Ponderings and Musings

Earl is lying in bed next time. He gets up earlier than me so therefore he tends to fall asleep faster than I do. I’m on call, which makes me tend to lie in bed and sort of just wait for my pager to go off so I’m quite tired from last night but I also need to fall asleep. I probably will soon.

We are almost a week into the New Year and I must say that I am feeling very good about 2009 thus far. I have been working on my goals that I set for myself this year – I’ve been sticking to my healthy eating plan, I am going to be seeing an acupuncturist soon and I’m staying within my budget; we haven’t had a money discussion yet this year. That’s always a good sign. I’m good at spending money. This year I hope to add some wisdom to the talent.

I’m trying to type quietly here in bed so as not to disturb Earl. It’s not an easy thing to do, I type quickly but I learned on a typewriter, so my touch is a little intense.

I watched the live updates from Macworld this afternoon like most Mac users and I have to say that initially I was a little disappointed in what was presented today; I’m not in the market for a new MacBook Pro but I’m kind of excited about the enhancements to iLife. I was really hoping for a new incarnation of the Mac Mini, but I’m guessing that might be down the line a little bit. Then after watching the video of the keynote speech I decided that I liked what Apple presented today. I never really expect them to take my breath away, they just make really cool technology. That’s all it is.

Tonight has been about just hanging around the house and doing on-call stuff. I like just hanging around sometimes.

DJing in relative darkness.

So today is the first day of 2009. I feel I started the New Year off on the right foot; whilst working at the bar last night I drank only water. It was amateur night as far as the crowd was concerned, the lightweights were drunk at midnight and the bar cleared down to about a quarter of the crowd by 12:30. The crowd was by no means impressive by way of size but they were nonetheless festive. The gig went well. I received several compliments on my music selection last night. I was also approached by a DJ based in the Poconos who invited me to spin down there some time. I am pleased.

With the ushering of the New Year everyone has resolutions and promises and goals and all that sort of thing and I suppose I am no different when it comes to this. There are a couple of things in the way of self-improvement that I am focusing on this year and hopefully the results will be evident in various aspects of my life. Some will be discussed on this blog and some will not. I’ll probably discuss more things than I have lately, because one of my goals is to get back into the habit of blogging on a regular basis again. I need the creative outlet.

I have done surprisingly well in maintaining a healthier lifestyle over this past holiday season. I jumped on the scale and noticed that my BMI has decreased a little bit and that my weight has dropped a couple of pounds. This is a good thing. One of my goals this year is to do more photography work, both behind and in front of the camera. Feeling more confident in this body will help me on both sides of the lens.

My faith in western medicine continues to decline as I get older. I remember talking with a psychic (not the one that told me I should be dead by now) about 10 years ago who said that some people are wired for natural remedies and some people are wired for chemical remedies. I fully believe that I am in the former group on that one and I am going to swing my health pendulum back in that direction again. I think that’s the basis of a few things that have been bothering me lately; I’ve been a little cranky the past month or two. I feel like I really have a turned over a new leaf with the ushering in of the New Year.

I started an informal blog of recipes. When I find something interesting that I’m going to endeavour to cook in the kitchen, I’ll post the recipe here.

“LAST EXIT BEFORE USA” the sign proudly proclaimed. “2.5 km to Buffalo USA” the next one so generously reminded us.

Sigh. It’s time to cross the border. Good-bye Canada. We’ll see you very soon.

“Citizenship?”
“United States.” I refuse to say I’m an American because that would imply that all other countries on the North and South American continents don’t have that right when technically they are Americans too, just not in the generally accepted sense. Nevertheless…
“How long have you been in Canada?”
“24 hours.”
“Where have you been?”
I wanted to tell him that I had driven to Winnipeg and back but he probably wouldn’t have believed me.
“Oakville.”
“Why were you in Oakville?”
“Visiting my sister and her husband for the holiday. Happy holidays.”
“Your sister is Canadian?”
“Not yet. Her husband is a Canadian though. He plays hockey.”
Hockey doesn’t impress a U.S. Customs Agent. Silly boy.
“What did you take into Canada?”
“My mother.”
“Where is she?”
“In Oakville with my sister and her husband the hockey player. She’s spending time with her grandchildren.”
He tries to discreetly wave my passport over a reader, but my passport isn’t chipped. He has to slide it. I’m old fashioned.
“Where do you live?”
I give him the name of our little town. It’s near the little city. I refrain from saying my favorite name for the little city. It rhymes with “hit bowl”.
“What do you do?”
“I work for a telephone company.”
“How do you know each other?”
“We are LOVERS!” I proudly proclaim.
“Nice.”
Customs man just got a teensy bit more woofy.
“What do you do?”
“I work for a telephone company.” Is it rerun season? Oh, he’s talking to Earl.
“Who is the car registered to?”
Earl leans over, “it’s my company car, it’s a leasing company.”
“Are you bringing anything you purchased back to the U.S.?”
“No. We just ate food and drank a little.”
“Roll down the back window so I can see in.”
Thank goodness for automatic windows.
“Thank you, have a nice day.”

Welcome to “The Land of the Free.”

I think when my parents decided to make a son they neglected to purchase the extended warranty on me. Now I haven’t completely fallen apart and all of my appendages are still in place, but to quote Earl, “you’re a great fixer upper.”

He is so loving.

Today I went to the dentist. I joked and frolicked a couple of months ago that I had broken one of my teeth on a Lorna Doone. I have felt no pain whatsoever from this broken tooth. It isn’t even noticeable unless I open my mouth at you and say “ah” or something so this isn’t a question of vanity. I just don’t like the idea of having a broken tooth in my mouth so I decided to do something about it; this couldn’t wait until my next regularly scheduled program.

The dentist, in all his hotness, did the best “tsk-tsk” that he could do for not taking care of the tooth sooner. He poked and prodded at my gums and the tooth with the hole in it and did his best to make it hurt but it did not. He then presented me with an estimate of $1700 and outlined what needed to be done. Mentions of crowns and caps were thrown about the room and I signed on the dotted line. Then the vanity finally kicked in when he mentioned that the cap and crown would match the colour of my teeth, it was then that I decided I would get them whitened first so they could match the colour to whiter teeth.

I smile a lot, I should blind people when I do so.

Today’s dentist visit was a prelude to my theme of 2009. In the past I have made resolutions to get myself back in shape, not waste money, yada yada yada. There will be no resolutions for 2009. Instead, with the coming New Year I’m taking a different approach: I’m just going to rebuild and reboot the whole package and get ready for what is probably the second half of my life.

And I’m going to smile brightly the entire time.

I have been a Windows user since Windows 2.0 (aka Windows/286) came out in the mid 1980s. I mean, I remember Windows back when the coolest feature was the clock. Then we upgraded and the windows could actually overlap. That was very exciting. I’ve complained about Windows through the years but have kept up with the latest incarnation of the most popular computer operating system; I have to, after all, because part of my job involves providing technical support for Windows users. I mean, I’ve dabbled in Linux in an effort to go Microsoft free and in 2004 I jumped into the world of Mac, but I’ve always had a Windows machine in my life somewhere.

Back when I jumped into the world of Mac I bought a PowerBook G4 laptop. I LOVED that computer and still do; it’s the computer that I do all my DJ gigs with. I wouldn’t part with my PowerBook ever – it’s very well built, still feels very solid and though it’s rapidly falling behind today’s technology, it still holds it’s own when I’m surfing, checking e-mail or doing the DJ gigs.

Earlier this year I purchased a MacBook Pro to replace my PowerBook for my day to day needs. The MacBook Pro looks virtually identical to my older PowerBook though inside it is considerably different and muh more advanced. While the MacBook Pro is considerably faster than my older PowerBook and looks the same, I’ve found that it doesn’t have the same solid feel that I came to enjoy with my PowerBook. It just doesn’t feel as sturdy to me. I can’t wrap my head around the computer as I have been able to with other machines, I don’t feel like it’s an extension of my technical being. I attribute some of this to Leopard (the latest version of Mac OS X) because while too boring to mention here, there are several things that I don’t like about that OS. (I liked it’s predecessor Tiger better).

Therefore, I still continue to play with Windows.

I have considered selling the MacBook Pro and using the proceeds to buy a (PRODUCT) RED Dell M1530 that is completely souped up and dressed to the nines. This would mean running the (PRODUCT) RED version of Microsoft Windows Vista Ultimate. I think this is a good thing. In fact, I’m running the standalone (PRODUCT) RED version of Vista Ultimate on the PC in our back bedroom. It is performing flawlessly.

There is a certain amount of status that comes with wielding a MacBook Pro at the internet café. I don’t want to say that having a Mac automatically thrusts one into some nebulous elite status, but it does carry a certain amount of an “I’m hip” aura with it. People take notice of the illuminated Apple on the notebook cover. Some ask questions. There is a considerable segment of Mac users that are crazed lunatics about Apple, and while I have approached that threshold on a number of occasions, I’ve never drank the entire glass of kool-aid before.

On the other hand, I believe that wielding a (PRODUCT) RED Dell M1530 would also say something to the internet café crowd. While the purchase would certainly benefit others (more information on why and what (PRODUCT) RED is here), it would certainly tell folks that I care about our world. On one hand, that is considerably selfish of me as I’m advertising the fact that I contributed to the (PRODUCT) RED project, but on the other hand, I think I’d rather discuss the benefits of (PRODUCT) RED instead of touting the virtues of all things Apple to the casual observer.

I guess I would be proud because I would be contributing to making a difference.

To the best of my knowledge, Apple does not offer any computers involved with (PRODUCT) RED, though they do have a (PRODUCT) RED iPod.

In today’s faltering worldwide economy I can’t help but pay attention to what is going on financially all around me. Not only do I like to spend money these days but I also like to see how money is spent and what can be done to make the experience a little less harrowing for all involved.

We are all familiar with the good ol’ American way of purchasing a car from your friendly car dealer. You browse the car lot and look at the various offerings while a snappy dressed salesman tries not to notice you from a nearby window and then decides to take a walk. Said walk spirals in closer and closer faster than the starting line of the Boston Marathon and suddenly you have a car salesman as your best friend who is offering to recline the bucket seats in a non-suggestive manner. Once you make up your mind on which auto you’d like to purchase, you then find out that none of the numbers on the price sticker are applicable, but instead you must dicker your way down with the salesman to a good price, after he leaves his office several times to make motions and whisper sweet nothings into some manager’s ear.

I’m discovering the same thing applies to the medical arena these days. During my last physical (and I underscore the word last for various reasons) with Dr. Lance, I resisted his suggestion that I take Norvasc for my slightly high blood pressure, as Norvasc has a history of (and gave me) this cough I couldn’t shake. Dr. Lance’s ears perked up at the word “cough” and faster than you can say “Fire all phasers, Mr. Chekov” I was in for a chest x-ray. This experience cost somewhere between four and 634 American dollars.

The bill arrived a few days ago. The hospital charged $181 for two views (one smiling, one frowning). Some HMO contractual person took off $68.78 even though I don’t have an HMO. Naturally my chest is taxable so I had a NYS Assessment Surcharge of $10 added on.  My bill then came to $122.26 but that’s only if I decide not to pay it, for if I pay the bill I only have to pay $97.81. That last amount was only determined after I called Theresa at the hospital billing office (not to be judgmental but she really sounded like an Irving or Stanley). Theresa banged on the keys and made an ancient sounding teletype machine spit out paper (I could hear the ripping sound) and she came up with the magic number as long as I pay it within 16 days. I needed to put her name on the bill so we all know it was legit.

Now, factor in the fact that I have a deductible on my health insurance now and nary a scratch on any of my fenders, I don’t know why I’m only paying Theresa’s amount when I think I should be paying some other amount. And since when do we have deductible rates on health insurance? Can’t I just skip the glass coverage?

With all these numbers being flung about in just about every aspect of our lives these days it’s a small wonder that the economy is such a mess.

So I just got back from my dermatologist appointment. My regular physician was concerned about the spots on my skin so he wanted me to see the skin doctor. After an eight week wait I was in and met with her for the first time. She checked my skin in less than three minutes.

I have freckles. That’s what redheads do. We have freckles.

I have also had this little irritation/rash thing on my forehead and the bridge of my nose for awhile. My regular doctor had prescribed some steroid cream that irritated the hell out of my eyes. The dermatologist looked it over and determined that the steroid cream is not a good idea and told me what the problem really is: I have have dandruff.

I am a bald man with dandruff. And not only that, I have dandruff on my forehead and the bridge of my nose. Putting oils, lotions, etc. on my skin is aggravating the condition so she gave me some magic formula that is gentle on the skin to treat the condition. I have a follow up appointment in six weeks.

She also looked over every inch of freckles on my body (and I have a lot of them, even in places you wouldn’t expect them) and there is no concern whatsoever with any of my spots. I’m clear of skin cancer from top to bottom.

I’m just a bald Irishman with dandruff on my forehead.

“This just in, former First Lady Barbara Bush has been rushed to the hospital for stomach pain. So far, all tests are negative.”

Does this mean she doesn’t really have the pain or she doesn’t have a stomach?

When I started this blog back in 2001 it was in an effort to improve my writing skills. I like to write for the most part and though I don’t think I’m really that good at it I still get enjoyment from expressing myself by typing my thoughts. I’ve never been one to care about the number of people reading my blog. I love hearing the comments from others and meeting people through our cyber connections but I don’t feel the need to come up with gimmicks to get people to visit here often. If you stop by, you’re welcomed with open arms. If you’re not here, that’s fine as well, I’m not taking a billboard out to advertise myself nor will I make this whole affair “new and improved”.

I like to think that my writings here are a fairly honest, though rather edited snapshot of what is going on in my life. What you read here is true to my personality. I am pretty open about how I live my life as a gay man and I’m brutally honest about my belief structure. If I have an opinion, you’ll probably hear it.

There are some subjects that I choose not to talk about in these parts though. There are two reasons for this. First of all, back when I first started using the internet back in 1984 (and yes, I said 1984 as in the ‘Here Comes The Rain Again’ era), I was taught that you should never write something down unless you wouldn’t mind it appearing on the front page of the New York Times. I apply that principle to all electronic communication: blogs, e-mails, website comments, everything. To delete is futile, once it is typed it is forever, it will be saved somewhere, someday and might come back to haunt you when you run for Governor of Alaska or something.

The other reason that I don’t write about certain subjects on here is simple; I don’t want to have to answer uncomfortable questions at a family reunion or office party. I have no regrets and little to hide, but I really don’t want to face this type of dialog:

Them: “So, on the weekends, you…?”, as their voice trails off whilst putting potato salad on the paper plate. It’s a long lost in-law who stumbled upon my blog a month or so ago.
Me: “Usually on the weekends, but once in a while during the week”, I reply, being brutally honest and making the curious uncomfortable. I start to blush.
Them: “Earl does too?”
Me: “Not so much.”
Them: “In public?” Another scoop of potato salad, the interrogator lost in the moment.
Me: “Once in a great while. I like making a scene”, I beam.
Them: “Where do you get …”
I nervously glance around the food tent and quickly interrupt, “Online, but sometimes Lowe’s or Home Depot. Lowe’s has camouflage.”
Them: “Are there pictures?”
Me: “Undoubtedly someone in the crowd has taken pictures. Check Flickr.”

I remarked to Earl yesterday that my little bout of writer’s block seems to have become unclogged and I was ready to start writing about life again.

He replied that he didn’t know I was stopped up.