because of it, well, then we have a different sort of problem that probably isn’t going to be pretty.
At my last job interview (which was for my current job of two years, by the way), I was able to confirm to my future supervisor and department director about my sexual orientation without having some awkward conversation. I didn’t change or neutralize the pronouns when talking about my personal life, my partner is a “he” and he’ll always be a “he”. And I still got the job. It was one of the biggest breaths of fresh air I ever had in my life simply becuase I was just being honest. I wasn’t worried that I would be looked over for the position just because I’m gay; if that’s the reason they pass me over then I don’t want to be working for them anyway. No hiding, no secrets, I am what I am.
So if you’re gay, peeking around the closet door and wondering what to do today, just take a step out and tell someone, anyone, that you’re gay, even if it means admitting it to yourself by looking at your image in the mirror. You deserve the self-respect and those around deserve the respect of you telling them the truth.
It seems like it was just yesterday when I had snapped this photo and posted a blog entry about the days getting longer. As I look at the date stamp, I realize that was back on April 19.
Working the early shift this week, I awoke at 5:30 to complete darkness. The wind was blowing in typical October fashion, making the leaves rustle and putting a slight chill on the air as we get ready for hints of winter predicted for this weekend.
I’ve often said that I feel a certain magic in the air during this time of year. It’s not a time to hibernate but rather a time to rejuvenate. I embrace the darkness of the shorter days by using all my senses to feel my way through life instead of just simply seeing it.
Every once in a while I’ll consider doing a podcast to accompany my little blog here. I have no idea what I would say, but I imagine that I’d get ranting about something and then go on and on about a myriad of topics until I ran out of hard drive space.
While thinking about this endeavor, I’ve been downloading podcasts from iTunes to see how others are doing it as well. Not to be snotty, but I haven’t been able to listen to a complete podcast yet. I find them boring and being an ex-radio person I find them technically frustrating.
For example, I listened to one podcast in which the person interviewed another person over the phone. He asked questions and laughed at the responses. They must have been uproarously funny because the host almost snorted Chrissy Snow style while talking about some random movie. Unfortunately, the listener couldn’t hear a word the person on the phone said. There wasn’t even any Charlie Brown’s teacher “wa wa wa wa wa wa” noise. There was a little bit of hiss that’s always present in a recording, but I’m pretty sure the host wasn’t laughing at the hiss.
I had no idea what was going on. So I deleted that podcast forever and always amen.
Cruising through the gay podcast section of iTunes I decided to try another. The host of that one sounded like he was a prescription away from a full blown cry as he apologized for being so depressing on his podcasts. Apparently this tearful soul was being upbeat this time around. A quick “delete” saved me from a call to Dial A Prayer.
I then decided that perhaps the gay podcast route wasn’t the way to go, perhaps I should focus on dance music or something. So I did a search and found a podcast like “Gay Bears Dance Music”. Perfect! There was some furfestival somewhere and the DJ was highlighting the music he played. Apparently it was held on another planet (or perhaps I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing with dance music) because I could have swore that he was playing a mix of Yoko Ono and a really bad Bjork impersonator. That podcast gave me gas so I deleted that one as well.
I’m thinking I’m going to stick to the written word for now. I won’t do a podcast until I feel it’s perfect, and I’m not comfortable with the idea until I have the elements together to make my podcast pop. When I’m ready to go, I’ll let you know.
I feel like the day should be over already, but alas, it’s only lunch time. That’s not entirely a bad thing but with today being a U.S. holiday, work isn’t as busy as it usually is.
So it’s Monday. Earl and I had a fantastic weekend and I am eagerly looking forward to the next. Friday will be the 10th anniversary of the day I proposed, high upon a mountaintop in the Adirondacks back on October 13, 1996. To celebrate, we’ve both taken the day off from work and will probably go on a roadtrip, ending up in Buffalo, where we’ll spend the weekend so that we can hang with friends and I can DJ Saturday night.
There’s just those three pesky workdays that lie between here and there. It’s not depressing by any means, just a little frustrating. It boils down to the fact that I’m an “all fun and games” kind of guy.
Tom is playing his daily game of “shriek ’til you can’t shriek no more” to signify that it’s time for him to go outside/come inside/go outside/come inside/go outside. The weather is absolutely gorgeous and I fear that this is the last we’ll see of the nice weather for 2006. There’s been rumors of snow flakes in the air by the end of the week.
So of course we’re getting an estimate on getting central air installed tomorrow.
After a few run ins with some tasty BBQ this past weekend I’m back on the eating healthy track and I feel better for it. Let’s see how long this round lasts!
Earl and I are back home after a wonderful weekend with his family. We’re all settled in and he’s watching the Eagles take on the Cowboys as I type, I’m waiting for the washing machine to signal that’s its time to move clothes from the washer to the dryer.
I am so domesticated.
The wedding and reception were both very enjoyable. His whole family is so beautiful both inside and out. I had just enough to drink to keep the festivities interesting, to the point where I was going to let our 16 year old nephew take the Acura out for a spin since he thought it was such a nice car. I think I surprised Earl with the gesture (though he did not have a heart attack), in which he was then relieved that our nephew can’t drive a stick. I wasn’t about to let him learn how to drive a stick in the RSX; I wasn’t *that* intoxicated.
Nevertheless, chalk it up as trying to be the neat uncle in the aunt slot.
After the reception, we got together with Rick (Earl’s stepbrother) and Helen at the bar in the hotel we were staying at and just hung out, watched some baseball and made some travel plans for next year. Rick and Helen were the witnesses to our commitment ceremony nearly ten years ago, next year they’re going to tie the knot and have decided to do so in Ireland. They’ve asked us to join them for the ceremony.
Good thing I have a passport!
So now we are making plans for our first trip abroad. It’s a little over a year away, but I’m already looking forward to the journey.
I always get a kick out of the road signs that point the way to “Central Phila” instead of Center City (the commonly used name for this area).
As mentioned in the previous entry, a very nice young man offered to take our photo in front of City Hall. Here it is.
Earl and I spent the evening walking the streets of Center City Philadelphia tonight. We stopped at a neighborhood bar, the Westbury, for a beer and some eye candy. We walked the quiet side streets, admiring the residences that sit in the middle of the city yet in a quaint, quiet setting. We admired the art deco styling of Suburban Station and the rebuilding of the City Hall. In fact, a very nice gentleman offered to take our picture in front of City Hall and if I had remembered the cable to connect the camera to my computer you’d be able to see it right now. Instead, the captured moment will have to wait until Sunday night.
Tonight I feel like I actually experienced Philadelphia. In the past, I’ve felt like I only saw it, tonight I felt it. And the feeling was good.
When I got back to work this afternoon I just knew that I had jinxed myself by my lunch time blog entry. Here I am proclaiming that I was eating healthy and sticking to it in order to reach a “magic number” by Thanksgiving.
That “magic number” must be two. Because I just downed two honking big tacos from the local Taco Bell not five minutes ago. I chased them down with a big gulp sized Diet Pepsi because after all, I am counting calories.
Before dashing off to school I had some popcorn made with PAM and iced tea. Doesn’t that sound sexy? I wasn’t even in the classroom yet when I started thinking about food. Any kind of food. The teacher talked, I paid attention and went through all the exercises we were given but I couldn’t stop thinking about food. What did Wendy (to my left) have for supper tonight? Does Dan (to my right) like diner food like we do? He seems like the type. Then the instructor mentioned he was going grab a snack after class because he’s been running around like a maniac today. I wasn’t even running around and I was feeling like a maniac. I wanted Taco Bell. NOW. Damn the convenience store down the road from us for getting rid of their Taco Bell franchise license. DAMN THEM. So I drove over two towns and whipped through the drive thru window and got myself a combo number one.
The food was freakin’ awesome.
I find it rather comical that I can’t be talking on a cell phone here in New York State while I’m driving, but I can balance a Taco Supreme on one leg, drive with the other knee and shift between bites and slurps and not get a ticket for it.
So here I am admitting it. I eat tacos. I love them. And you don’t even have to call me Anastacia Beaverhausen.*
*See your local Will & Grace fanatic if you don’t get the reference.
Just a guy with a husband. We’ve been together 28 years and he still makes me see fireworks on a daily basis. Hiker. Storm Chaser. Private Pilot. Tech Guy. Hackerish.
Weird? Eccentric!
