Linens. Things.

The local Linens and Things store is closing. This is a bad thing because it’s the closest store to our house in the event of a linens or things emergency. Being gay men we must keep our house well decorated at all times. Linens and Things helps out with this.

Earl and I browsed through the store closing sale items, where the junk from other stores has been shipped here for quick sale. I’m sure the good stuff has been shipped to stores that aren’t closing. Nevertheless, we spent $250 on various items.

Because of our visit to Linens and Things I must admit that I’m overly excited about going to bed tonight. We bought a “pillow top” mattress cover for our bed. I’m hoping this improves conditions in our bed to the point that I can easily drift off to peaceful sleep. Our mattress gets flipped quarterly as we were instructed when we purchased it five years ago. Earl is the bigger of the two of us. Ironically, I have the deeper trench on my side of the bed. I don’t know why this is. We can flip the mattress up, down, left, right, north, south and no matter which way it ends up there I am sleeping in a ditch while Earl relaxes up on the mountain. I don’t know why this is. I’m hoping the new pillow top mattress cover remedies this. It has memory foam embedded into the pad. I don’t plan on drinking any red wine in bed though1.

We also purchased a new pillow for me. I think my current pillow was from 1986. Perhaps it was a graduation present from a relative or something. It was flat like a newspaper but it didn’t leave stains on my skin or anything like that. Now that I have a fluffy pillow again, I can wrap my arms around my old pillow. I have an odd way of sleeping: one leg must be outside the covers, the covers must be up to my shoulders and I bury myself into a little fort like area where I feel protected. Maybe I had an encounter with the boogieman some time in my past.


  1. Although you are using a pillow from 1986, we have amassed a sizable collection of new (and new age) pillows since we met in 1996. These include every natural, homo-pathetic remedy ever hawked on an infomercial or “as seen on TV.” We have cocoa beans, juju beans, feathers, foam, fitted, contoured, and everything in between. I think we even have one from George Foreman that you can cook a burger on – fat free.
    I love you darling, but don’t throw away that old pillow yet… I have a feeling it may end up back on the bed by the end of next week.

  2. They are biting the dust here(Sugar Land, TX) as well. I guess Bed Bath & Beyond was too much for them. I really don’t know how so many stores of the smae nature survive anyway. Linens was first here as I recall but Bed has been aggressive with coupons etc.
    I too have a full range of pillows and prefer my old one. A few years ago I ripped it open and dumped what was nothing but quills(where’d the feathers go)and washed the cover. I sewed the cover a bit smaller giving me the impression it was fluffier.lol I don’t care I still love it.

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