August 25, 2011


Earl will admit to anyone that cares to listen that his husbear is one that goes to extremes. For example, in my eyes the service isn’t bad, the service was tantamount to hysterically awful and the person responsible for it, and their superior, should be at the very least fired and there should be some consideration of caning anyone involved with my discomfort.

OK, maybe I’m not that bad but I tend to ramp up from 0 to 60 pretty quickly on certain occasions and people interpret this as either I’m wildly giddy or maniacally angry, depending on the circumstances, when in fact I’m happy or slightly miffed.

I have some suspicions as to why I’m this way and it would be rather tedious for the gentle reader to delve into a psychotherapy session right here on my blog, so instead I’m going to focus on something else. My tendencies for extremes is appreciated in my love for the weather. Yes, I love weather and if I could find a way to make a living at it, I would be chasing storms all over the globe and diving into situations that would normally scare the jebeebus out of people. This was blatantly apparent early this summer when we were driving through Cleveland on our way to Chicago; the radio blared with tornado warnings, trees were falling down all around us and water was sloshing up onto the sides of the Durango, but I wanted to see it all, despite the cries from my white knuckled, crying passengers. By the way, no one was injured in that adventure and we had a lovely long weekend together.

A few nights ago the National Weather Service issued a severe thunderstorm watch. The clouds mustered up a few ominous poses but then there was nothing. Well, ‘nothing’ probably isn’t the best word to describe the storm that passed through, but as god as my witness I have farted louder than the claps of thunder that these “severe” storms presented us with. Please. Don’t waste my time if you’re not going to do it right.

Around 4:30 this morning, without any warning from any of the weather radios in the house, we had a pretty impressive thunderstorm. Non-stop lightning, lots of accompanying thunder and a good, torrential rainfall for a little bit before sunrise. The wind could have been whipping harder to make it a little more to my liking, but I’ll take what I can get. Now this is what I’m talking about. I don’t know if it’s the rush of adrenaline I get or what, but if someone is going to muster up the energy to make a thunderstorm, it better be a good one. As I closed the windows throughout the house, I glanced at the weather radios and confirmed that the National Weather Service had nothing to say about the event. I then considered running outside into the wild weather but decided not to, mostly because Earl wasn’t feeling well and I didn’t want to needlessly worry him.

It was when we both officially woke up this morning that I told him I wanted to go on a road trip this weekend if he was up to it. When he asked where I wanted to go, I had a simple reply.

“I want to chase Irene.”

Now if Hurricane Irene is going to hit the Big Apple head on then I really don’t have an interest in it. I don’t want my view of one of Mother Nature’s more impressive displays to be obscured by skyscrapers, floating taxis and people running around like screaming mimis (most likely with a loaf of bread in each hand and a gallon of milk wedged into a pocket). I want to see hurricanes come in over the ocean from an open beach where I can get a panoramic view. I think that’s one of the reasons that I want to live in a relatively flat area. I want to see the blizzards come in, I want to see the rolling thunderstorms and I want to see tornados make their way across the landscape. Six inches of snow is a nuisance, four feet of snow is something worth talking about. Drizzle? Don’t waste my time. Flood it like you mean it. And let’s not even talk about a few poofs of wind. At least blow a tree down or something.

Of course I want to do all of this with a point of safety nearby. I’m not interested in jeopardizing my life needlessly. Personally, I wish I could be some sort of computer operator, administrator, whatever on a rig that went into these storms. I would love to be part of a team that’s learning from these extreme events. Anything to better the human experience with as much knowledge as possible.

So I don’t know if we’ll be meeting Irene head-on this weekend, but I’m sure I’ll be reviewing weather maps and watching videos from those that stand courageously as Mother Nature brings on her worst.

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