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Nailed.

I’ve been avoiding Dunkin’ Donuts since the whole ridiculous Rachel Ray incident, but Earl and I were feeling a little bit of a sweet tooth this evening, so we whipped through the drive thru of the closest store.

“CanI help ya”? asked the little voice from the little speaker. She did not sound amused. She tacked on some marketing message about an iced coffee that I ignored.

“I’d like two Boston Cream Donuts”, I barked into speaker.

“We don’t have any donuts”, replied the speaker in a somewhat agitated voice. I must have interrupted a break or something.

“You don’t have any donuts at all?”, I asked, perplexed.

(exasperated sigh), “No, Sir” said the tinny, high-fidelity squawkbox.

“There are no donuts at Dunkin’ Donuts”, I confirmed.

“No Sir.”

“Bye!”, was my final, abrupt bellow into the clown’s mouth that was missing the clown.

And with that I sped through the drive-thru like a madman. Am I unreasonable for expecting Dunkin’ Donuts to have donuts? I think not. So no more Dunkin’ Donuts for me. Not now. Not ever.

Oh Tim Horton’s, where are you?

That is all.

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You Can Be A Star.

So I’m putting together a new series of DJ mixes and I’m looking for the assistance of my gentle readers. I need audio files of various people saying: “DJ SuperCub” and “Beat Assimilation” in their sexiest voices. These audio drops will be processed and mixed into my future mixes. I’m thinking the varied accents of my gentle readers will sound AWESOME.

You don’t need to go into a recording studio to do this, just use the microphone on your computer and say “DJ SuperCub” and “Beat Assimilation” in your sexiest voice, save the audio file (format doesn’t matter) and e-mail it to imachias-at-gmail.com.

I’ll list your name (if you wish) with a snippet of how you sound in the mix in a future blog entry as my way of saying thanks.

Update: My first “Beat Assimilation” mix is available on the DJ SuperCub site, just follow this link. I think this is the first time I’ve featured my “Mr. Voice” liner voice on the blog. I’m one of the “whispers the name of the station” radio guys that are popular now.

The Test.

So today is the first the test of my decision to return to work full-time. You see, I am working the “early shift” today and tomorrow, and that involves getting up at 5:30. I am not a morning person.

Tom decided to throw his sense of humour around the bedroom by caterwauling at 5:00 a.m., just in case I decided not to sleep until the alarm went off. He is such a funny guy, I wonder if he is successful on the kitty-cat stand-up circuit.

Getting up before 9 a.m. is a chore for me, getting up at 5:30 without being a grumpy, growling bear is the ultimate test in restraint for me. I’m working through my morning routine backwards just to keep the whole thing interesting and attentive.

I can always sleep at my desk later in the day.