As the cold breezes blew and darkness settled over the river, it was 13 years ago tonight that Earl and I, along with Rick and Helen as witnesses, exchanged our commitment vows and placed our wedding rings on each other’s fingers.
Time certainly flies when you’re having fun.
Tonight we are celebrating as most married couples do; in a hotel room near the scene of the crime, spending time with family and probably gettin’ a little nookie before the sun rises.
So yesterday I decided to try out the iPhone app called “Grindr”1. For those unfamiliar with the app, it uses the GPS function of the iPhone to find gay men in your proximity, obviously if they are using Grindr as well. It’s basically a hook-up or dating app done in a full 21st century way. You create a profile that includes your picture, your age and various other stats if you choose to and then it tells you who is nearby. Since I was in the mall when I started the app up, I opted to put just a face shot on my profile. I restricted my search to those ages 35 and over. My tag line read “happily partnered, just looking for friendly faces.”
There was a very nice man wearing a Santa’s hat in his profile picture 2,992 feet away from me. I told him he had a nice hat, he thanked me and said he worked at the Lindt Chocolate Shop and had just left work for the day. He liked that my profile said “friends only” as his said the same. We didn’t get to meet him face to face but he seemed nice enough.
The only other profile relatively closeby at the time belonged a guy named Matthew. I noticed his profile because he was another red-headed bear and strikingly cute. The information on his profile was sparse and he wasn’t online at the moment, but there was a link to his website. Turns out he is a avid (rabid?) Mac user (like me!2), is a bear (like me!) and is on Twitter (like me!). His website was created with iWeb, which is a good thing as far as I’m concerned. We didn’t chat or anything but I’m following him on Twitter now. If you have a picture of yourself with your Mac for all the world to see, you’re worth following on Twitter.
So while 98% of the guys using Grindr are probably using it to hook-up, find potential playmates and just trying to connect to do the nasty, I used it to just see who was nearby in just a curious exercise. I don’t know if I’ll use it regularly but it might be interesting whilst we’re traveling.
1 I used Grindr whilst sitting in the food court and that was pretty much it; I try really hard not to be obnoxious with my iPhone to others in my party.
2 I think it’s well established that I have nothing against non-Mac computer users.
Brought to your courtesy of Joe.My.God.
Comedy writer and cabaret performer Shelly Goldstein sends us her fun Poppins-fied take on marriage equality. You’re all at home now, c’mon, follow the bouncing ball and sing out loud.
So here it is the Monday after the Pride weekend festivities in my favourite North American city, Toronto. Earl and I arrived back at The Manor last night around 10:00, we went to bed shortly afterwards.
We both took Friday off from work so we could get into Toronto nice and early and hit the pavement Friday night; the QEW decided to disagree with us a bit as traffic was crazy from Hamilton all the way to the Gardiner. So we got to the hotel room around 6; by 7 p.m. we were off to a pre-pride meet and greet and North Bound Leather. It was quite festive. Afterwards there was dinner and drinks with friends and hanging out on Church Street people watching until the wee hours of the morning. Very nice.
Saturday morning we were up at the crack of noon and headed over to the Village Rainbow Café for some brunch. The mood was festive.
We then hit the streets, walking up and down Church Street (and the side streets between Church and Yonge) visiting the vendor booths and enjoying the festive atmosphere. The weather was perfect for the celebration and the streets were subsequently very busy.
Earl and I took our obligatory self shot.
After the fun on the streets in the afternoon we cleaned ourselves up, decked ourselves out, had dinner and then met up with friends for the typical Saturday night fun. I’d share the pictures but people would blush.
It was raining pretty good on Sunday but we decided to ignore that and see the parade after all. We checked out of the hotel, put the Jeep into a strategic escape position and parked ourselves on Yonge Street.
We were going to move to the east side of the street but we were unable to cross over Yonge without going through the subway tunnels, so we stayed on the corner of Yonge and Grenville, joined by our friends dan and Rick.
The parade was fabulous. The rain stopped just in time for the festivities to start and then it was nearly 2 1/2 hours of people being themselves in a very long, very festive parade.
People dressed appropriately for the celebration.
Yonge Street was shoulder to shoulder with spectators.
Folks from all walks of life marched by.
Here’s something you wouldn’t see in the states. The Canadian Forces, the Mounties and the Toronto Police were actively recruiting members Saturday and Sunday on Church Street. They naturally took part in the parade as well.
I have to admit, the leather float is always one of my favourites.
And the bears were bubbling over with pride as well.
All in all it was an excellent weekend and one of my favourite pride events thus far in my nearly 41 years. I’m looking forward to the fun next year.
So it was about a month ago that I did the photo shoot with my friend Kevin. Well, maybe it’s been three weeks but nevertheless I have had time to look the photos over and pick out which ones I like the best. Kevin took a LOT of photos during the shoot, as did his studio partner Dale. I haven’t seen Dale’s photos yet as he used film and is still in the process of tweaking the photos to his liking. Kevin says that they are considerably different than the photos he took. I am intrigued, to say the least, as I really liked Kevin’s work. Back when Kevin first gave me the photos I shared some shots here on the blog.
There were actually many different moods and clothes throughout the shots that I haven’t shared with the general public yet. I don’t know if it’s because I’m shy in a way or because it shows a side of me that I don’t usually show for public consumption, but I have decided to share another photo.
And here it is. I’ll let you decide which one piece of clothing in this shot is not mine.
Photo © 2009 Kevin Miller Photography
The internet is a beautiful thing. When I was sitting at my desk at Digital Equipment Corporation back in 1988, I never dreamed that I would be discussing via electronic means the next Human League album (“Romantic?”) just two years later with a person living in the U.K. who wasn’t even on the same network I was. When I left that job I kept in touch with ex-co-workers via e-mail on AOL (my username was “JP”!). Then the whole web thing came around and the entire planet was connected, with a few clicks we were able to chat with anyone, anywhere. It that was just the beginning.
Luckily I learned very early on that anything you write via electronic means, anything at all, is stored somehow, somewhere and can turn up anywhere at any time. I have mentioned before that I can pull up Usenet discussions I participated in back in 1989 via a simple Google search. One such message barely contained my excitement that the series “Tabitha” was turning up on a new cable channel called “HA”. (It later became Comedy Central).
I love the fact that I can contact people with similar interests and maintain strong relationships with friends in Toronto and Connecticut electronically and with the same amount of ease and comfort level as enjoying a cup of tea together at the local coffee shop. It’s truly a brilliant thing. However, sometimes I think this new generation forgets that all this electronic interaction is permanent and relatively transparent. You find anything on anyone. For example, last night Earl and I had a few chores to do and ended up stopping at Applebee’s for supper. Because I have an eye for these things, I noticed right off that the server was a very good-looking man in a clean-shaven bearish sort of way. I’ve seen him around town before; he’s worked at other restaurants in the past and I’ve seen him at Saranac Thursday Nights. He’s really good at what he does and as I mentioned before, he is quite nice on the eyes. His name tag said “Scott”. The receipt added an “H” to his name.1
When I got home I pulled out my geek powers and did a quick search on Facebook. I now know that Scott is a few years shy of my age, lives not too far from me, is married (and I know his wife’s name too), was in a band in high school and college, has always had a unique thing going on with his hair, has always been a good looking man, has over 150 friends on Facebook from our area alone, including another waiter that I recognised because of his unique facial hair, who I now know to be named Alex (his profile didn’t have much more than that, though).
Far from malicious in my intent but armed with the right tools, I was able to easily find a relatively substantial amount of information on the person I don’t know. I always keep this availability of any information on the internet in the back of my mind whenever I post something somewhere. And I post a LOT of things. When I auditioning for Big Brother 4, one of the questions I was asked was if there was anything that would be considered “scandalous” available on the internet. I replied with an “absolutely”, which is true, which delighted them. They liked that sort of thing.
There are some reasons that I don’t engage in Facebook as much as one would expect. I mean let’s face it, there is a part of me that has always wanted to be famous and have some sort of notoriety, hence my previous career as a radio personality. Truth be known, Facebook itself is a little annoying to me. I’m not fan of those little applets thingees like snowballs flying around and something about green beer. Granted, I like to poke people to let them know I’m thinking of them. However, anyone can find anyone else on there with relative ease. I’ve browsed. I’ve looked up waiters. I have sought out old teachers and classmates. Aside from a select few from my high school years, there are not quite a lot of old classmates that I want to start chatting with again. I do things and say things that I never had the balls to do or say back in those days and quite frankly some would find me and what I’m about startling. This is not entirely a bad thing but a part of me wants to move on and embrace who I’ve become, not who I was.
Given a choice in this whole social networking thing I gravitate toward Twitter and, to a lesser extent, Flickr. I feel like I have more control with both of those services with careful use of groups and content filters, though Facebook does offer similar mechanisms. I really like the simplicity of Twitter (that’s what’s in the sidebar under ‘The Adventures of Machias’), though I tend not to get into the chat room atmosphere of the software (I liken that to having a conversation with a friend by screaming at each other to opposite sides of a restaurant). I state what I’m doing or thinking and leave it at that for the most part. And naturally, I have this blog that I write in with some regularity (without a prune assist). I think writing and sharing through this means (whether it’s words, photos, videos or whatever) is my favourite form of expression.
At age 40 I’m finding myself to be more confident, opinionated and expressive than ever before. I feel more comfortable discussing things that I used to just file away in my head. I think this is a good thing and it is because of the internet allows me to have a voice and a rather loud one at that. Though I’m loud, I’m also cautious. And all this freedom translates well to the old-fashioned human interaction I have in the “real world”.
1I think the inclusion of this “H” is generous in today’s climate (and rightfully so). Just think, before the year 2000 EVERY customer receipt from Ames Department Stores contained the Social Security Number of the cashier!
It’s going to be a fully geek weekend for me as I am on-call until Monday morning. I have various projects to keep me busy so I won’t be bored or anything like that. I’ll probably write in the blog quite a bit. I tend to get chatty when I’m not as distracted by the work week.
Back in 1986 I was just discovering the gay bar during my freshman year of college. It was around this time that I first stepped into “Doc’s” in Jamestown, New York. Located in the basement of a pediatrician’s office, I never drank or anything but rather just enjoyed the vibe and the music. I was introduced to the experience by a college senior and fellow music major named Steve. He resembled Herbie (“I want to be a dentist”) from Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer and was an AMAZING pianist. He probably still is. Last I knew he lived in Schenectady.
One of the things I liked about Doc’s was that the DJ played the British dance stuff that was popular in the mid 1980s. One of the tracks that he played was by a duo called “Pepsi and Shirlie”. Their most popular song was “Heartache”. It’s very 80s sounding.
Bonus points to those that can name the group we first saw Pepsi and Shirlie with.
[MEDIA=72]Earl and I are in Buffalo for the weekend for “Buffalo Bear Trap”: a gathering of furry men of all ages and sorts (and those that admire of them) where we meet up, bump bellies, party a bit and hang out with old and make new friends. The festivities began last night.
I don’t know if it’s the recent bout of illness, a feeling of “turning a corner” in my life or what but I am the most content that I have been in a very long time. I’m in full relaxation mode this weekend. I’m happy with the way I feel physically but more importantly I’m happy with where my heads is at. I guess my contentment could be interpreted as “completeness”. I feel complete these days. Complete and comfortable. I am happy with who and what I am. Complete and comfortable therefore equals contentment.
Last night I was the “sound designer” for the performances last night, which included a musical guest (complete with video) and two stand-up comedians. Kendall took the stage first with his music, followed by Kristen Becker and Frank DeCaro of Sirius Satellite radio’s OutQ. The performances went well and my DJ sets before and afterward seemed to go over well with the crowd. The space was basically a large box with 25 foot ceilings and the group rented a sound system. It was a bit of a challenge to keep things and sounding good without a huge amount of echo.
One of the best things about the weekend is meeting up with our friends Steve and Tim. It’s been a year since we’ve seen them but we seem to pick up right where we left off a year ago. Our schedules have been too crazy to get together any more than that, we need to make a better effort in 2009. We love them both.
I’ve taken a bunch of pictures to share but neglected to bring the interface cable. This is a little bit of a pet peeve of mine: I own my third Sony digital camera. The first two, and our video camera, all used the same cable to transfer pictures to the computer. This camera uses a completely different cable and of course it’s sitting on my desk at home. I guess I’ll share the pictures tomorrow night when we get home.
Tonight it’s the big party at a local show house and then an after hours party at the hotel. It’s going to be a long night.
I’ll be the guy in the corner who is content watching the crowd.
By now you’ve undoubtedly heard the Really Big News of the week: Clay Aiken came out of the closet and confirmed that he’s gay.
Big woo.
Now, I’m not discounting Mr. Aiken’s step into the public as an out and proud gay man in any way. He’s gotten a little whacky (according to unverified claims of his backstage antics) since his American Idol days but for the most part he seems like a solid individual and will probably be a good role model for others that wish to come out as well. But was he really telling us something we didn’t already know? I’m a little torn on this one. I guess I applaud his efforts but I feel like saying “DUH!”
My sister and I spoke briefly about the subject and she didn’t know why it has to be such a big deal. “He’s gay, who cares?” (Yes, I’m fortunate to have a family that tends to think that way most of the time.) But there are a lot of people that still get all fired up about the gay. Gay is a Big Deal for many people and a Big Bad Evil for quite a few as well. There are people obsessing day and night trying to determine the best way to eradicate the gay from the world (or at least the United States) so in that sense, Mr. Aiken did a brave thing by coming out. I applaud him and look forward to sharing the secret handshake with him at the next toaster points distribution meeting.
But, um, duh.
Side note: “Invisible” was originally done by a group called D-Side. I believe the group is from Dublin. I think you’ll note where Clay’s inspiration for his version came from. Enjoy the video.
I’m always amused when I read various blogs from big city folk and they talk about how the clubs are too busy and things are just too gay gay gay some days. There is just simply too much to do and they have no idea how they are going to fit it all into their schedule.1
After a one week absence, last night I DJ’d at the only gay club within 50 miles of our house. It’s my regular Friday night gig and one that I moderately enjoy. I have to tame my music selection considerably in order to keep the crowd’s attention, as the belief in these parts is that if you haven’t heard it regurgitated on the radio and can’t sing the words to it, it’s not worth the time or energy to dance to. At least I have gotten them trained to realise that remixes are o.k. and that super electronically augmented Britney is still super electronically augmented Britney regardless of what has been done to the song to make it a little more bearable.
There were less than 20 people in the club the entire night. At 12:50 a.m. I couldn’t continue the gig in good conscious and drain one of the cash registers with my appearance fee, so I slashed my prices faster than you can say Wal*Mart (Always White Trash, Always), popped in one of my pre-mixed CDs that would carry them to closing and said good night. It wasn’t that I couldn’t fill the dance floor with the music selection, there wasn’t anyone to get onto the dance floor to begin with. The club used to thrive and the dance floor used to be packed. Last night I considered shooting off a cannon to see if I could hit anyone.
At first I took this personally and figured that this old warhorse has run his course and can’t draw the crowds in like he used to. But as we made our way home Earl and I drove through the Brewery District and found all the clubs there dead as well. There just ain’t any people here.
That kind of sucks.
Earl and I do a lot of traveling to keep our schedules busy, to play with those that think like us and to find a day that is just too gay gay gay. So if you’re a reader from a big city that has managed to squeeze the time to read this entry into your hectic schedule, please be advised that there are many of us out here that have little to do outside of bitching about the small town we live in on our blog.
1 This is not to be confused with being too immersed in the culture. Sometimes too much of a good thing is really too much of a good thing, but it’s still a good thing.
Just a guy with a husband. We’ve been together 28 years and he still makes me see fireworks on a daily basis. Hiker. Storm Chaser. Private Pilot. Tech Guy. Hackerish.
Weird? Eccentric!