On Hold.

And on call week continues. It is currently 1:28 a.m. as I type this, I have been on hold with Verizon since 12:55 a.m. I will probably be on hold for another 30 minutes before someone picks up the phone. At least I’m getting paid for sitting here on hold.

I’d rather be asleep.

One of the worst aspects of this round of on call is that Verizon has decided to replace their suicide inducing selection of instrumental ditties on their hold music with some of the worst selection of vocal tracks that I have ever heard. They are all down tempo, intense, sad songs that make Debbie Boone’s “You Light Up My Life” sound like a snappy disco track. To keep it interesting, they have included a bunch of Christian rock ballads as well.

I miss the days when people would have fun songs for their hold music. The peppy sounds of big band intermingled with lovely messages such as “Thank you for calling Medical Billing. Press 1 to speak with a representative. Press 2 to hear ‘Happy Days Are Hear Again’. Press 3 to declare yourself clinically insane” are long gone in a sea of, pick one: 1. depressing music or 2. marketing messages cranked up to such an insane volume level that it makes Billy Mays sound like he’s whispering in church.

I just got off the phone with Norma, a Verizon representative that sounds like she just swallowed a Peterbuilt. She barked the trouble ticket status at me and wanted to know if I wanted them to fix it. I miss the days when Lily Tomlin said “We’re the phone company, we don’t have to care!” At least she didn’t bark, she snorted. Nevertheless I let Norma know that the music on hold was just terrible and she said she’s never had the opportunity to listen but I was the third person to comment on it tonight.

I’d finish this entry off with some snappy closing but instead I’m just going back to bed.

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