More Pastabilities.

So last night I talked about how I felt that pasta was inherently evil because while it’s quite delicious, it does pack pounds on if you don’t exercise enough to work off those extra carbs. So what did I have for lunch today? Leftover pasta.

The spot on the end of my nose is sauce from actually licking the bowl clean. And you think I’m kidding.

Earl and I have been sort of lax with the healthy eating over the past month or so. We haven’t gone crazy eating tons and tons of food, well, I guess we kind of have, but we’ve been able to keep the weight under control and the gain number divisible by 2. I don’t know if it’s important or not, but at least it keeps the audience guessing.

In addition to my current waltz with pasta, in the past year or so I’ve developed a huge fondness for beer. I’ve been sticking to the “lite” stuff – Michelob Ultra being the swill of choice, but I think any type of beer is going to make one gain a beer gut. It just takes a little more to do so when you’re chugging Michelob Ultra. I have a couple of theories about this, at least where my metabolism is concerned. First of all, we all know whatever is in beer adds more calories to your diet versus drinking a glass of water or iced tea. But here’s the kicker. Because I’m such a lightweight when it comes to beer, I usually eat a boatload of loaded fries or cheeze whiz nachos (with a sour cream chaser) and drink lots of beer (maybe two) before the main entree arrives. Then I drink more beer (maybe one) while I’m eating which promptly causes me to get silly and pass out immediately after eating (if you’re counting, after three beers). On the more fortunate nights I pass out after we’ve left the restaurant so that I’m not left lying on the table with my forehead in my apple pie a la mode. Earl then gets me situated in bed while I tell him how much I love him and then I don’t move for hours clocking in the double digits. This inactivity, added to the extra calories from the beer and the cheese whiz and other artery friendly delights results in extra poundage.

I’ve found the answer to all this. First of all, pasta is relegated to lunchtime and the portion is divided by two. (I really have a theory about this “divisible by two” routine, but I don’t know what it is.) That’s my serious approach to the issue.

I’m also considering drinking beer only while I ride my bike so that I can work off the extra calories. I’m just afraid I may end up face down in some random woman’s marigolds or something.