J.P.

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I’m going to preface this blog entry with two points. 1. I am writing about adult themes in this entry so it probably shouldn’t be viewed by someone that would not be considered an adult and 2. I am completely aware of where I am writing in this entry, the content and it’s visibility.

Update: I knew I would add to this after the fact, there is an addition to this original entry at the bottom. -J.P. 24/11/09 1456 EST

As you may have heard, American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert performed the final number at the American Music Awards. This was Adam’s chance to debut the first single from his new album. I believe the title of the song is “For Your Entertainment”.

Here is a screencap from the performance, courtesy of National Examiner.

Adam’s performance was, to put it mildly, sexually suggestive. No disrespect to inflated breasts but this performance sexually blew Janet Jackson’ wardrobe malfunction out of the water for a couple of reasons: he french kissed a male guitar player, he had a submissively clothed man simulate oral sex on him and he dragged a scantily clad woman across the stage like a bag of so many potatoes. And that was just a few of the highlights. The performance seemed a little clunky in execution but the vibe was very hot and steamy.

The vocals and the song were both ‘meh’. If it weren’t for the controversy around this performance no one would still be talking about it.

My thoughts on this stunt, and I do firmly believe that despite reports to the contrary this smacks squarely of a publicity stunt, are all over the page.

First of all, I believe that many of the issues we find in American society are because people are downright terrified of their sexuality and because of this, we have put so many taboos on the subject that everyone is afraid to do what truly turns them on. Whether this was a publicity stunt or not, Adam was expressing himself artistically and freely. I totally get that and I identify with that. There is something quite freeing about walking down a foreign city street on a hot summer night in a pair of assless chaps, a jock strap, a leather vest and a pair of military boots. However, time and place are the key here. And this is where I have a problem with Adam’s performance.

The American Music Awards are primarily a family program. This is where the younger generation gets to see awards given to their favorite artists. This is where they see live performances of what they are listening to through their headphones. Whether they are a good influence or not, today’s artists are definitely influences on the younger folks. What they see and hear get integrated into their life experience either consciously or subconsciously. While I don’t have an issue with Adam’s performance per se, I don’t think that a nationally televised award show airing before 11 p.m. (10 p.m. Central!) was the right venue for it. Where Janet Jackson’s boob was a wardrobe malfunction, there was no mistaking what was going on during this performance.

I get the artistic expression. I get the overt sexuality. I don’t have an issue with that. I have an issue with the time and place. One has to wonder if Adam really likes to get his groove on in this manner. I hate the thought of sexuality being used in a non-genuine manner for the sole purpose of publicizing something. Back in the early 90s, I truly believed that Madonna was expressing herself in a genuine way.

One of the unfortunate aspects of this controversy is that some are saying this sets the gay civil rights movement back a notch or two. I don’t believe that to be the case and quite honestly I think the ones that are saying that from our team are the ones that are desperately trying to prove that gay and lesbian couples are no different than their heterosexual married counterparts. And for many people, that is most certainly the case. But just as their are kinky heterosexual folks out there, there are most certainly kinky gay folks as well with varying degrees of ingenuity all the while across all types of people. I know straight married couple that only played in three ways, I know another that would send their kids to the sitters so they could tie each other to the bed and play with whips. If simulating the forcing of a young man onto his crotch gets Adam going then I think that it’s great to find a way for everyone to be fulfilled, but demonstrating this on the stage at the American Music Awards is not the right place to do this.

It’s no secret that there are festivals, fairs and parades all over the world celebrating sexual exploration. I think these are great things and I have even attended my share of these events over the years but like my feelings on Adam’s performance, I have an issue when these things include family-friendly stuff such as circus-like fire shows, face painting and ice cream. While I believe that parents should be open and honest about sexuality with their children as they ask questions and such, I don’t believe that it should be thrusted (no pun intended) into the face of youngsters without an opportunity for their parents or guardians to step in and decide whether the particular activity/scene/etc is right for their kid. Just as I don’t believe that a kid should see me walking through a hotel lobby in the aforementioned assless chaps. There is a time and a place for all of that stuff and I firmly believe that it’s not always the time nor is it always the place.

We are all different. I know that. I knew I was different in kindergarten when I wanted to tell a young classmate that I wanted to marry him by trapping him under a wood slatted rocker/see-saw thing. I understand that most people are wired to be monogamous. I get that some are wired to only insert pole A into slot B and go no further than that in sexual adventure. And I certainly get that some don’t consider a sexual encounter complete unless there is meters of rope, the rattle of chains and a spinning ceiling fan. I get all that. And this diversity should be celebrated. Again, it’s just a matter of timing and placement.

Do I think the gay rights movement was damaged overall. I don’t. Those opposed to equal rights or pushing the hate and fear button are going to latch onto anything they can get their grubby little paws on, and while I think Adam provided them with a week or two of water cooler chatter, I don’t think it’s going to do any long-term damage. People are who they are and they’ll do what they do.

I just wish it would have taken place at more adult-oriented venue.

Update: One of the things that I want to be clear about is that I have no issue with Adam doing a man-on-man kiss during his performance. It was a bit forceful and had a bit of a crazed thing going on but the actual kiss itself wasn’t R rated. Distasteful? A bit but hardly offensive in my eyes. It was the other adult stuff going on that I was commenting on.

Automatic.

Even though this is one of my favorite songs of the 80s (and nearly all time), before tonight I had never seen the official music video. It’s kind of cool to see music videos from back in the day when they were low budget.

I remember the first time I heard this song. I was riding in the back of my friend Scott’s Buick Century on Interstate 81 heading home from the movies in Watertown, N.Y. I remember asking him to turn up the radio because it sounded like such a good son.

The girls look a little cranky in this video but it’s fun nonetheless.

Here’s “Automatic” by The Pointer Sisters.

By the way, it’s Anita on the left, Ruth singing leads and June on the right.

23 November 2009 by J.P. DJ 1

Simplicity.

I left work early today because I wasn’t feeling well. I wasn’t wrought with coughing or sneezing, though I did have a few spells of each. I felt a little feverish. My stomach was flip flopping around a bit. As I colorfully explained to my supervisor upon my decision to go home today, “I’ve destroyed the bathroom a couple of times this morning.” He chuckled. It wasn’t a laughing matter as I was dead serious.

I came home shortly before lunch and took a long nap. Feeling much better after the apparently needed sleep (though I slept great last night), I kept it low key around the house for the rest of the day; I finished up laundry, I cooked some supper, I washed dishes and I chatted with friends online. I didn’t do anything that really required effort. It was a simple day and I think that’s what the doctor ordered.

Following in the theme of simplicity I deleted a bunch of online accounts I don’t use anymore and moved things off the smattering of computers around here so that I am pretty much using only my MacBook Pro for my day to day stuff. It’s working out better this way. I have finally wrapped my head around this computer and I feel the same way about this computer that I felt about my older PowerBook. We have become friends. It’s taken a while.

In this day and age it can be really tempting and really easy to complicate one’s life to the point of needing ADD to keep up with it all. Luckily I have a good dollop of ADD in my wiring to make good attempts in this arena but in reality I like the simple life. Actually, I like being connected the world in a simple way. I like the quietness of the country, I like the clouds rolling by and I like peering in on The Big Picture from my own private view.

Rest and relaxation today helped with slightly nudging me back on track. Nothing was out of control, nothing had derailed, but I had a little rattle that needed some fine tuning.

I’m ready for the holidays now.

23 November 2009 by J.P. Ponderings and Musings 1

Sunset.

I have to admit, the Cubster takes really good photos. This was taken at Chimney Bluffs State Park almost two weeks ago.

Even after over 13 years we still like to hold hands.

19 November 2009 by J.P. Fun and Games Dept 1

Odd.

I’m on my lunch hour as I write this. I’m plowing through a plate of leftovers from last night’s BBQ chicken. It’s tasty. I do chicken right.

I keep forgetting what day it is. Having Monday off, working Tuesday and then having Wednesday off gives work a little touch of whimsy and a big helping of disconnection, but coupled with the rapidly shrinking size of the group I work in, there isn’t really anyone around to notice. I have noted that the people that are left are sitting in the old cubicles. The new ones are empty.

On my day off yesterday I spent the day familiarising myself with Windows 7 Ultimate again. At the end of the day was the big announcement from Microsoft that the public beta of Office 2010 was available for immediate download. I installed it last night. I have only messed around with it a very little bit but so far I like what I see. Ironically, I’m typing this blog entry on my MacBook Pro which is running Snow Leopard.

Earl is back from his trip to Arizona, having plopped into bed around 1 a.m. Actually it was a swing and a plop, because he had to move the bed to plug in his CPAP and then swing back into position. Then he plopped into bed. Apparently I slept through all of that.

I’m not quite on my game today as far as feeling good health wise. I’m just a little bit off center. I think that’s why my body is craving extra calories and therefore, I continue to plow through my leftovers.

19 November 2009 by J.P. Ponderings and Musings 0

Falling Stars.

This is one my favourite tracks from the 1980s and I have to admit that I have always found Shannon Rubicam kind of hot.

This song has been going through my head for weeks and when I saw it on Joe My God I had to share with the masses.

Here is “Waiting For A Star To Fall” by Boy Meets Girl.

18 November 2009 by J.P. Fun and Games Dept 0

Even Now.

It’s been over 13 years and I still have a hard time on the nights that Earl is traveling. You would think I’d be used to this by now but I’m not. He doesn’t travel nearly as much as he used to, and I am quite grateful for that, but there is a definite emptiness here at The Manor when he’s not here.

I feel good, just incomplete.

Even though tonight is a bachelor night, I opted to skip the popcorn supper and instead loaded Jamie up in the Jeep and took him out to dinner at one of our favorite haunts: Casa Too Mucha. The food was good as always. Patty with the Voom hairspray and Voom hair greeted us heartily; Linda the server was as courteous, pleasant and efficient as ever. Well, almost. She forgot to bring me my seafood bisque. I didn’t say anything until the bill came and it was on there; she took it off the bill and then put the seafood bisque in a take away container. I’m going to have it for lunch tomorrow.

I am off from work tomorrow. It’s going to be a quiet day. I need the rest to fend off what everyone else is feeling but I refuse to acknowledge (that would be the sniffles). I’ll probably catch up e-mail, read a bit and perhaps write some. I write quite a bit that I don’t share on this blog. It would make many people blush.

17 November 2009 by J.P. Ponderings and Musings 1

Privacy.

So last weekend I made my way into Canada during our travels. The border crossing of choice was at the 1000 Islands. This is not uncommon for me.

The 1000 Islands border crossing is not overly busy outside of tourist season and that’s actually one of the reasons I like crossing there. Crossing the border is a game of chance no matter where you’re doing it. Sometimes the customs officer is reasonably nice, other times they’re quite cranky and rarely do you drive away thinking they were actually friendly. The cranky level goes up depending on which direction you’re traveling in. You’re usually welcomed into “The Land of the Free” by very surly people. Heading the other direction makes you feel like the whole experience had a touch of maple syrup sugary sweetness.

As we crossed the bridge from Wellesley Island to Hill Island, I noticed that something was amiss. Everyone was stopping before the Canadian customs station. Trucks with flashing lights were being used to herd all the vehicles into one lane all the way to the left. As we got closer I realised that we were being herded into one of the U.S. Customs lanes and passing through it backwards (since it’s designed for traffic moving in the other direction). There was a whole bunch of U.S. Customs officers inspecting vehicles leaving the U.S.

Um, why?

Now I understand that the customs folks are there to keep the U.S. safe at all points of entry. They look for a whole variety of illegal activities going on. Now that everyone has to have some sort of passport to get back into the states it’s become very, very militaristic. I laugh when I look at some of my old maps from the 60s and 70s which tell how to cross the border easily and efficiently and tout the U.S.-Canadian border as “the easiest border to cross in the world”, because that is hardly the case in this day and age.

I’m sorry, I believe that it’s Canada’s job to inspect people headed into their country. I do not believe that the U.S. should be inspecting my credentials, vehicle, etc. as we are *leaving* the country.

As I pulled up to this impromptu U.S. inspection station our passports were taken and numerous questions were fired off.

“Where are you going?”
“What’s your citizenship?”
“Where do you live?”
“What do you do for a living?”
“How do you know each other?”

Now that last question can be interesting for us. It was our friend dave that was crossing with me this time, and we met dave through online connections. Explaining this is difficult to U.S. border agents because they apparently haven’t heard of the internet yet and they don’t fathom the idea that we have met friends online. The relatively homely woman looked at me askance when I told her that we had met online and had been friends for a few years.

After a few more questions I was told to put the car into park (of course I said, “it’s a stick so I’ll go with neutral”) and several people rifled through the things in the back of my car. I heard murmurs of discussion and bags being rifled through. I smirked. I don’t really care anymore when they go through my bags. I think I’m going to start packing some really shocking underwear or magazines or something to give them something to talk about at their coffee break. I noticed that I didn’t hear the bags zip close before they slammed down the hatch.

A few more questions from the homely woman and off we were a few hundred feet to the Canadian border station, where the pleasant (and pleasantly bearded) official asked where were going, for how long, if we had anything in the car like tobacco, alcohol or firearms and then we were told to have a nice day. Off we were to the 401.

As a tax paying American citizens I have a Really Big Problem with the United States government inspecting me as I LEAVE the United States. I really don’t think it’s any of their business as to when I’m leaving the states. I think they should only care when I coming back into the states, and then I think that they’re inspection process is overly intrusive, laughable and ridiculous. One is assumed to be nearly a criminal these days and I don’t appreciate it at all. I thought things would ease up a little bit when Obama took office in January but no, it’s the same old, same old as when GWB was there.

I don’t know if the 1000 Islands border control is overly zealous or what but that’s the third time that I have had such an intrusive crossing experience. I was thinking that I have a note on a file somewhere but the outgoing U.S. border officers didn’t scan my passport, they just searched and grilled me.

I don’t feel any safer, I don’t feel any comfort and I am certainly not happy being treated like this by my own country, which is supposedly “The Land of the Free”. I felt a great deal of comfort when we were finally in Canada.

To me that’s a little sad.

17 November 2009 by J.P. Why. 2

Freeing.

You have undoubtedly heard that Carrie Prejean, the Miss California USA 2009 titleholder that rocked the gay rights discussions here in the U.S. by sharing her beliefs that “opposite marriage” should be upheld recently dropped a lawsuit against the producers of Miss California USA when a sex video she had made was brought to the public spotlight. Last night she appeared on Larry King and brought the interview to a screeching halt because Larry took a call from a gay caller. She’s a little uptight.

Up until the release of the sex-act video she was the media darling of the right-wing anti-gay marriage folks.

She apparently dropped her lawsuit based on the release of this video where she performs “solo sex act”, in which she is easily identified as the solo performer. Those that considered her a media darling are shocked at her behaviour, for they believe that acts like that are violating the Lord’s Temple aka the human body. They are a little uptight.

Here’s the thing. I am going to preface this by saying that I believe Ms. Prejean is a hypocrite to the Nth degree and those casting stones shouldn’t live in glass houses and all that. But honestly, if Ms. Prejean wanted to make that video for her boyfriend or whatever, she shouldn’t be scorned for making a sex video. She should be scorned for being a hypocrite. Sex is a healthy, natural biological function of the human body and one that happens to be very much enjoyed by 99.5% of the people that engage in it. If it was wrong, it wouldn’t feel so good. Good is not evil. Oh, I will state right here and now that I have no desire to see Ms. Prejean’s video. No siree. But the human body, no matter what it’s doing or what position it’s in, is a pretty incredible thing. Not only is it incredible, but it’s beautiful. It’s a piece of art.

One of the many things that I think my mom did right in raising my sister and me is teach us to be comfortable with our bodies. Fat, short, tall, thin and in any variety of colours, we have what we have and if we’re not happy with it, we should strive to improve it; but we should never be ashamed of who we are, what we look like or how we present ourselves. I’m not a nudist. There are no nudists in my family. But I enjoy being naked and have been to places where I could be naked in public and quite frankly, it’s a liberating experience. Perhaps Ms. Prejean felt liberated by making this video. I don’t think that’s the bad part of this whole scandal, it’s the hypocritical attitude that was brought to light by this video that I think is the bad part of this whole drawn out saga.

Last night I was up rather late. Earl had gone to bed early in preparation for a 6 a.m. flight this morning and Jamie was busying himself elsewhere in the house. As I sat in my studio I realised that one corner of the room might make a good backdrop for a couple of photos. I thought the white cinder blocks with contrasting shadows in the corner would look great. So I set up that camera and readied myself for a couple of self portraits. After a few shots I decided to take one of the photos completely nude. The experience was liberating and I felt more grounded, yet free, than I have in front of a camera in a while. I posted the bare-chested, waist up version on my Flickr account, with no restrictions on visibility. I then posted the full-length nude version on the same account¹ but with some search and content restrictions (it can’t be found through a random search nor will it appear in my Flickr badge) and restricted viewing access to only the people that I have friended. This wasn’t the first time² that I have been nude in front of a camera and shared it with the world. It won’t be the last.

And you know what? I’m kind of proud of that.

¹ I won’t post the photo on my blog so that people have a choice as to whether they want to see it or not. Just ask through e-mail and I’ll give you access.

² The first time was actually back in 1993 when I did a photo shoot with my friend Kevin. The creatively cropped/rated PG version is available here.

12 November 2009 by J.P. Ponderings and Musings Spiritual Stuff. 1

Communication.

I have decided that I am no longer going to be part of this trend in speaking in as few words as possible or using abbreviations just so I can fit my thoughts into 140 characters.

I’m looking at your Twitter and I’m looking at you Facebook.

Since I have been actively “tweeting” (I like it better when it’s referred to as “twatting”, actually) my participation here on my blog has been way down. That’s unfortunate. One of the reasons that I have had a blog since August 2001 is because I like to write. My subjects are random, my thoughts are scattered and my style varies wildly but you know what, this is MY space and I can write what I’m thinking, doing or reminiscing about in as many characters as I want.

There are times that I write the beginnings of something brilliant but in the process I end up writing it in a half baked way and posting it on Facebook or Twitter. You know what? That’s not how I operate. In real life I tend to look at all sides of a situation. I consider every angle. I think things through and I have a habit of over-processing things once in a while. Blurting out a comment on any random topic on Twitter doesn’t do my thoughts justice. I’m more complicated than that. I deserve more than that.

I don’t care about comments. I’m always open to input and I’m very happy to read comments and I’m always open to a healthy debate (though I suck at debating) but I’m not looking to be the most popular on a Facebook feed nor do I get breathlessly giddy if my Flickr pictures get more than 20 hits. I suspect this is part of my loner nature and you know what, it’s who I am. I like who I am and I’m proud of who I am and if I’m not in the cool kids crowd anymore then so what, I never really was anyway.

So I’m taking a break from Twitter and Facebook. The accounts are still open and I’ll comment from time to time, but if you want to know what’s going on in this complicated head of mine, you’ll have to either ask me or read about it here.

Screw MySpace, this is My Space.

11 November 2009 by J.P. Ponderings and Musings 2

J.P.

Display.

Automatic.

Simplicity.

Sunset.

Odd.

Falling Stars.

Even Now.

Privacy.

Freeing.

Communication.

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