Oh That’s Real.

I don’t know why we call a certain genre of television “reality television”. Who in their right mind thinks that what they see on a reality tv show is real? Are there people out there that really think that network X scooped Joe Citizen off the street to make him star? Please.

I was folding laundry and turned on TV Land hoping to catch an episode of something classic: “The Munsters”, “Leave It To Beaver”, “I Dream of Jeannie”, something nostalgic. Apparently TV Land has shucked the whole nostalgia angle because now they’re showing “She’s Got The Look”, a reality tv show aimed at making women over 35 into models. They scooped them right off the street.

Yeah, right.

As I tuned into the middle of tonight’s episode, a very angry barely-female looking woman was ranting and raving about not being understood. She had a lot to say about stereotypes and how the world is superficial and no one gets her. It would have been somewhat interesting and mildly amusing if I hadn’t seen it LAST year when she gave the SAME speech dressed up some superhero, I think it was “The Shrill”, on “Who Wants To Be A Superhero?” And yet we see another duplicated real person on a reality tv show. Remember that Man-Beast Toni who was on “Love Cruise” and then “Paradise Hotel”? You know, that ugly chick on steroids with the bugged-out eyes1. She made her rounds on the reality TV shows and now she’s gone.

We can only hope that Paula, a.k.a. “The Shrill” meets the same fate.

And while I’m ragging on TV Land and their as of late idiotic programming, I know that I have mentioned how much I dislike the ads for medicine on television before. I don’t know what the latest miracle drug was for (maybe it was another one to make taking a dump more comfortable) but one of the listed side effects was an “irritated pancreas”. “If you have an irritated pancreas you should consult your physician.” What the hell does an irritated pancreas feel like? I’m not even sure I could point to where my pancreas is. I’m pretty sure it’s in the torso. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone in a grocery store say, “I should eat more brussel sprouts to help my irritated pancreas.”

And while I’m having a fit about these stupid drug commercials, for the love of all that is worthy would someone please pull those damned medical ads from the movie theatre chain preview shows? I have yet to see someone abandon their popcorn and intended movie to run out and have an MRI. “My GOD I haven’t had an MRI in years! I must leave!” Or those varicose vein ads – “Someone please get rid of these varicose veins right now!” It’s disgusting and detracts from the enjoyment of popcorn, M&Ms and Raisinettes.

Thank you.

1 Wow, I’m a little harsh tonight!