Dearest Power Almighty,
Please grant me the strength to not beat the hell out of anyone that refers to any amount of snow, whether small or large, as a “snowpacalypse” this winter. While I will have the urge to shove a the handle of a snow shovel up the rectum of those that behave thusly and utter this entirely hysterical, offensive phrase, please grant me the strength to findeth my way to calm in an effort to avoid calamity.
Fondly,
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