January 15, 2007

The latest season of American Idol is just around the corner. I wasn’t going to watch this go around, but since Paula is already at full tilt, I have tune in to see if the ingredients of her “secret recipe” (a la the Baldwin Sisters) are revealed.

Here’s her latest slurfest on YouTube.

This afternoon I embarked on a rarely traveled boulevard in our happy little home; I cleaned the master bathroom from top to bottom and left to right. To make the task even more enjoyable, I turned on the bedroom television and tuned in Lifetime around 4:30, expecting to catch “The Golden Girls”. I surprised to find that they were running their new game show, “Gay, Straight or Taken” in it’s place.

Ugh. I think.

First of all, this program has all the earmarks of that trainwreck “Boy Meets Boy” with a revolving cast. I think it’s kind of demeaning to all parties involved for the primary contestant to have to figure out who’s gay, who’s straight and who’s taken. This afternoon’s female participant was particularly clueless, because she didn’t guess the correct guy for being the gay one and used the “let me see your fingernails” urban legend as one aspect of her barometer. Please. I had the gay one picked out within the first 15 seconds. He had more chiffon shooting out of his mouth than Marilyn Monroe, and he went a little wild about the woman’s purse pooch that she was carrying. All that was missing was the flashing neon pink triangle flashing over his head.

“Ring, ring.” It’s the cluephone, and it’s for you, Miss Contestant.

She picked the well groomed guy as the gay one. That’s so 1999.

Anyway, I’m not going to go out of my way to search out another one of these episodes. I feel like it was 30 minutes of my life that I won’t get back.

But at least I got the toilet clean in the process.