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I am a rabid fan of “Jump The Shark”. I occasionally amuse myself by reading through the American Idol entries. Here’s a particular entry that caught my fancy.

Wow. About halfway through this, the fourth, season you could literally feel all the air coming out of this show. There’s a UPI wire story in the papers today about how the ratings are dropping. Is anyone surprised? This show has become televised torture by tedium. The mildly talented contestants are about as exciting as warm milk; Randy can’t stop using the word “pitchy”; drugged-out Paula is as fatuous, inarticulate, and hideously dressed as ever; and Simon looks like he’d rather be having his teeth drilled. So would I. I’ve been to children’s funerals that were more entertaining than this show. What happened to the guest musicians? At least that was somewhat interesting. Now we’ve got the Sesame Street approach to programming: Songs from the ’60s, Songs from the ’70s; Songs from the ’80s; Songs from the ’90s… Who would have imagined that the show’s writers could count? What’s next? “Tonight, Live on American Idol, Songs with the Letter H in them!!!!”

I couldn’t have said it better myself! Someone out there thinks like I do. Scary! Now don’t miss the results show tonight!

I have this reoccurring problem. I have this tendency to mix up my words. It’s not like a tourette thing, where I’m screaming out “asshole asshole” in the middle of McDonalds or anything, though I occasionally would like to be able to do that and get away with it. No, I tend to mix up my words in that I say a word that sounds similar or is somehow related to the word I intend to say or speak. Or in many cases type.

For example, when I worked at the radio station, we would occasionally run across the street to pick up a soda at a store called Kinney’s. I remember saying “I’m going to Thruway’s to pick up a soda”. Now Kinney’s is nowhere near the Thruway. But because they both end in “Y”, my brain said, “Eh, close enough, say ‘Thruway'”.

I must have a lazy brain or something.

Actually, the Kinney’s-Thruway’s thing is an abnormality, because I usually say a different word that begins with the same letter as the intended word. “I’m going for boat, bite, bike, bike, I’m going for a bike ride.” That’s how I usually talk. And I’ve never really admitted this before but that’s one of the reasons I got out of radio, because I couldn’t speak a coherent sentence on the air without stuttering and stammering.

Once in a while, I’ll say a word that is somehow related to the intended word. For example, a week or so ago, I mentioned in my blog that my co-workers find it odd that I grocery shop at noon. What I actually intended to type was “midnight”. But I typed noon while thinking midnight and read it as midnight when I proofread my blog entry. So then anyone who happened to stumble across my entry that day thought we were all weird because they thought I was weird because I grocery shopped at noon. Lots of people grocery shop at noon. I really meant midnight.

I went to a neurological specialist back in ’00 who said that I may have a touch of dysphasia. Hah, I just typed ‘dipstick’ and had to correct it. I guess I do have a touch of dipstick.

Perhaps I allow my mind to wander so often and so much that its completely pre-occupied with whatever I’m scheming and doesn’t have time for the real world.

So if you run into me in the real world and strike up a conversation, don’t be surprised if I say “Hi Then!” instead of “Hi there!”.

Well I’ll be darned. Yesterday I wrote about the trouble I was having with Microsoft Office OneNote and wouldn’t you know that not one, but *two* people from Microsoft dropped me an e-mail to find out the specifics I was having with the software. So I responded and let them know what was going on. I haven’t received a reply yet, but I find this surprising on two accounts.

• There are Microsoft people out there offering help on their products, for free.
• Someone actually reads this stuff I write.

I have mentioned before that I’m very excited about the new “Bewitched” movie coming out on June 24. Here’s a couple of pictures from the movie.

I can’t help but notice that Shirley MacLaine makes a fabulous Endora and Carole Shelley is a convincing looking Aunt Clara.

This is going to be fun! Tinka-tinka-tee!

I’ve been squawking the past year or so about how I’ve become a Mac Zealot. I’m just crazy about our stable of Macs and their simplicity. As Apple says, “It Just Works”. At least most of the time, and when it doesn’t, it’s usually because I’m just thinking too hard and making more out of a task than it should be.

Like most of corporate America, I’m stuck with using Microsoft Windows at work. More specifically, XP Professional. Lately the IT department has been cracking down on what’s installed on our computers and such, so I haven’t been able to super tweak my computer like I enjoy doing. I’ve been trying desperately to be the good employee and stick to the provided programs, Office 2003, Internet Explorer, etc., even though I know that Firefox, Thunderbird and other open source alternatives are superior products.

When Microsoft abandoned their support of a gay rights bill in Washington State a couple of weeks ago, I promptly deleted any and all Microsoft software on our home computers. No more trial version of Office for the Mac. No more NT Workstation in the computer in the cellar. No more use of Internet Explorer. Last week, Microsoft reversed their decision and reinitiated their support for the same gay rights bill.

Last night I tried to install Windows NT Workstation back on the cellar computer and I couldn’t get through the install program.

Well isn’t that a crappy kettle of fish.

The computer is in the *exact* same configuration it was in when I took the software off a couple of weeks ago. Nothing has changed. It even has a “Designed for Windows NT” sticker on the outside.

It gives me the blue screen of death about 3/4 of the way through the install program.

I have no idea why.

And I’m a computer geek.

We were recently upgraded to Office 2003 at work and I’m taking a test drive of Microsoft Office OneNote, in an effort to eliminate jotting down thousands of notes of millions of pieces of paper.

The blasted program keeps ‘bonk’-ing at me without nary an explanation. “Reboot” has become a way of life. It’s a shame, but I have no idea why I’m getting the bonk as no messages ever appear.

And I’m a computer geek.

So, while Microsoft is once again supporting a good cause, I can not say that I’m heartily supporting their work. I wish I could, I really wish I could. But its just too buggy.

So I’ll say it again. Buy A Mac.

I’m sitting here enjoying the sun during my lunch hour and realizing that I really don’t want to head back to the office. I really need to, since it’s, well, what I do for a living, but damn it is certainly beautiful outside today. Picture perfect… 72 degrees, lots of sunshine and a mild breeze.

Thank goodness I get out at 4:00 today. 🙂

This morning I decided I needed to kick start my life (AGAIN!) and change things up a little bit. I’m on the early shift this week (7 a.m. to 4 p.m.) so instead of sleeping until the last possible moment, I decided that I would get up at 5 and go for a two mile walk before going through my morning routine.

Did you know that the sun rises in the east? Absolutely fascinating. I haven’t seen the sun rise in a long time and the route I follow while walking allows me the luxury of literally walking into the sunrise. Beautiful.

The domestic drive in me seems to have set up permanent residence, so I then made our lunches for the day. Then I ate breakfast, all before checking internet happenings and taking a shower and getting dressed. The whole routine is completely backwards from my usual morning march, but I’m finding that changing it up is keeping it interesting.

I think I’m scaring Earl with my efficiency, but he appreciates it all.

She’s a little whacky. She hears her own drumbeat. All the kids in school wanted her as a chaperone, because she was the cool mom. When we were kids, she could rattle dishes in a two-mile radius when she said “no”. She was and is always there to listen. She’s always has accepted me as I am, regardless of my age. Yeah, she’s pretty neat. Happy Mothers’ Day, Mom.

Something new happened at the mall tonight. Earl and I were walking along when I was stopped by an attractive man at K-B Toy and Hobby.

“Excuse me, can I ask you a question? Do you have a website about roads?”

Long story short, Mike stopped by site way back and we discussed the old “Two Guys” department store chain via e-mail. I think it’s the first time I’ve been recognized in a mall because of the website.

I took a stroll at lunch today to welcome the spring weather that has finally arrived here in lovely Upstate New York. It’s amazing the things you discover as you walk the city streets.

• Being a true melting pot, we now have billboards in Bosnian. Not many Upstate N.Y. cities can boast that.
• The protesters in front of Planned Parenthood were a welcomed change today. Instead of the religous conservative “Pro Lifers”, it was a large group of “Pro Choicers” from Hamilton College. I gave them a round of applause.
• Even in this economically depressed city, a street with *some* people walking is better than a city street with *no* people walking on it.
• A busy locally owned diner always looks better than a boarded up Burger King.
• An elevated heart rate from walking chases away hunger pains.

Happy Spring!