I’m Not Really That Cranky Today.

I just reread the previous two entries from today and found that they made me sound quite cranky today. I don’t feel cranky at all, just full of opinions I guess. I’ve been busying myself about the house while covering on-call for a couple of hours for a co-worker, Earl is parked on the sofa (or in old English, Davenport), watching the Eagles game on Monday Night Football. I occasionally hear a loud “YES” or “GO” in a very authorative football fan voice.

Go Eagles!

So while it may seem that I’ve been a little cranky and/or spacey today, rest assured that I was my usual jovial self. And thank goodness tomorrow isn’t Monday.

Law of Rant.

Over the weekend our Fine Folks in Washington tacked an amendment banning online gambling onto a Port Security bill. Can someone please take a moment and explain to me what the hell online gambling has to do with securing the ports of the country? Who does the government think they are in banning online gambling anyway? How dare they decide that they’re my babysitter and tell me what to do with my hard earned money. If you’ve got a problem with my gambling habits, well, quite frankly its none of your business. You mind your business and I’ll mind mine. You don’t like gambling? Don’t do it! And don’t come crowing to me about I’ll end up on welfare, blah, blah, blah. If a person loses all their money gambling then they deserve to be out on the street.

By the way, has the entire country lost their mind? School children were killed at a one-room Amish schoolhouse in Lancaster County, Pa. today. That has to be one of the more tragic things I’ve heard in quite a while. What the hell? The Amish are probably one of the most peaceful people left in these parts and their children are gunned down.

Then we have this whole constant fear thing going on. My sister can’t take a tube of toothpaste on a flight to Russia because she might build a bomb with it. Are you kidding me? They blue chemicals in the airplane toilet are probably more dangerous than a tube of Crest. She’s flying 12 hours and can’t brush her friggin’ teeth. Unbelievable. But I bet you they’re still serving alcohol in first class, never mind that alcohol can be quite ignitable. As long as they have bad breath, I suppose the world is safe.

I am so sick and tired of all this fear mongering going around. Be afraid of the terrorists, they could get us at any moment. You know what? Someone please tell the current administration to shut the fuck up and go stand in the corner and don’t open your mouth until someone asks for your opinion. I’m sick of all this chatter about how something bad is going to happen. When is something good going to happen? Why doesn’t anyone tell us that? By the way, as it stands right now, the *American* death toll in Iraq is higher than the number of Americans killed on 9/11. This number does not take into consideration the thousands of Iraqi civilians killed. You know what they say about “two wrongs”.

Everyone has flipped their lid? The news media is jumping for joy because gas is at $2.50 a gallon. “Oh look, gas is so cheap now.” Are you kidding me? Two years ago it was half of that. What in the world are these people thinking? Has everyone turned into a mindless zombie?

I just had to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening.

In Too Deep.

During a particularly agitating phone call with a customer today I decided to let my mind escape for a few moments while the customer ranted and raved about something quite trivial in the great scheme of things. What I find insane, quite frankly, is I daydreamed about singing a cover version of Dead Or Alive’s “In Too Deep”, complete with cowboy hat and chaps with my ass hanging out for the video.

Thank the Universe I’m not trapped in an episode of Ally McBeal or I would have found myself sitting at my desk in that very outfit.

Oy. Where the hell did that come from? Shockingly, it’s just another Monday in my book.

Maybe I need my own theme song or something.