J.P.

iDid It.

Back in June during the big Apple iPhone hype I said that I wasn’t going to get an iPhone. I found them to be a little too expensive and quite frankly I wasn’t in the mood to stand in line for days for a cell phone. Well then Steve Jobs announced a couple of weeks ago that effective immediately, they were dropping the price by $200. While still a tad on the expensive side, the 8GB model was something that I could handle.

Guess what we bought tonight.

iPhone.

Aside from the fact that my Motorola Razr has not held up well over the past year, I wanted something that I could manage my school deadlines and assignments and whatnot easily with. I’ll admit it, I also wanted to be one of the cool kids on campus. I haven’t seen an iPhone in use yet at school, I’m hoping to be one of the popular trendsetters.

Lunch Mates.

Tom and I had some friends over for lunch today. I like it when friends dropped in unannounced. They didn’t have much to say while they were here and they were seemingly quite content while we hung out in the lawn together.

They come by from time to time. Lately they’ve been visiting quite a bit. Perhaps I’ll throw some seed around tonight after work so they can have a bedtime snack.

They were happy I wasn’t serving turkey sandwiches today.

Turkey

Shoulda. Coulda. Woulda.

When I decided to go back to school back at the end of last year, I met with the adult education (cue Hall and Oates) advisor and mentioned one of my biggest concerns about being a back-to-college adult.

P.E.

I had visions of being a nearly 40-year old man, clad in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, straining to keep up with my 18 and 19-year old peers as they raced through some obscene obstacle course involving push-ups, pull-downs, wrestling and cartwheels. They’d point and laugh and I’d end up being picked last for some game involving a medicine ball.

It’s the stuff nightmares are made of.

When I met with the advisor, she advised me that in lieu of physical education classes, I could take a two credit health class to meet my P.E. requirements. I’m in that health class this semester.

I should have risked the medicine ball.

When I mentioned the collection of depressing students last week, I was referring to many in my Tuesday and Thursday morning health class. I’ll just come out and say it, this is a class of slackers. This is a group of young men and women that have little interest in living a healthy lifestyle. They’re in this class just for the health credit and are willing to go to 8 a.m. class to get through it. They look like the last vegetable they ate was courtesy of Gerber and their physical exercise is limited to their thumbs on their Wii. The teacher is also the men’s soccer coach and he is a lively, excited, motivating, physical fitness type of guy that I enjoy listening to. When he speaks about the benefits of watching your cholesterol, I’m ready to swear off McFood for the rest of my life. When he talks about the rush from aerobics, I’m ready to run a miracle mile.

The rest of the class isn’t so moved.

One of the requirements of the class is two write a one-and-a-half page article review about the health topic of your choice. It’s a piece of cake. I whipped mine out in an hour or two. There’s a few requirements: 1. It must be typed. 2. It must be turned in on the day we’re talking about that topic. 3. You must take a few moments to tell the class a little bit about your article and review. As I said, a piece of cake. Hell, you can even pull something off the web and write about that. I gave a presentation on nutrition last week, becoming quite animated when I told my classmates that the healthiest way to grocery shop is to play “ring-around-the-rosie” and shop around the perimeter because the processed stuff is on the inner aisles.

It’s amazing how many of my fellow students find this assignment to be difficult. During the break today, I overheard future-Woofster (my private little nickname for him) talking to Sniffles (a portly girl that seems to have a constant cold) about his paper. He was concerned because his computer wasn’t working so he had opted to write the paper in longhand, which was against the assignment requirements. Sniffles said, “Yeah, I was having a hard time typing the paper too because my computer was acting gay.”

When I hear something like this I arm myself quickly with witty retorts, because the “acts gay” thing gets on my nerves.

1. “Did chiffon leap out of the monitor?”
2. “Was iTunes stuck on Barbra?”
3. “Did the computer print on it’s screen Lions and tigers and bears oh my?”

Before I was able to inquire as to what made her computer “gay”, she quickly apologized to future-Woofster for using that term. My response was twofold. First of all, she didn’t need to be chastized, she already knows that her phrasing was inappropriate and secondly, future-Woofster bats on my team as he responded, “That’s o.k., I know what you mean.”

Nevertheless, when presentation time came around, future-Woofster had bolted from the classroom five minutes early so he wouldn’t have to give the presentation and risk turning in his paper written in longhand.

‘Tis a pity, I’m sure it would have been an easy A.

Barry Snaps.

This was posted on Barry Manilow’s site yesterday:

A message from Barry…
Hey guys,

I wanted to let you know that I will no longer be on The View tomorrow as scheduled. I had made a request that I be interviewed by Joy, Barbara or Whoopi, but not Elisabeth Hasselback. Unfortunately, the show was not willing to accommodate this simple request so I bowed out.

It’s really too bad because I’ve always been a big supporter of the show, but I cannot compromise my beliefs. The good news is that I will be on a whole slew of other shows promoting the new album so I hope you can catch me on those.

Love,
Barry

I have to admit that I find this quite humorous. How very Alicia of him. I commend him for sticking up for his beliefs.

One could probably tell that I’m not a fan of the pretentious “Elisabeth with an ‘S'”, and I have not watched ‘The View’ since Rosie’s departure.

RIP Brett.

According to her official website, Brett Somers passed on on Saturday, Sept. 15. She was 83 years old.

Best known as a panelist on “Match Game”, Brett had a distinct cackle when she laughed that could be heard in most episodes of the show. She was the perfect comedic foil for Charles Nelson Reilly and the two would have great fun camping it up on the top row. Seen on other shows including The Odd Couple and Battlestar Galatica, she was married to Jack Klugman and while they separated, they never officially divorced. She had an off-Broadway one woman show as recently as two or three years ago.

Rest in peace, Brett.

Brett Somers.

Out In The Park.

Note: I wrote a blog entry about this adventure last night, but for some reason my ISP decided to restore the hard disk the site lives on and they wiped it out, along with several other files I uploaded last night. I apologize if you experience deja vu while reading this.

So yesterday Earl and I joined my high school friend Scott and his partner Mark for “Out In The Park” at Six Flags New England. Here’s a little blurb from the Out In The Park website.

Out In The Park is a Gay Day event organized by a not-for-profit organization. We are a dedicated group of unity-minded people that are interested in creating events that are fun, all-ages, social opportunities for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Intersex and Allies community to Get OUT with their friends and family.

The events that we plan and organize are warm-up events to National Coming Out Day on October 11th. Our first event, Out In The Park, was held on Saturday, September 27, 1997, at what was then known as Riverside Park (now Six Flags New England). The focus of the events we plan and organize, is to foster a sense of pride, dignity and unity among the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, questioning and intersex community and their allies through social and cultural events to promote diversity, visibility, awareness and acceptance throughout the New England region.

First the backstory. Scott and I were the best friends in high school. We went camping together, we went canoeing together, we had the same interests, we even shared a girlfriend (but not in a kinky way, ewwww). Around December 1988 we lost touch with each other. At the True Colors concert in Boston back in June we ran into each other and vowed to stay in touch. Summer schedules are very busy, so this was our weekend to catch up. Here’s a picture of us.

Scott and John

On Saturday night we met up in Hartford (after choosing between Hartford and Springfield, Mass. for a place to spend the night) and went to a place called “City Steam Brewery Cafe”. A brewery and cafe (hence the name), City Steam is a really great place to hang out in Hartford. The food was delicious, my one glass of beer was excellent (all beer is brewed by the owners) and the conversation was great. I highly recommend City Steam.

After dinner we walked and drove around Hartford a bit. We debated going to a movie but ended up at Club Polo, a local drag bar. We left before the show but we had a few drinks and just talked and talked and talked.

Yesterday we went to Six Flags, got our special Out In The Park wristband that got us into the picnic lunch and show if we wanted and then hit the rides.

Mark is a bit of a roller coaster nut, so the first ride up was Superman. I ended up riding in the front seat by myself and while the ride was quite enjoyable, it was the most harrowing of roller coaster rides I had ever been on. I loved it. I felt like I was hovering a little bit when I tried to walk away from the ride.

After Superman we went over to Scream, which is like Disney’s Tower of Terror but outside and facing away from a tower with two other people, so you have the sense of nothing around you. Freefall is fun with friends! Here’s a picture of Mark and I and a young girl that got to hear me scream.

Scream

We then headed over to the picnic grove where there was an Out In The Park picnic lunch. There were a couple of cool things about Out In The Park. First of all, it was an official Six Flags event. Secondly, because of the traveling to bear events, Hillside, etc. that Earl and I tend to do, we ran into quite a few people that we’ve met along our adventures. This prompted Scott to comment that we get around. Well!

I tried to take my first self-snapped photo of four, but it didn’t work out so well.

Close.

So a nice man offered to take a photo of us near the fountain at the picnic grove.

Fountain.

After the lunch we went back to the rides. After an extremely bumpy ride on one of the wooden roller coasters, Mark found the ride we wanted to do. I had noticed this ride earlier in the day, which looked like a giant spatula with too ends that someone would flip end over end in the air. I called it “The Spatula” or “The Fly Swatter”. Turns out its called The Catapault. Mark wanted to ride so we sent him on his way, in which he reminded me that he rode Scream, so I should go. So off I went.

“The Catapault” has eight rows of six on a platform. There’s two platforms at each of the long arm. When everyone is strapped in and restrained so tightly that bladders are starting to leak, they raise the arm up 50 or so feet and then spin it around like a baton at 30MPH. Our side went forward first. Then it stopped and we went backward while the others went forward first. During the pause between the two spins, Mark told me that he tends to pass out on rides like this. Luckily, he didn’t. I thought I might from my bladder being squeezed but everything held itself together.

To be honest, “The Catapault” didn’t bother me at all. I thought it was a thrilling ride and I would ride it again in a second. I’m not sure about Mark though. Here’s a picture Earl snapped when we got off the ride, I think Mark is faking the smile.

Catapault.

I loved the Out In The Park experience. It was great to see all types of gays and lesbians (bears, circuit boys, lesbians and their families, etc) mingling with the regular Six Flags crowd. Everyone was having a good time and there were no open signs of hostility.

It was also great to get together with Scott and catch up on old times and reignite our friendship. We’re not going to lose touch with each other again. It looks like we have another reason to visit Boston!

Hartford, Connecticut.

Earl and I are parked in Hartford, Conn. for the evening. We are meeting up with my one of my best friends from high school, Scott, and his partner Mark. Tonight we are going out for dinner and drinks and then tomorrow we are going to “Out In The Park” at Six Flags in Agawam.

Aside from bumping into each other at the True Colors concert in Boston back in June, Scott and I have not seen each other since December 1988. It’s going to be wicked cool catching up on what’s transpired over the past 19 years or so.

It’s time to go get prettied up.

My Identity.

Earl and I are sitting at our local Panera surfing the internet face to face over a couple of pastries and iced tea. Our internet connection at home has been down all day, preventing us from making phone calls (our phone goes over the internet), preventing me from completing my online course work without an extra visit to the campus (to borrow some wi-fi from the library) and keeping me from blogging and more importantly, stifling my daily pr0n intake.

It’s surprising what one can accomplish when there’s no internet in the house. I didn’t vacuum though, let’s not get crazy, the dust bunnies aren’t barking yet.

Today was my first major exam in that math class with Professor Frightful and his group of friends that live behind the blackboard. He provided us with a practice test yesterday, which I completed last night and did surprisingly well. I’m glad I took the time to do that because the practice test was nothing like the actual test. The practice test was a little skim of the material, the real test got down and dirty and surprisingly harder than I thought it would be. Still, I feel cocky and confident and I think I did well. That probably means I failed.

I decided to take a different approach to exams this semester over last semester’s approach. First of all, I’m going to continue to study and make use of the preparation aids (sounds like I have butt problems) that students are provided. However, every book you read about how to be a successful students decrees that you should take your time and review all your answers before submitting the exam. Take all the time that’s available to you. Unfortunately, that’s not how my brain works. I work in hyperdrive and if I don’t know it right away it’s not worth knowing so I’ll work at my own hyperpace, review as I go along and then submit my test when I’m done, without going through a secondary check. My testing stumbles last semester were because I second guessed my original answers when they were right. I’m not taking that risk twice.

Keeping in line with this “I Did It My Way” theme, I’ve decided that if that several of my fellow students can go out of their way to be depressed then I can go out of my way to embrace my personality and be as chipper as I really feel. If I see you and I know you, I’m going to wave at you and perhaps even say hello or stop for a moment to talk to you. I won’t mind if you run in the other direction, it won’t deter me. “Oh God, here he comes again!”

I’ve always had this notion that I have to blend in with the crowd. As I grow older I discover that the notion of doing that is utter bullshit. Each and every person should embrace who and what they are and celebrate it. If people don’t like it, well then screw them. I think I learned that from my mother. Back when I was growing up she was rather outspoken and was always just herself. It’s a trait to be admired. I guess in the world of “J.P. and Earl”, I’m “Dharma”.

After my exam was completed, I decided to jam in the car and make a video in the process. There’s probably a dead singer spinning in his grave after hearing me sing today, but I don’t care. I wasn’t trying to be showy, I was having fun.

[MEDIA=26]

identity.

One of the things that I’m noticing about this bumper crop of freshman at school this year is that they seem to be depressed. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a hyper chatty Cathy at times or what, but I find it a little melancholy that many students choose to walk the campus completely zoned out and tuned into their iPods, with a frown or maybe even a depressing look on their face.

What gives?

Now I’m obviously a music lover. I’ll belt out show tunes, I’ll crank up dance tunes, I’ll airband with some rock and I’ll even sing along with Karen Carpenter and I am eternally grateful that I can carry my entire music collection on this little marvel of technology, but I don’t feel the need to listen to it 24/7. There’s too much out there to enjoy! I enjoy walking through the walls and seeing my fellow students of all ages. I wave hello to those I recognize from previous semesters, I hang with the guys in the hall and collectively we bitch about Professor Weird in Math 121 (I think the class is close to a mutiny, but that’s a blog entry in itself. I am bringing my camera along regularly though, just in case I get the opportunity to sneak a movie for the blog.) But there are so many that look down, iPods in place and just stumble along. The sun could be shining, the sky crystal blue and the changing of the leaves breathtaking, but they don’t notice.

I find that depressing.

I hope this isn’t the way of the up and coming generation.

I’m a geek to the bone and I’m proud of it. But c’mon, there’s a time and place for technology, and sometimes, you just have to get out there and enjoy life, no strings attached.

Literature.

Demu Trilogy

Last night I finished a science fiction novel called “The Demu Trilogy”. Originally three stories entitled “Cage A Man”, “The Proud Enemy” and “End Of The Line”, it was written by F.M. Busby. With last night’s completion it is the 36th time I’ve read the book from beginning to end.

Some might find this odd.

I discovered this book when I was 12. It was buried in a box of books from my Uncle Pete, sandwiched between two copies of “Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask”. (I’ve wondered why Aunt Bea and Uncle Pete had two copies of that book, but I was afraid to ask). It had apparently been passed over at a garage sale and was subsequently shoved into this box, along with a bunch of other science fiction books and the aforementioned sex books. The sex books weren’t that informative. I had questions that others would be afraid to answer.

One would think that reading a book for the 36th time would be a chore in monotony but believe it or not, with each reading I find nuances that I haven’t noticed before. I see symbolism that I hadn’t realized in the past 27 years. As a child, my interpretation of the images painted by Busby were, well, child-like. As an adult, I’ve noticed more and more depth to the passages with each subsequent reading.

The basic story goes somewhat like this. Barton, the lead character, is abducted by an alien race called the Demu. The Demu believe that they are the only true people in the universe, all other races are animals. When a non-Demu learns their language, this confuses them as only Demu should be smart enough to speak Demu. So they do their best to make the “animal” look Demu through some pretty rough cosmetic surgery. By the way, the Demu are exoskeletal and like “intelligent shellfish”, much like humans evolved from apes. Barton escapes, leverages his way back to Earth, along with a woman from another humanoid race, the Tilari. I really like the Tilari. Their differences from humans (lack of STDs, conscious control of ovulation, among many other things) make for some very interesting relationships. Earth joins up with Tilara (by the way, we’re called Earthani, not Earthlings, which I find cool) and they go after the Demu, which turns out is just a small part of a big puzzle. I won’t go into further detail, but it’s a great read for any science fiction buff.

It’s amazing how some of the small details of this novel have contributed to the molding of my libertarian beliefs. Sometimes I wish my English Literature professor would just say “write a thematic paper on your favorite novel.” I’d have a field day with that assignment.