Connect This.

I’m pretty dependent on the internet, especially when I’m in bachelor mode with Earl being away for work. The internet is my main source of entertainment. I chat with friends over iChat, I watch videos, I make videos, I read up on all things geekly and I get good sized dollops of news via the tubes we call the ‘net.

It’s not nice to fool with my internet connection.

A couple of weeks ago our high speed internet connection over cable (RoadRunner) died. The Fine Folks At Time Warner promptly sent a tech out to our home 72 hours later. Said tech had no testing equipment that worked with him, so he put a signal booster on our cable, said a prayer to the cable gods and viola, instant mediocrity which he said was the fastest experience they could provide. He was cute, but he was a liar.

Don’t mess with the geek.

On Sunday the internet started crapping out again (surprise!) so I made a call into Time Warner once again and made them adhere to my schedule; send someone out after my work hours. They promised a tech after 5 p.m. today. He called at 2:45 and wanted to know where I was.

It’s not nice to fool with my internet connection.

Slightly irritated but pleasant nonetheless, I coaxed him into coming after 5 p.m. He said he’d be here at 5. He arrived at 6:30.

“There’s nothing I can do”, said the cross-eyed, twangy sounding tech. He then ran out the front door to calm the four kids that were bouncing in the back of the service van. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

“Your tap runs under the driveway and you have your own private tap and we are not allowed past the tap.”

“There have been many techs here over the years and they’ve all climbed the poles. They used their ladders and everything.”, I retorted.

He threw a bit of a hissy fit, as only a cross-eyed twangy sounding tech can do. That’s when our sometimes working connection died completely.

He then packed up to leave.

“Uh, it’s not working at all, you need to undo what you just did.”

A few more hisses and fits and it was once again cooking with blazing mediocrity.

“I just called in to the dispatch center and they’re going to send a line crew. They’ll probably have to tear up your driveway but we’ll get your internet going right fast.”, he said.

Earl is simply going to kill me if there’s a ditch across the driveway when he gets home tomorrow night.