Gleek?

As a card carrying homosexual, it is my community duty to watch the hysteria of a show known as “Glee”. Not only does sitting down to watch this show afford me a nice chunk of “family time” on a Tuesday night, but it also gives me the opportunity to know what everyone else is hyperventilating about around the water cooler when I go into the office/mall/market/penitentiary the next day.

We are now beyond the second episode of the second season and I have to say without a trace of humor in my voice, “I just don’t get it.”

If one tries to use Twitter or the like to stimulate their brain cells whilst watching one of these episodes in real time, they will find that the tubes are clogged with random squeals, a plethora of exclamation points and randomly barked out song lyrics. I hate to admit it but I think that my lack of enthusiasm for the show is making my gay card degrade from pink to putrid.

Here’s my take on the show:

1. The blonde Brittney chick is a hoot and I enjoy everything that comes out of her mouth.  Her random take on life is worthy of her notoriety, however, when her quotes are posted on Twitter, completely out of context, they kind of read weird.

2. No one can sing without autotune these days. Apparently we have all gone tone deaf. This is one of the few occasions where I feel the need to shoot the closest piece of technology with a .22.

3. I was sort of warming up to the show this season until they dragged out that stupid, idiotic, mundane story line about Will’s ex-wife and the wallflower. I despise the actress that plays the ex-wife and I secretly hoped her powers on “Heroes” would have gone haywire and she would have blown herself up (with an agonizing scream, of course). Horrible actress, horrible role, horrible storyline, be-doop be-doop be-doop through the TiVO and we are looking for evidence of the her presence being over.

4. When did Rachel become such an unlikable bitch?

5. Sue Sylvester is approaching Urkel land with her presence. I’m now preferring Coach Biest. She may be a dumb hick but at least she’s a little more real feeling. (And I can’t believe I said that either when one considers the context of the entire show).

I’m sorry. I should be ecstatic about “Glee”. There’s music, dancing and high school drama. But I’m not. The only good thing the show brings to my life is the opportunity to sit down and spend time with my family.

Perhaps that in itself is enough. But god that show is awful.

Classic.

Perhaps there’s hope for American television after all. I haven’t watched the show yet, but this part gets my approval.

Rant.

Hi, my name is J.P. In some places on the internet I’m known as Machias, in other places I’m known as iMachias and in other places I have a secret pseudonym that few know about.

I have been maintaining this blog since August 2001. It’s been called “Life Is Such A Sweet Insanity” since that first post, though it has lived on several servers and has sported many looks over the years. I’d like you to take a moment to look around the edges of this blog entry (if you’re not on the mobile or RSS versions) and take a notice of something.

I have no ads on my site. I never have and I never will. This site is funded out of our pockets and we get nothing but comments, emails and any occasional nastygram in return. I’m not looking for ratings and I’m not looking to make a living by what I feel should be just a contribution.

You see, I believe that every person has a positive contribution to make to the human equation, even if they seem like they’re one of the most crankiest people you’ve ever met. (Those folks teach us patience, for example). I think that providing this little window to our life through this blog thingee here is one of my hopefully many positive contributions. I enjoy writing. I enjoy expressing myself. And the universe knows I love to rant.

One of the things that I pride myself on is keeping this blog relatively up-to-date with current blogging trends. For example, if you’ve stumbled across my blog with a mobile device such as a Droid or any iPhone, you’ll note that I have a special template just for you to make it easier for you to navigate my prose with a tiny screen. It only took me about five minutes to install the necessary plugin and it made me feel good. A positive contribution. One would think that someone making a significant amount of money would take the time to do the same with his or her blog, but that’s not the case. They’re too busy making room for more ads.

Quiet.

I have been doing this sort of thing for nearly 15 years but I still can’t get used to it. Earl has left for Minneapolis-St. Paul until late tomorrow night. It’s not even 48 hours that he’ll be gone but nonetheless I still feel something missing.

It’s funny, we occasionally travel on vacation separately and it doesn’t bother me, but when it happens during the week I feel more of an impact. I guess it’s easier to find something to occupy your time when you don’t have to worry about work the next day.

So tonight I will be a geek and idle my motor until he comes home. I hope Jamie likes popcorn for supper.

Peace.

Please burn a candle of peace today.

I miss the pre-9/11 USA.

Saturday.

So today is my Saturday even though yesterday was Wednesday. Even though it seems like it was a month ago, last weekend was a long weekend with that whole Labor Day thing going on and then I worked my regular hours on Tuesday. Yesterday I had the day off but worked second shift so I could do software upgrades (it’s what I’m paid to do, fortunately) and then I had today off. Tomorrow I start four days in a row of work so today is Saturday and then tomorrow is Tuesday because I have next Tuesday off.

This new version of on call week for me is much more confusing then just sitting up in bed all night and paying homage to the Motorola pager gods. I actually prefer this version of on call week much more than the previous version, but I’m still happy this only comes around every three months or so.

Whew!

I was rather productive on my day off, catching up on e-mail, shipping a computer I sold on ebay and listing another that I want to sell. This is all in an effort to keep the budget in check with the recent purchase of the iPad. I’m still loving the iPad, by the way, and I am quite pleased by my return to Mac allegiance.

The other day I noticed that it had been a year or so since my last HIV test so I decided to go ahead and grab a number at the county clinic today. Last year I was number 5, today I was number 2. I drove to the other county office building to accomplish since that’s where they were doing to the HIV testing today, whatever day it is.

I had a really good discussion with Shirley, the counselor and woman that conducted the test. It really boggles my mind as to why people don’t bother to get HIV tested, regardless of their level of promiscuity. It’s a really easy thing to do and as a gay man who watched several of his friends die from AIDS in the 80s and 90s, it seems like the right thing to do.

This is how it works here: you go in, grab a number and sit on a hard chair. They bark out your number and you fill out a modest form. Then you go back to a hard chair. They bark out your number again and you sign the form that says whether you’d like to confidential or anonymous. (I always choose confidential). More time in the hard chair, this time with a photocopied pamphlet on how HIV is transmitted, and then the number is barked out for the third and final time. You sit and asked to sign one more sheet that says you won’t commit suicide should the results come out to be positive, for it could be a false positive and further tests would have to be done for a positive positive. I signed and then my finger was pricked. A few drops of blood on the stick, a drop of special solution and then Shirley started the timer on her leopard skin covered iPhone. We need to wait ten minutes for the results, and that’s when Shirley and I discussed my sexual history over the past six months. What seems mundane to me sometimes evokes wide eyes, I wisely decided not to talk about the goats or swinging chandeliers this time, but I’m frank with my discussion and she goes through the importance of safer sex no matter what and I oblige. She’s right and I always do my best to follow the safer sex code to the letter, goat notwithstanding. During the conversation I am always scanning Shirley for any hesitation or nervous glances at The Stick, but she keeps her cool. Ten minutes are up and then she tells me my results. Since I didn’t know what indicated what on the stick, I asked her to explain and now I know what to look for on the stick in the future.

In today’s world it is important that each and every person, even if you’re 100 years old and doing things that only century old people can do in the bedroom, get tested for HIV. It’s easy to do, damn near free and honestly, the responsible thing to do.

Back.

There is a saying that goes something similar to “Once you go Mac, you never go back.” I’m not really going to focus on the gist of the original saying that since it’s not really applicable to what I’m writing about. Instead, I’m going to focus on one thing.

I went back to Mac.

It’s true that last week I sold my MacBook Pro to the fine people at Gazelle. I’m getting a good bit of money back for it. The MacBook Pro and I have never bonded in the way I had bonded with my PowerBook G4. I was never completely satisfied with the feel of that keyboard and quite frankly, I was always confused as to why Earl’s MacBook Pro, which was purchased at the same time that one way, had a much better keyboard than mine MacBook Pro did. So I wasn’t sad when I decided to sell that computer because we didn’t get along at times (it didn’t like talking to public wifi spots either).

I went on and on about my Lenovo desktop and later, my Lenovo laptop, both that are running the latest stable version of Ubuntu Linux. Ubuntu is cool in that you can make it work and act like a Mac or like Windows or like an Atari 2600 if you want to, but it has this unpolished feel to it that makes me a little crazy. I don’t like feeling crazy in front of a computer. Challenged, perhaps, but not crazy.

I did the Windows thing for a while and it was quaint but when Internet Explorer gets cranky I get cranky, especially when it’s 1 a.m. and I’m searching for porn. So the Windows thing and I didn’t last very long.

Which brings us to today. This morning I was trying to do some work on my Lenovo laptop when Ubuntu decided I shouldn’t be working on my e-mail and just crashed the e-mail program. That was the final straw for me. I ran upstairs, told Earl that anything in the house marked Lenovo was immediately for sale and that what I really wanted to do was use the studio iMac as my main computer, his old MacBook Pro (the one with a good keyboard), which I use for DJ gigs, as my laptop but more importantly, I wanted that iPad I had been hinting about.

We worked out the finances. I have promises to keep. But I am typing this blog entry on my brand new iPad 64GB wifi model.

I. LOVE. IT.

It’s good to be back home.

The WordPress app on the iPad affords me the opportunity to write more whilst on the go. I am hoping that this will inspire me to write more blog entries again. Earl also told me last night that Twitter makes me a little angry because I’m paying more attention to that instead of paying attention to life in general. In addition to the financial obligations of selling anything non-Mac in the house, I have also promised to slow down on the Tweeting.

Satire.

I stumbled across the commercial on YouTube today and I just love the 60s chic feel and the high camp they have going on.

Mrs. Clark is played by Patty Regan who appeared as a guest star in quite a few sitcoms of the era, including playing “Dolly”, the horse turned into a human, in an episode from the second season of Bewitched.

Bonus points to he or she that can identify the three commercials that are referenced in this commercial.