Warmth.

So I woke up this morning at 5:30 after a solid night’s sleep. It’s a wonderful feeling, waking up fully refreshed and ready to go for the day when you’re suppose to feel that way. The day has gone very well thus far and I think it is because of the good night’s sleep I had last night.

After feeling all refreshed and wide awake I looked out the window and was reminded that it was still dark outside. It’s still winter. As I looked out onto the driveway, I could see the shiny evidence of the sleet and ice mixture that they had predicted; the pinging of ice pellets against the window confirmed this observation. And there was no sign of a sunrise.

I love the darkness in that I love the vibe of it, but physically my body craves sunlight. It craves the warmth of the sun and I haven’t been feeling that lately. I’ve been very chilled and I want to be warmed to the core of my soul. I don’t want to be sunburned, I just want to feel warm.

Over the last couple of weeks I have gotten in the habit of wearing two jackets simultaneously to work. I wear my “trailer park hoodie” (as I call it) and then I wear my Carhartt jacket over that. This helps with some of the warmth that I’m looking for. I only wear this combination to work; when we go out to dinner or something I wear my leather jacket and I always feel chilled in that. I should wear my motorcycle jacket, but I have been told that I look too intimidating in that when walking into a nicer restaurant. Now that I’m typing this paragraph, I’ve discovered that I am in the mood to go somewhere to wear that motorcycle jacket. I think I have a goal for this coming weekend.

I still feel chilled though. I’m looking forward to our vacation in March. Sunny Florida does wonders to chase the chill away, and this time I’ll have a head start with the work travel I’ll be doing in a couple of weeks.

I just need to find some warmth. Some sunlight would be wonderful. I don’t like labels, but that whole Seasonal Affectation Disorder thing, though I try very hard to fight it, sometimes comes in with a vengeance.

And it’s presence always comes with a chill.

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