April 29, 2005

Loner.

I’ve always been a bit of a loner. Not to sound cocky, but I like me and I like spending time alone. When I was in kindergarten, Mrs. Mosher wrote on my report card, “John seems to be a bit of a loner.” I don’t know what gave her that idea. Perhaps it was that time that I was sitting on the two-person rocking thing alone, minding my own business, when this girl Charlotte came up and sat on the other side, wanting to rock. I yelled at her “Leave me alone” and jumped down hard on my side, essentially flinging her off the toy and running to Mrs. Mosher crying. Come to think of it, Mrs. Mosher also told my mother that I was probably mentally retarded. I guess I didn’t fit in with her philosophy, “No child is essentially different from any other child.” Ah, the fine memories of kindergarten. And no, I don’t believe that I am mentally retarded. I’m just odd.

Anyways, I have dreams of retiring to the desert, 75 miles from any other civilization, living in an open air home, solar powered, with a very deep drilled well for water and a kick-ass satellite internet connection. Human interaction would be kept to when I drove into the nearest town to get whatever groceries I couldn’t grow. I wouldn’t live like a bum or anything, I would just be devoid of the irritations I find in the general public.

And this is where you ask yourself, “But what about Earl?” That’s a good question, thank you for asking.

Earl is really the only person I’ve ever let into my “alone space”. It’s kind of hard to explain, but when Earl and I are together, I still consider myself “alone”. Now this is not to be confused with “lonely”, because I’m never lonely when I’m alone. So in my little desert dream, Earl is right there along with me doing the solar powered thing. I guess Earl is the only person that has ever been able to co-exist with me in my own little world. He allows me to engage my loner tendencies from time to time. I can’t think of any other person, outside of my immediate family (they ‘get’ me, for the most part), that has really tried to understand my little world. I’m a lucky guy to find someone that comes into my space so easily.