Why.

Several women I know have been very vocal in their decision to vote for Trump. These particular ladies are from middle America, range from early middle age to late middle age and are white. They want to see change in the country and so they voted for that change by casting their vote for Trump.

I don’t quite get that.

You see, while on the campaign trail, Trump said many times that he would work to overturn Roe v. Wade. He actually said that he thought women that had abortions should be punished in some way.

I have more respect for women than that. Apparently, I have more respect for women than some women have for themselves. And honestly, that’s rather sad to me.

Look, I am sharing my opinion from the cheap seats. I will never be in the position to father a baby much less having to decide on whether to continue a pregnancy. I get that and I can only assume that it is the most heart-wrenching decision a woman can make. In my eyes, terminating a pregnancy is the wrong choice 99% of the time. When the subject was first approached on television, during an early episode of “Maude” in the 1970s, the main character decided to have an abortion because she was pregnant late in life and she and her husband thought it was the best decision for them. Honestly, I don’t agree with their decision of termination but the truth of the matter is that it’s not my decision to make. I believe that women should have the right to that choice.

Women that voted for Trump, who has said that he will work to overturn Roe v. Wade, voted to negate the very right that they have enjoyed since Roe v. Wade was decided. I find that to be selfish and honestly, kind of weak. It’s like they’re saying, “I don’t trust myself to make this decision, the government should make it for me.” Is that what they really want? My gut tells me no. If they’re voting for Trump for other reasons, well, then they’re knowingly denying the same rights they’ve had since 1973 from future generations of women. You can’t say that you want your daughters and granddaughters to grow up to be strong women and then vote for a man that wants to take the right to choose away from them. There’s a disconnect there and I just don’t get it.

I like to think that the women I know are smarter than that. But for the past week I’ve decided that I don’t really know the people around me all that well. I’ve been embracing my loner tendencies big time since the election.

I will probably continue to do so.

I may not agree with the choice a woman makes but I don’t really think it’s any of my business. A woman should be able to do what she wishes with her body.

We should not be giving the government the horsepower to make that decision. We are stronger than that.

Earl and I sat together in my office and watched Secretary Hillary Rodham Clinton deliver her Concession Speech from New York. I really needed to hear Secretary Clinton’s voice. I needed to hear a positive message. Last night I had slept for a total of 2 1/2 hours. This morning, after shedding tears in bed (something that I’m really not that keen on sharing, but I strive to be honest when I write), I dressed in all black and made my way downstairs for breakfast and to get to work. I have been surprisingly productive at work today. Losing myself in my work has given my mind a rest. I still have an incredibly persistent headache.

As I watched the poll results last night, while monitoring Twitter and Facebook all the while, I couldn’t help but feel emptiness, despair, rejection, but honestly the hardest emotion I felt was betrayal. To me it seemed like the American People had decided to betray the American way of life. Facebook, something that I tried really hard to give up but realized that it was the only way I was keeping touch with my bloody blood relations, had all sorts of mean spirited, negative vitriol flying by. It was particularly disheartening to see relatives on the in-law side, women no less, absolutely giddy about seeing Hillary defeated. Words like “Killary” and hash tags like “#LockHerUp” were appearing all over the place. Secretary Clinton will never be the President of the United States. The continuance of such negative behavior smacks of insecurity, projection and guilt. Donald Trump has said that he will ramp back the rights of LGBT Americans. Seeing bloody blood relations encourage this, despite their professions of being fully supportive of who I am and my marriage and my chosen family, felt like betrayal. Once I was dressed in black, shed a few tears and had a couple hours of sleep, I decided that I could absolutely handle Secretary Clinton’s defeat and that I would do what I could do to keep America strong and make it stronger. What I will not tolerate, glance over or sweep under the rug is gloating, ridiculous claims of proven lies as fact or keeping company with anyone that engages in that kind of behavior. It is obvious that they don’t need “the whole me” in their lives and I certainly don’t want to be around them. I welcome a hearty, intelligent political debate, but I will not tolerate disrespect and I will certainly not keep company with those that choose to disrespect me.

President-Elect Trump has a large task ahead of him. I have absolutely no idea what the future brings. I hope that with maybe just a few speed bumps along the way that we will be a stronger country and be better for it when another Presidential election plagues our country in 2020. I really hope that someone, anyone in Washington will come to the center to where the vast majority of the American Populace resides and will speak to us. I have a lot of trepidation that this will ever happen, but I will never lose hope. I will always respect the office of President of the United States and now that President-Elect Trump is headed to the Oval Office, I am anxious to see what he does. I have feared that if he became president that he would be the last President of the United States. I desperately hope that I am wrong.

Secretary Clinton’s words inspired me this morning and were a brighten beacon in a very dark day. Though I definitely don’t see eye to eye with her on several subjects, I believe that she was the best candidate for this election. I think she would have built upon that which we have now and I believed in her as President. The majority of Americans agree with me, as defined by the results of the popular vote. I hope that I will be able to shake her hand someday and thank her for her incredible commitment and achievements on behalf of the entire country. Until then, I share the transcript of her final speech.

Thank you, Secretary Clinton. May your light continue to shine as a beacon for all of us.

Thank you.

Last night, I congratulated Donald Trump and offered to work with him on behalf of our country. I hope that he will be a successful president for all Americans.

This is not the outcome we wanted or we worked so hard for, and I’m sorry we did not win this election for the values we share and the vision we hold for our country.

But I feel pride and gratitude for this wonderful campaign that we built together –- this vast, diverse, creative, unruly, energized campaign. You represent the best of America, and being your candidate has been one of the greatest honors of my life.

I know how disappointed you feel, because I feel it too. And so do tens of millions of Americans who invested their hopes and dreams in this effort. This is painful, and it will be for a long time. But I want you to remember this: Our campaign was never about one person or even one election. It was about the country we love — and about building an America that’s hopeful, inclusive, and big-hearted.

We have seen that our nation is more deeply divided than we thought. But I still believe in America –- and I always will. And if you do, too, then we must accept this result -– and then look to the future.

Donald Trump is going to be our president. We owe him an open mind and the chance to lead.

Our constitutional democracy enshrines the peaceful transfer of power, and we don’t just respect that, we cherish it. It also enshrines other things –- the rule of law, the principle that we’re all equal in rights and dignity, and the freedom of worship and expression. We respect and cherish these things too — and we must defend them.

And let me add: Our constitutional democracy demands our participation, not just every four years, but all the time. So let’s do all we can to keep advancing the causes and values we all hold dear: making our economy work for everyone, not just those at the top; protecting our country and protecting our planet; and breaking down all the barriers that hold anyone back from achieving their dreams.

We’ve spent a year and a half bringing together millions of people from every corner of our country to say with one voice that we believe that the American Dream is big enough for everyone — for people of all races and religions, for men and women, for immigrants, for LGBT people, and people with disabilities.

Our responsibility as citizens is to keep doing our part to build that better, stronger, fairer America we seek. And I know you will.

I am so grateful to stand with all of you.

I want to thank Tim Kaine and Anne Holton for being our partners on this journey. It gives me great hope and comfort to know that Tim will remain on the front-lines of our democracy, representing Virginia in the Senate.

To Barack and Michelle Obama: Our country owes you an enormous debt of gratitude for your graceful, determined leadership, and so do I.

To Bill, Chelsea, Marc, Charlotte, Aidan, our brothers, and our entire family, my love for you means more than I can ever express.

You crisscrossed this country on my behalf and lifted me up when I needed it most –- even four-month old Aidan traveling with his mom.

I will always be grateful to the creative, talented, dedicated men and women at our headquarters in Brooklyn and across our country who poured their hearts into this campaign. For you veterans, this was a campaign after a campaign — for some of you, this was your first campaign ever. I want each of you to know that you were the best campaign anyone has had.

To all the volunteers, community leaders, activists, and union organizers who knocked on doors, talked to neighbors, posted on Facebook – even in secret or in private: Thank you.

To everyone who sent in contributions as small as $5 and kept us going, thank you.

And to all the young people in particular, I want you to hear this. I’ve spent my entire adult life fighting for what I believe in. I’ve had successes and I’ve had setbacks -– sometimes really painful ones. Many of you are at the beginning of your careers. You will have successes and setbacks, too.

This loss hurts. But please, please never stop believing that fighting for what’s right is worth it. It’s always worth it. And we need you keep up these fights now and for the rest of your lives.

To all the women, and especially the young women, who put their faith in this campaign and in me, I want you to know that nothing has made me prouder than to be your champion.

I know that we still have not shattered that highest glass ceiling. But some day someone will -– hopefully sooner than we might think right now.

And to all the little girls watching right now, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world.

Finally, I am grateful to our country for all it has given me.

I count my blessings every day that I am an American. And I still believe, as deeply as I ever have, that if we stand together and work together, with respect for our differences, strength in our convictions, and love for this nation -– our best days are still ahead of us.

You know I believe we are stronger together and will go forward together. And you should never be sorry that you fought for that.

Scripture tells us: “Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season, we shall reap, if we do not lose heart.”

My friends, let us have faith in each other. Let us not grow weary. Let us not lose heart. For there are more seasons to come and there is more work to do.

I am incredibly honored and grateful to have had this chance to represent all of you in this consequential election. May God bless you and god bless the United States of America.

Hillary

As I was out for my morning walk, I couldn’t help but notice the scurrying of children getting to their bus stop in complete darkness. It’s amazing to me that the American populace is content with ripping their pre-school and elementary school children out of bed when it’s pitch black outside so they can be thrust under artificial light, filled up with breakfast and shipped off to school before the sun rises.

But that’s what we do today. As folks dance around because they get “extra sunlight” with Daylight Saving Time going on for way too long, they also stagger into the office, get into car accidents and drink extra amounts of coffee trying to stay awake in the morning.

I really think the United States would be a happier place if we tried to live in harmony with the planet instead of raging against it.

This is the last week of Daylight Saving Time for 2016. Back in 2005, George W. Bush signed the Energy Policy Act which instituted our current Daylight Saving Time requirements beginning in 2007. The timeframe was extended by several weeks, with DST starting the second Sunday of March and ending the first Sunday of November, all under the guise of energy savings. Studies since this law was implemented show that we now burn more energy than we used to, but you’re not suppose to notice that.

I am happy that Daylight Saving Time is coming to an end for the year this coming Sunday. I have been counting down the weeks to a time when I would no longer feel like I’m in a perpetual state of jet lag. I won’t try to force my body to go to bed earlier than I want to nor will I go for my morning exercise in complete darkness, though I will admit that the star filled sky at 6:30 a.m. this morning was quite beautiful.

All of the other countries in the world, save for Canada, because Canada is a copycat, have ended their versions of Daylight Saving Time for the year, but not the United States. Like the metric system, the rest of the world is wrong thinking that a normal day should be between sunrise and sunset and that noon should be around when the sun is at its highest point in the sky. We, the American People, are here to control the world and we’ll say when it’s dark and when it’s light and don’t you worry about what your body is telling you.

My dislike for this foolish practice runs deep.

I need to just turn off social media today. I need to turn off anything that purports itself as a news station for the foreseeable future. Hell, I need to turn off the television, period.

I have grown so weary of stupid people trying to get themselves into power and stupid people trying to put stupid people into power. Let’s face it, I’m just tired of stupid people, and unfortunately, being stupid is très chic in these here United States.

I am so drained from the sheer idiocy being displayed by “my fellow Americans” that I can’t even begin to figure out how I’m going to make it through the next four months of these stupid dog and pony shows that pass themselves off as the “American Electoral Process”.

Plastic faces. Stolen speeches. Stupid ideas. Hateful words.

I am better than this. We are better than this. Electing the next leader of “The Greatest Country In The World”™ should not parallel the likes of your standard, bottom-feeding, scrub grubbing reality show. And this is exactly what we have, a reality show that caters to the stupidest people in the country.

Look, I get that I’m different. I think differently. I see things in a different light. I don’t have a lot of tolerance and I’m often short on patience. And it’s my observation from this far off the beam that makes me realize I just need to shut down the computer and tune out the sheer lunacy, stupidity and idiocy that has gripped this nation.

Either that or we need to move.

The first time I stepped into gay bar it was November 1986. The bar was called “Doc’s”. It was located in the basement of a pediatrician’s office in Jamestown, N.Y. I was a freshman in college at the time. I had met a guy at the college production of “The Normal Heart” and he thought we could meet up for a drink. He was 21, I was 18. Below drinking age and having never stepped foot in a bar on my own, I made the drive and walked in, ordering a Coca-Cola from the bartender. The bar wasn’t really big; it could probably hold 75 without everyone feeling overly cramped. There were three rooms once you descended the stairs into the basement: a room with a pool table, a room with some couches and chairs and other relaxation areas and the main room which had the bar, a decently sized dance floor and a few tables in chairs at the end opposite the bar.

The bar had about 40 people in it when I walked in and I felt everyone’s eyes on me; I was a new face. Having grown up in a small town where my contact with gay men was very minimal, I was probably quite skittish and didn’t strike up conversation with many folks. I just wanted to meet the guy I had met a few nights before.

I was always uncomfortable in unfamiliar social situations because I was always worried that I would be “found out” and subsequently be taunted for being gay. After a few moments of standing by myself, I came to the realization that this wouldn’t be a concern for me at Doc’s, everyone else there was gay. For the first time in my life, I relaxed and let my guard down. In that space at that moment, it was OK to be me. For the next couple of years going to a gay bar would be the only place where I could really be myself. Of course I was still socially awkward, that’s just part of my modus operandi. But I was less socially awkward there. If I was going to be taunted it would be due to my cheesy mustache or my poor fashion choices, not simply because of being gay.

The folks at Pulse in Orlando last weekend were just out for a fun night with friends in a space they considered safe. Now, 2016 is much different than 1986 when it comes to being gay in public, however, I imagine for many the gay bar is where they still felt like they were in a safe space. They could be themselves and let their guard down.

Except a man decided that he wanted to go in and kill as many “perverts” as possible. Whether he was indoctrinated, taught or just came up with the belief that gay folks are perverts is not relevant. The fact of that matter is he made the conscious decision to go into a gay bar and massacre as many gay folks as possible.

They just wanted to dance, have fun and feel safe.

Politicians have been quick to politicize the event. This massacre has been labeled a terrorist attack, presumably due to the assailant’s allegiance to ISIS. The fact of the matter is, this was a hate crime. This was a deliberate attack on individuals that are wired differently than many. People that are still demonized, ostracized and beat over the head with Bible verses for being sick, perverted, etc.

A couple of the victims were friends of a coworker and his family. Reports are showing screenshots of children writing to their parents moments before they were shot dead. This is the biggest mass shooting in the history of “The Greatest Country On Earth”.

I really wish we’d start acting like our grand declaration of “The Greatest Country On Earth”. We hear that a lot, don’t we. “Number One!” “Number One!” “Number One!”. When are going to start living up to our own hype and getting beyond stupid prejudice acts of killing like this? When are we going to start enacting sensible gun control? We all have to take our shoes off at the airport because one idiot decided to hide a bomb in his shoe but how many mass shootings will it take before someone says, “hey, we need to do something about guns.”

Just to be clear, I don’t believe that we should take away everyone’s guns. As I mentioned yesterday, that’s not going to solve the problem. But I do believe that we need to add another layer of security to the process of obtaining a gun.

All these folks wanted yesterday was to be in a safe place to have a great night out with friends.

Words can not express how terrible it is that they had to do die for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Earl and I were at the Central New York Tour de Cure bright and early this morning. Earl volunteered to help coordinate the breakfast tent and I was one of many participants in the cycling event. I rode the metric Century, which was actually 65.5 miles (100 km = roughly 62 miles). The ride went well and I completed it in four hours 39 minutes of riding time. There were five rest stops along the route.

It was at the first route that I posted a photo or two on Facebook and that’s when I saw the news of the mass shooting at the gay bar “Pulse” in Orlando. A gunman armed with an AR-15 assault rifle shot at least 50 people dead and wounded at least 53 others. It’s the largest mass shooting in the history of the United States.

Words cannot describe how much my heart aches as I watch the direction our country is headed. This type of horrific event is becoming entirely too commonplace “from seas to shining sea”. There are reports of the gunman’s possible ties to terrorists groups in the Middle East. Many news outlets are accordingly calling this an act of terrorism.

It was an act of hate.

I have no answers. I have many questions but I have no answers. Yes, stricter gun laws should be in place but I know that’s not going to slow down killers that are intent on killing. I toyed with the idea of making biometric triggers mandatory on firearms but 1. I don’t know what that would really do and 2. Any firearm already out in the wild could easily be looked over for meeting that requirement.

The only answer I can come close to is that we need to stop the American fetishization of firearms and we need to ramp back the depiction of consequence free killing in the media. Honestly, I don’t know that either will help the cause but it’s a start.

I refuse to be afraid. I refuse to be intimidated. The only thing I fear is the direction the U.S. is heading. I read some comments on Twitter from popular politicians and it just increased my desire to vomit. Trump was being Trump, others are touting the virtues of the Second Amendment.

I have no answers. I’m sick and tired of asking the same questions over and over.