Dear Dunkin’ Donuts,

It appears that it is time for our monthly chat. I regularly order a large, unsweetened iced tea from your fine establishment. It is store #331323. The receipt you gave me says that you gave me an unsweetened iced tea. It looks like an unsweetened iced tea, but when the young lady was assembling my drink, I saw her take the cup and spray something into it. It looked like it could be an artificial sweetener. Perhaps it was antifreeze. Possibly high fructose corn syrup. I was hoping it was just a little extra water.

After tasting this drink, I can not figure out what you put in my cup and quite frankly I am mostly frightened by this. I say ‘mostly frightened’ because I am confident that whatever was sprayed in my cup was not a body fluid, so there is a small amount of relief.

We both you know you can do better.