January 2019

Walls.

Photo courtesy of Fanpop.

So yesterday I had a little rant on Facebook about “The Wall”. Now, if you’ve been paying attention to anything in the United States since Flaming Cheeto starting running for office back in 2016, you’ll know what I’m talking about. It’s the big, beautiful, impenetrable wall that he’s been blowing hard about since his first campaign speech. You know, this wonderful wall that Mexico will pay for? The one that Mexico will pay for so we can keep the Mexicans out of the United States, because after all, God Wants Borders.

This ridiculous idea is stupid. The majority of Americans know this wall is stupid but the stupid people have learned how to share their opinions online and thereby have a voice so now we have to reduce our country to the absolute, lowest common denominator of human existence.

Flaming Cheeto wants $5 billion dollars to pay for this wall before he’ll sign a bill to end this government shutdown. It’s not really a government shutdown, because elected officials are still getting paid and protected by the Secret Service, Pumpkin Spice Mushroom Man still has aides and cooks and assistants, but “essential personnel” are expected to arrive at work and do a diligent job even though they have no idea when they’re getting their next paycheck.

Personally, I’d be looking for a new gig.

Back in the late 1990s I was able to find a photo of our cat Tom sitting in the driveway of our home online. This photo was taken from a satellite orbiting the Earth literally hundreds of miles in space. This was in the late 20th century. With all the advancement in technology in the 19 years since then, you’re telling me that we have to spend billions of dollars to build a concrete or steel physical barrier along 2,000 miles of a shared border with Mexico to keep folks out of the country?

Ladders? Tunnels? Airplanes? Boats? Anyone? How do you build a wall down the middle of a river?

The truth of the matter is, we have the technology to adequately patrol the border without building an actual wall. There’s no wall around Area 51, but I bet if I were to drive to Nevada and set foot onto the restricted area without permission I would be greeted by scary looking officials in less than five minutes. They would know that I’ve crossed into Area 51, they would greet me quickly, and I would be vacuumed off the face of the Earth for an indeterminate amount of time until I had been thoroughly questioned, detained, and if some porn videos are accurate, we all had a grand time with funky music in the background.

We don’t need a wall. We need border security funding. We need better immigration centers along the border. We need education. We need to fund proper staffing levels to process the requests for folks looking to find a better life in what we laughing call “The Greatest Country on Earth”.

$5 billion dollars is not chump change. There’s a lot of things we could do with $5 billion dollars. I tried to get this point across on Facebook yesterday, and I believe I did, but I also believe there’s a slim chance I’ll be invited to a reunion for that side of the family anytime soon.

The crisis that the Flea Dipped Orange One talks about is manufactured. There is no crisis. There is hysterics. That’s what sells, right? Hysterics. People like to clutch their pearls and fear that which is different from what they know. When someone challenges that only certain people have a right to live in the U.S.A. I ask the challenger what they did to become an American. I occasionally get a blank stare. They can’t comprehend the difference.

I’m all for improving immigration and securing our borders. But we absolutely do not need a physical wall to achieve that goal. The money could be spent for better technology, education, and controlled access.

Stop living in the Dark Ages.

9 January 2019 by Why. 0

Cat.

This is one of my two niece cats. My mother calls her “Sissy”, according to my sister and my nephew, her official name is “Skippy June Jones”. She’s a bit of a hellraiser. I met her for the first time last month and quite honestly, some days we just need a cute cat photo, right?

I mean, I could write about the state of the country but I think I’m better off with a cat photo tonight. So please, enjoy this photo of Sissy with me.

7 January 2019 by Ponderings and Musings 0

Connecting.

So I had a thought regarding today’s technology and what “real” communication is. I was thinking, when the telephone and telegraph were coming to fruition back in the 1800-whatever, did a segment of society have some sort of hissy fit about it? Were there people saying, “If Mrs. Alabaster was really my friend, she’d taken the time to come out here and drop a card instead of calling me on this new doo-dad.”

Perhaps this is the way I should be looking at our new communication tools like Facebook and Twitter today.

Now, I know that Facebook and Twitter and every other communication network we have today monitors what’s said, who we’re saying it to, when we’re saying it, and where it’s being said. Technology has advanced in, my opinion, an unfortunate direction in this area, however, how different is this than the operators listening in on every long-distance phone call back in the day? Of course, the operators weren’t making money but I’m sure they were sharing your data in the form of gossip, especially if you lived in a small town.

Let’s face it, the majority of people you want to communicate with are probably on Facebook, Twitter, and/or one of the other popular social media platforms. Instead of burning down the house, maybe we should fight to make these platforms as safe and productive as possible.

By striving to make these platforms a more secure, friendly, and truthful experience for all, perhaps we can all really make the world a better connected place.

6 January 2019 by Fun and Games Dept Ponderings and Musings 0

Length.

I purchased two items at CVS today. You’ll see the receipt in the photo above.

Many, many years ago I wrote point of sale programs. At the time, when popping out a receipt, one of the goals was to conserve paper, as there was a time expense involved with changing receipt tape and there was also the expense of the actual paper. Programming guidance manuals advised, “print the header of the next customer’s receipt during the current transaction. This will eject receipt paper without using up blank space.”

Today’s modern point of sale programs spit out feet of paper for marketing purposes. I’ve turned off the “print my receipt” options in the app. I’ve modified my preferences on the marketing website, but here we are, still receiving over a yard of paper for the purchase of two items.

Is our technology really evolving in the proper direction?

Next time I go to our local CVS I’m going to shop anonymously to see how long the receipt is.

6 January 2019 by Why. 0

MegaLand.

Tonight’s family game night included two rounds of MegaLand. It was our first time playing this game and we liked it very much. We look forward to playing it again soon.

5 January 2019 by Fun and Games Dept 0

Late.

It’s just after 1:00 a.m. in Chicago and I’m sitting here playing around on the computer. More specifically I’m playing with an old, beat-up Lenovo ThinkPad T410 running Debian Linux. I don’t know the age of this computer but it still runs like a charm.

You’d think after being a geek all day at work I wouldn’t have any interest in being a geek until all hours of the night, but here we are. This is when I exercise my skillz (snazzy ‘z’ there) and explore new things on old computers. Honestly, I love my MacBook Pro from 2015 but frankly it’s boring. I know what it’s going to do, I know how it’s going to do it, and it’s been doing it the same way for years. Messing around in Linux is always an adventure, and when I can keep the computer running as expected for more than one hour after tinkering, I consider the evening a success.

I’m just realizing that it’s Friday night and I’m acting like being up at 1:00 a.m. means it’s wicked late. I used to DJ until 3:00 a.m. a little over a decade ago, but then again a little over a decade ago I was still in my 30s.

I might not have as much pep as I used to but I’m still filled to the brim with geek.

5 January 2019 by Geek 0

Mantelligence.

I Googled the various ways one can order a martini and I was led to a website called “Mantelligence”. The title of the article in question was, “How to order a martini like a man”.

I found the article very helpful. Unfortunately, I don’t know if I’m suppose to appreciate the information that was shared or horrified because of the gender bias in the name of the website and subsequent article.

The Age of Outrage is so very confusing.

Honestly, I’m happy I found the article and I look forward to reading more of this website at my next opportunity.

I guess I left my clutching pearls at home.

4 January 2019 by Ponderings and Musings 0

Seriously.

When did I become so serious? I read my blog entries from 10 years ago and back then I wrote like the gay, male Erma Bombeck. Hell, if I thought it would get a laugh I’d throw on a wig and a dress and start in with a Dayton, Ohio accent. I’d sound like Emma Thompson on “Ellen”.

But Earl and I are sitting here watching “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (we’re still on season one, so no spoilers) and the fact of the matter is, I’ve become dreadfully serious. And in becoming dreadfully serious I’ve become withdrawn. Granted, I was rated an INFJ not too long ago, I do like my time alone to recharge, but I’ve always been able to fake something beginning with an “E”, at least for a little while. I go out, chat up a storm like I’m some sort of comedian, and then I get home and spend some time alone looking at porn on the computer in the middle of the night, because after all, that’s why the smart ones made the Internet, for porn.

Looking through my old blog entries I realize that my hilarity (that’s quite an air of grandiosity I have there) stated to fade a bit when George W. Bush was President. After 9/11, I felt like I should be more invested in the state of the country, hell the whole world, so I started paying attention to what was going on in the news and I got all serious about it. Then someone told me I wasn’t militant enough as a gay man. I should stop eating Chick-Fil-A and I should become indignant when someone does something I probably haven’t even noticed, but everyone else in “the community” clutches their pearls and makes a gasping noise. I know, we’re suppose to do things for each other as members of the LGBTQQI (did I get it all?) community, but the fact of the matter is, I’m a really bad gay man. Getting back to the porn thing, I don’t like things in my pooper, I don’t really like playing with other poopers, and I don’t really feel any sort of thrill watching two guys play with poopers. I think Barbra Streisand seems talented but her songs don’t really take my breath away, the only thing I feel is a sinus headache when Mariah Carey makes that whistling sound, and I sure as shit can’t stand it when Christina Aguilera is trilling and yodeling the word “yeah” all over a simple melody that my 8th grade chorus could sing back in 1982.

I like the cows and I like waffle fries and I like Polynesian sauce and I’m seriously not going to feel guilty if I indulge in these things once in a while.

Things really changed when my Dad died. This is the part of the blog entry where it gets heavy. After that happened I felt like it was time for me to grow up and be more responsible, invest in the world in around me, and do what I can to take care of my family. And that’s what I’ve been doing since 2011, doing my best to be serious about taking care of my family. I take care of my husband, and I take care of our “Cub”, and now I do my best to take care of our Cub’s fiancé. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this, but I don’t know that I have to lose my sense of humor to do this.

The other thing that’s really taken the wind out of my funny bone is the election of this stupid, ignorant, piece of trash of a human being currently in the Oval Office. Seeing who supports such a horrible person, regardless of what he does, has quite frankly scared me. I’ve always known that there are stupid people in the world, it’s just that I didn’t know there were so many of them and that so many of them were so close to my inner circle. Trumpians like to say that we’re angry that “we lost”. First of all, I’m not as leftist on some things as one would think. Second of all, I don’t believe the country should be made up of teams. Thirdly, the last I knew we were calling ourselves “The United States of America” but there’s hardly anything ‘united’ about us anymore. And it’s these realizations that make me feel very serious. But how am I changing the world by losing my sense of humor?

The truth is, I’m not.

This afternoon when Flaming Cheeto appeared at a Press Briefing, surrounded by bald men, proclaiming the grave situation about the southern border, I couldn’t help but laugh.

I made several snarky comments on Twitter about how I wasn’t going to shave my head anymore because I didn’t want to be perceived as one of “those guys”. I also commented how the one on Trump’s right looked quite sad because he was upset that the others had shaved his head right before he went out into the Press Room. I mocked Lord Orange Whippy Whip over his unbelievably shitty tan and honestly, I screeched at CNN for giving this guy even two minutes of air time so he could broadcast another publicity stunt obviously designed to steal thunder from Nancy Pelosi returning to House Majority Speaker and the swearing in of an incredibly diverse House of Representatives.

You know what’s funny? That people actually take this Day-Glo Flea Dipped Asshole seriously. You know what’s not funny, and quite frankly, incredibly horrifying?

That people still take this Day-Glo Flea Dipped Asshole seriously.

I’m sad that I can’t ask my Dad what he thinks about today’s Republican Party. My dad and I talked about politics once, and that’s when he told me I should register as a Republican so I could get somewhere in business in Upstate New York. (I was planning to register as an Independent). He ran his hand across the “R” levers in the voting booth without hesitation. But in my heart of hearts I can’t believe that my father support would support what the GOP has become today. Maybe it’s wishful thinking of a 50-year old kid at heart reminiscing about his dead dad.

Wow, so somber again.

I guess I find it hard to laugh when I’m worried about the state of the country. There’s a funny grandma in Alamance County in North Carolina who doesn’t cuss in public like I do. Her name is Jeanne Robertson and she tells everyone at every one of her speeches, “find the humor in every situation”.

I need to do more of that again. Long live the name Day-Glo, Flea Dipped Asshole.

3 January 2019 by Fun and Games Dept Ponderings and Musings 0

About J.P.

Just a guy with a husband. We’ve been together 28 years and he still makes me see fireworks on a daily basis. Hiker. Storm Chaser. Private Pilot. Tech Guy. Hackerish.

Weird? Eccentric!

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