September 2011

14.

I am sitting in the Jeep at lunchtime, like I do most everyday. The one thing that I don’t do everyday while sitting in my Jeep a lunchtime is shed a few tears. But that is what I am doing right now.

Jamey Rodemeyer was a 14-year old teen living in Buffalo. As a gay teen, Jamey was bullied for his sexual orientation. He was called the usual onslaught of names and received the horrific threats and the like from the ignorant. So much ignorance in the “greatest country on the planet”. As much as we claim things are progressing in these fine United States of America, we have barely taken only one small step forward. I truly believe that historians will call these times the second Dark Ages. Ignorance is at an all time high.

Earlier this year, Jamey shared an “It Gets Better” video on YouTube. Like many of his generation, he maintained a blog. And on Sunday, his last blog entry was a mention that he was looking forward to seeing his grandmother that passed on. He then committed suicide.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. The thought that a young man, hell, a _child_ killed himself, ended his life, because of the bullying he got as a result of his sexual orientation is mind boggling to me. The taunts and threats and name calling because he is different got to him. What has our society become? So the folks that wrote these comments on his blog …

JAMIE IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND UGLY. HE MUST DIE!

And

I wouldn’t care if you died. No one would. So just do it 🙂 It would make everyone WAY more happier!

… I hope they feel better now that they got their wish. Because your words ended a life and destroyed a family. I hope his family is strong.

When I see people going out of their way to prevent gay marriage, saying that it’s wrong or people picking on another simply because they’re different, I wonder if these folks realise what impact they are having on their targeted individual. We may smile on the outside or shrug it off as the “usual banter” but it can go much deeper than that. Folks start believing what they’re told. A young person that is still formulating who and what he is could very well take these comments as guidance. So while Michelle Bachmann makes jokes on Leno about thinking that the gay “rehabilitative” program that she’s concocted with her husband was to target those that were GRAY (Google the video and you’ll see very few people chuckled at the chestnut of humor), innocent gay youth see these things and determine that they are defective in some way and would be better off dead. They begin to buy into the hype and decide to do something drastic.

I could do “It Gets Better” videos all day long but if the right person doesn’t see it, it’s one person that could make a drastic, fatal decision. (Don’t get me wrong, the “It Gets Better” campaign is brilliant and very much worthwhile and very important, but we need to make it LOUDER.)

Jamey’s mom works for one of Earl’s customers in Buffalo. Our paths will probably never cross hers, but if it did I would give her a big hug. And I would tell her that I’m sorry, I’m sorry that the world is the way it is.

He was only 14 years old. And now he’s dead. Simply because he was different. Rest in peace, Jamey.

21 September 2011 by Why. 0

Tell.

As I’m sure you have heard on the news today, at 12:01 a.m. this morning the military officially ended their policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. I believe this policy was enforced for 18 years. As mentioned on other blogs in the blogosphere, one must note that since the repeal of this policy there has been no hints of an armageddon-like event, nor has there been an angry tornado, hurricane, earthquake or monsoon indicating that God is not pleased with this. We can assume that the lack of a response from the sky means that he is happy.

Well he should be.

Back in my senior year of high school I very briefly considered joining the military but then decided that I would get the shit beat out of me if I ever did make it even as far as basic training. I never shared this revelation with anyone, well, I told one person and they looked at me unbelievably. I did good on the tests that they give you to see where you would be an asset for Uncle Sam; unsurprisingly I did well in technology. I’m a geek like that. Part of my consideration for joining the military addressed the inevitably being asked about being gay. I believe before “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” they used to ask you outright if you have ever had sexual relations with a person of the same sex. At that point in my life I could have technically answered in the negative on that, but in reality I knew that I really wanted to. Though, admittedly I did not want to pursue this while in the military, simply because I couldn’t figure out how the mechanics of same sex sexual relations would work in a room filled with a large number of guys would work without getting caught and then I would end up discharged anyways, probably being beat up on my way out. Ultimately I would have been lying when they asked me and I figured if you were to become a soldier, you were meant to be honorable, and starting that path in your life shouldn’t start with a lie. Lie is dishonorable. So I dropped it.

This line of thinking continued into my career choice. I went to college the first time to become a music teacher. However, I had no interest in teaching in a big school. I didn’t want to live in a city, I wanted to teach in a smaller school district that was much like the one I graduated from. My first versions of gaydar picked up on teachers that were gay and they either lived far away (and drove through lots of snow storms to get to work) or they lived their life in the closet. Well this didn’t seem right to me. It was midway through my first year of college that I figured all this out and that I couldn’t be an openly gay man and teach at a smaller school district at the same time. The public wasn’t ready for that yet and I wasn’t sure that I was ready for the challenge that that would bring. So I decided to give that up. My interest in the whole thing had wained a bit anyway. Though television proclaims to the contrary and some sheltered folks believe that you can be gay anywhere without ramification, I guess I’m still old school enough to live on the side of caution a bit. I’m not sure that I could even get away with being an openly gay music teacher today in a small school district. I’ve heard stories of gay teachers and administrators being dismissed on somewhat trumped up terms as recently as two years ago. “We don’t want that kind in our schools around our children.” It’s sad when a year ago that person was voted teacher of the year.

So while I am very happy that there can now be openly gay soldiers in our military today, I’m hoping that while they celebrate (which they have every right to do), that they’re concentrating more on why they joined the military instead of just being gay. I can’t wait until being gay is no big deal for a vast majority instead of a slim majority of people. Hopefully society will calm down a bit.

And I’m am 1 1/2 years too old to even consider joining the military today. But at least now I could be honest about it.

– I am crossing my fingers and praying to the digital mecca that this has been a successful instance of using BlogPress from my iPad

20 September 2011 by Fun and Games Dept 1

Glass.

I tend to become slightly obsessed about little things. For example, I used to work with a woman who put a period at the end of her signature. She’d sign her name and then plop a dot at the end of it. Since we all had to sign the same logs day after day, I’d see her signature there with that annoying plop of punctuation at the end of it. It drove me crazy. I pointed out to her that her name is not a sentence. She told me I was right and she would change her way.

She started signing the log with just her initials, even though it said “Full Name” at the top of the column. The plop of a period remained.

I ended up quitting that job for something better: a place without rampant abuse of punctuation.

I can be a little obsessive.

McDonalds is running a promotion in where you get a free Coke glass when you buy a large value meal. The glasses come in green, blue, purple, brown and clear. I love these glasses because they have some heft to them and I like the way they feel in my hand. Now they’re not as good as the lead painted glasses we got back in the 70s from Carrols, those glasses you could literally die for if you licked them hard enough but how they’ve become collector’s items.

I don’t know that the McDonalds glasses will become collector’s items but I’m determined to stock our cupboard with at least two of each color variation. Always trying to find a better body, I have been avoiding large value meals, or value meals of any type for that matter, but I scarfed one down on Saturday night and scored a glass. I was rewarded with my first purple one.

On Sunday we stopped at a McDonalds for a quick drink. I asked the person at the counter if I could just buy a glass and she answered in the affirmative. But they were out of clear ones (the only one I really needed), so I added another blue glass to the collection.

Today I stopped at the McDonalds near work for my lunchtime iced tea and an absolutely horrible thing happened. They are not participating in this Coca-Cola glass promotion.

I almost jumped up on the counter and started screaming like a wild man. Here I was, buried in a line of people that seem shocked when given the total of their order to the point that they’re overwhelmed by the concept of having their money out of their pocket ahead of time and there is no promised glass at the end of monotony of this ordering process. What the hell is wrong with these people? Do they not watch their own, never ending commercials on television? Do they not realize that not only will I soon have a complete set of glasses for a dinner party of 16? Do they not understand that these glasses look good in all situations, whether in a formal dining room or in the room at the ass end of a mobile home?

I was going to say something snappy and witty to the disinterested counter person but I decided not to and instead of I gave the change she threw at me to the Ronald McDonald House fund.

Instead I just glared at her.

19 September 2011 by Fun and Games Dept Ponderings and Musings 0

Respite.

So it is Friday afternoon and I am looking forward to the weekend. There are plans involving road trips and frivolity, but my body is apparently thinking differently. I am feeling some signs of impending bed rest and sneezing. I should be in Vitamin C shock by now with all of the juice and fruit and vitamin C tablets and Airborne. Better now instead of the weekend of the wedding I suppose.

Let’s see which set of plans for the weekend come to fruition.

16 September 2011 by Why. 2

Silly.

In an attempt be happy that I was up and the ungodly hour of 6:15 this morning, I made a silly remark to Earl. He laughed a bit as I told him what I thought my porn name should be. I’ve slightly modified the porn name in my head since I told him this morning; I will provide him with the updated nomenclature this evening.

I have decided not to share this name with others until I make sure that it’s available and has Twitter availability and the like, but it will be nice to no longer be known as Hogtied Cop In Trunk. What a relief.

It is at this point of the narrative where I share a common phrase heard in our home.

“Brown chick-a brown cow.”

15 September 2011 by Gayish. 1

Paradigms.

The QWERTY keyboard we all know and love as it allows us to communicate with our computer was designed to slow you down in typing speed. Did you know that? The reason the QWERTY keyboard is laid out the way it is is so that you don’t find an occasion to type letters that are next to each other very often and that you have to reach around a bit to type commonly used words. Using this design prevented early typewriters from jamming their strike bars as a result of speedy typing. The need for this keyboard arrangement is long gone, yet we continue to teach people this antiquated keyboard layout instead of adopting something new, like the Dvorak keyboard. I don’t have the nerve to try Dvorak keyboard as I’m probably one of the fastest typists you’ll ever meet (and I say that with the utmost confidence), but I hear that if I was able to learn the alternate keyboard I could be even a faster typist. My 43-year old brain has been using the same muscle memory for typing since I was 7. It’s the old dog, new tricks thing.

Imagine what the world would be like today if we had the courage to try new things. Perhaps we could more than two realistic (and I use that term loosely) choices for President of the United States. Perhaps we could elect a leader based on their merits instead of how much money they funneled into a campaign to be the brightest and shiniest.

If we took a leap out of our safety nets or a step outside of our comfort zones, we might find the courage to say “hello” to that stranger on the street looks like they’re having a bad day. Maybe I’d discover that I don’t mind eating eggs. Perhaps life wouldn’t feel so boring as we strive to grow by doing the same thing over and over again. It’s like leaping out of an airplane: trust the parachute and enjoying flying like a bird. You’ll eventually be grounded again.

At age 20, when I sat down at my first staff meeting as a brand-new employee of the second largest computer company in the world, I was told that we needed to shift the paradigm of computing. We needed to approach everything from a different angle. We needed to step back from our green screens and introduce users to a world outside of typing commands at a command prompt. Our job was to help people connect through voice, video and data. It was then that I was first introduced to the phrase “paradigm shift”. That meeting meant a lot to me both professionally and personally. The lessons live within me today.

I never thought I would see the day that I would be able to marry the love of my life. I never thought that my watch would be more powerful than the first computer I used. I never thought I would enjoy the off-key singing of Journey tunes coming from the car currently parked next to me in the parking lot. But I love all of it.

Opening your eyes, looking for a different angle and smiling through it all. Now that’s a concept I can get into.

14 September 2011 by Ponderings and Musings 2

Waterline.

Things are finally drying out after the two rounds of flooding we’ve had courtesy of Irene and Lee. Our backyard is still quite squishy; there’s no way we can put a ladder up right now to fill one of the bird feeders because it would just sink right down into the lawn. Safety and all that.

During a geek-inspired ride yesterday (to see some new road signs awaiting delivery at a local sign manufacturing facility), I pulled over and took a picture of the trees along one of the roads that was heavily flooded. This particular area is notorious for flooding in even typical spring conditions so I wasn’t surprised to see the height of the flood water line, which looked to be about four feet above the road surface.

I find it ironic that this particular piece of land has a real estate sign on it, advertising it’s availability for residential or commercial development. The sign is relatively new. I imagine that interest in using this land for this purpose is rather low, buildings up on stilts are not all that common in these parts, even on land that is situated between the Mohawk River and the Barge Canal.

I hope the land doesn’t get developed simply because the animals might like to play along the shores of the water too.

12 September 2011 by Ponderings and Musings 0

About J.P.

Just a guy with a husband. We’ve been together 28 years and he still makes me see fireworks on a daily basis. Hiker. Storm Chaser. Private Pilot. Tech Guy. Hackerish.

Weird? Eccentric!

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