March 2005


I was listening to the gay radio station on Sirius radio this afternoon on the way home from lunch and I heard them talking about the executive director of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. I’ve mentioned that I plan on riding in the Ride for Missing Children again this year, as I did back in 2003. According to this show I was listening to, the Executive Director made some somewhat homophobic remarks about gays being in the Boy Scouts and that old tired story.

It’s got me thinking about whether I want to ride in the Ride this year or make a charitable donation to a more open-minded, child-oriented charity instead. Would my contribution to the ride be welcome?

Something to think about.

Springing Through The Week.

Today is officially a sweet day. The birds are coming back home after vacationing in the south for the winter. The sun is out. The temperatures are in the mid 50s. The snow is disappearing quickly.

It’s days like these that make it all worthwhile. On-call doesn’t seem as bad. Worries seem to follow the snow and disappear.

Tom is getting a little picky with going outside as he gets older. When he first joined the family eight years ago, he was outside regardless of weather. Even in the deadest of winter, he’d go out, sit on the porch and survey the area to make sure everything was as he intended. Since moving to the new house last year, he doesn’t seem nearly as interested in going out in the wintertime. It’s the same routine day after day. He’ll make motions like he wants to go out. I’ll open the door. He’ll sniff the air, catch a glimpse of something and stare at it for about 10 seconds, twitch his tail three times and then he’s done. As the nicer weather grabs hold, now he’s in and out like a yo-yo. Out the back door. In the front door. Out the front door. In the back door. This afternoon I’ve finally given up and just left the back door open during my lunch hour. There’s really no bugs to worry about this time of year, and the fresh air does wonders for the house. And he can come and go as he pleases. Since I’ve started writing this entry, he’s been in and out around 15 times. A stroll around the deck, inside to eat two bites of kibble and then back outside. I think my lunch hour is disturbing his routine or something.

My only frustration with the onset of spring is that I can’t get out there and ride my bike because of on-call week. I’m hoping that everything stays nice through next week so I can get out there Monday night and do some serious training. The Ride For Missing Children is a month and a half away, and I need to get my legs in shape. By the way, if you’re interested in contributing to this worthy cause, please contact me. Any amount is most welcome.

If you get the opportunity, get out and enjoy the weather. Put some spring in your step!

Strike A Pose.

With Earl out of town tonight and with me on call, I was a little bored. So I decided to fool around with our digital camera and see what I could do with a tripod and a timer. I even played “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred and turned on the fan to blow around my hair. Having a shaved head and all, you probably couldn’t tell.

Here’s my “bad boy” look.

Electronic Leashes and Mondays.

Today I started another week of on-call duty. I have mixed feelings about the whole on-call thing. On one hand, the geek in me really appreciates the fact that I have the responsibility of on-call and that a whole telephone network is relying on my organization and knowledge to keep it running. God help us all. On the other hand, when I’m on call I feel like I have an electronic leash in the form of a pager. I’m unable to cross an imagined boundary around our house lest I get zapped and beckoned back. Last time I was on call I tried to eat in the mall food court. I had just paid the cashier and had been handed my chopsticks when “beep beep beep beep beep!”, a SigAlert for WonderTech. I shot away the food after nibbling one bite of my Bourbon Chicken and headed out, looking for the closest phone booth or better yet, a dark corner where I could spin into my WonderTech stars and stripes.

I had a friend who got one of those electronic dog collars for his dog. He proclaimed the wonders of the Invisible Fence. Being a true humanitarian, he tried the collar on himself and ran across the fence’s boundary to feel what it did to his dog. It knocked him on his ass.

What a fool.

This whole electronic leash concept can be frustrating at times. I’m not one to be bound against my will, kinky weekends in the woods notwithstanding. (Did you hear that sound like someone was falling out of a chair? It was my mother collapsing on the floor as she read that last sentence). Anyways, I think of myself as a free spirit. Quicksilver. A fleeting shadow, a distant sound… now I’m paraphrasing Endora’s speech in the second episode of Bewitched.

Anyways, when I’m on call I end up surfing the internet. A lot. You’d think I’d be sick of the computer since I have to stare at it all day and half the night. But I always find little interesting tidbits to look at. For example, way back in December I mentioned that Earl and I saw another bearish couple while we Christmas shopping but didn’t know who they were or where they were from. We just exchanged knowing glances, a wave and moved on. Surfing around for information on the upcoming pride celebrations this spring, I found one of the guys pictured on a site about a gay sculpture being erected in Rochester (It’s by the Atlantic-Beacon Sculpture Committee). That was kind of cool. It certainly makes this world seem like a much smaller place!

As far as Mondays go, this one hasn’t been too bad. I’ve started working out again. Thank goodness for my iPod. It makes cycling and jumping around like a fool, all in the name of exercise, bearable. I’ve found that working out in the morning kickstarts the day in a good way.

I’d tell you more, but my leash in beeping.

Startled Web Designer.

I like to think of myself as an organized geek. Everything has a place and every place has a thing, even on a hard drive or webserver. Imagine my surprise when I found this page buried on our website.

I made this page quite a while ago and somehow never built a link to it. I had completely forgotten about it. That’s not like me. Being my dramatic self, I wonder if I’m slowly losing my damn near perfect memory as time goes on.

What was I saying?

Evil Sweet Innocence.

I routinely blab about my desire to lose some weight and eat healthy. It’s been somewhat difficult following that path the past week or two, mostly because I’m lazy, a little bit due to the weather and somewhat because of my surgery two weeks ago. However, there is one other factor contributing to my binging ways.

It’s Girl Scout Cookies season.

Earl and I had thought that we had made it through Girl Scout Cookies season unscathed. “We made it through without a ton of Simoas!” “Thin Mints be damned, we’re going to be thin!”

Last Sunday Earl and I did a little shopping. On our way out of Media Play, I noticed a card table stacked with colorful boxes, a hand lettered decorative sign and a cute young lady decorated with pins and badges like a four star general, accompanied by her adult chaperone. She smiled an innocent little smile and asked “Would you like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies?”

How can you say no to that innocent face.

Being victims of Girl Scout Cookies seasons of past, we instantly noticed that there was a new type of cookies this year. I’d tell you the name, but the box never made it home. These cookies, as described by our salesperson, “if you like icing and cinnamon with a touch of strawberry, these cookies are for you” were absolutely delightful. Earl and I weren’t even out of the store parking lot before the plastic was removed and we were downing the cookies.

As I wiped the crumbs off my face with my sleeve, eyes glazed in sugar induced nirvana, I gazed at the back of the box looking at the nutrition information. “200 calories”. Two hundred? For this whole box?

Silly me. For two cookies. I didn’t even want to venture into fat grams land.

Oh well. That was the best 1,200 calories pig fest I had enjoyed in a long while. You’d think that we had consumed our $3.00 purchase quickly and that the Girl Scout Cookies threat was over with for the year.


We’d actually purchased four, as in one, two, three, four, as in thousands of calories, as in Thin Mints, Simoas, Peanut Butter somethings and these cookies I can’t remember the name of.

Maybe we’ll have better luck next year.

A Philosophical Musing.

At work we have a 13-inch television that constantly shows CNN. The volume is turned all the way down, so we kind of have to improvise with what’s going on with the screen. Unfortunately, it’s been rather easy this week. It’s all about Terri Schiavo.

I understand that Mrs. Schiavo’s family is going through a lot of turmoil, to put it mildly. I understand that there are many ways you can look at the situation. I guess I’ll have to throw my two cents into the ring.

I believe that people should be able to do what they want without fear of human reprisal, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. That’s why I am reading and studying wicca, the wiccan rede is “An ye harm none, do what ye will.” If everyone believed in that and would just mind their own business, the world would be a better place.

As I see it, Mrs. Schiavo’s lungs are functioning without mechanical assistance. Her heart beats as a normal heart would, again without medical assistance. They say her brain activity is minimal. But she still has brain activity. Her time has not come, for if it had she would no longer be with us. She would have crossed to the other side by now.

I do not believe the government should be involved with this situation. Quite frankly, it’s none of our business and really shouldn’t be plastered all over the cable news networks, network news, newspapers and internet. This is for the family to sort out without legal, public or media intervention. That being said, I do not believe Terri Schiavo should be lying in a bed starving to death. I can not imagine what her husband is going through. Nor her parents. But I do know that her heart still beats and her lungs still function. Again, it would appear that her time has not come. And those that are living should receive food. God, the Goddess, the Universe, whomever you pray to, is all-perfect. They do not make mistakes. Terri Schiavo is here for a reason. When her time comes, she shouldn’t die of hunger.

Geek On Wheels.

I decided to celebrate the arrival of spring by spending lunch time out and about rather than dashing home at a mad pace. For the most part, throughout the winter my lunch has been a relaxing exercise of shooting home at frenetic pace, eating lunch en route, petting the cat and surfing the ‘net and writing my latest piece of witty blog wonder and returning to work with two minutes to spare.

Anyways, today I needed something different. So I decided to go wardriving. For those not familiar with the exercise, wardriving involves bringing along a notebook computer or something else that can sniff out Wi-Fi networks and seeing if they’re available for public consumption. I’ve mentioned before that I’m a good guy in that I don’t try to crack the security of any networks I find. Serious wardrivers bring along their GPS units and write down the location coordinates, where you can submit the data to a mapping website for all the world to see. I would be doing the same, but I was stumbling around this morning at 5:30 and neglected to pack to the GPS hardware.

I did find a wonderful Wi-Fi spot at the local Radisson Hotel that is completely free. I tried to inconspicuously park outside the Radisson so that I could surf the internet but I felt somewhat dirty doing so, like I was stalking someone. Like I should be wearing a trench coat and holding my hand between my legs. I know that’s a weird thought that may offer insight as to what goes on in my head, but there you are.

So after the Radisson I moved along to a local Bagel shop who advertises free internet access. However, the hotspot was nowhere to be found. I considered going inside and peeking around but resisted the urge after deciding that I wouldn’t be able to leave without an “Everything” Bagel. Those “Everything” Bagels are wonderful, but they don’t fit the diet well and my breath afterwards melts anything within 10 feet of me. Not sexy but oh so good. Maybe next time.

Rumor has it that McDonald’s has internet access at its stores. As usual, our McDonalds must be left out of the loop as their was no access at the two stores I visited. Hell, we just got the Big Mac a couple of years ago. It was easy to resist any urges to visit that restaurant.

So now I’m at the baseball stadium parking lot that Earl and I eat lunch at in the summertime. I wonder if the house across the street figured out that their internet connection was completely insecure, because I can’t access it anymore. Maybe they just moved.

Quickdraw Mc Graw.

Earl mentioned to me last night that my blog has been well, boring, to the average reader during the month of March. I guess he can’t believe how much I’ve obsessed about my surgery and associated failings. He said that he hadn’t realized how much this was affecting me.

He should know better than that. Every man, gay or straight, obsesses about his penis.

Now I mentioned yesterday that I wasn’t really going to talk about my surgery anymore, since it appeared that everything had gone as planned and everything was working properly.

I lied, but just a little bit.

I am just so giddy with excitement that I can urinate like every other man in the world now. I am drink tons of water just to see it come out! “Wow, look at that! All done in less than 10 seconds! It used to take a really long time!” I want to play show and tell – I want to beckon people into the bathroom with me and do my thing in the urinal and say “Look what I can do now! I could never do that before!”. I suppose that would be a terribly unprofessional thing to do at work and would probably result in some sort of indecency charge. So I restrain myself from doing that.

I feel like some sort of huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders! In the past 24 hours I’ve been more confident about myself than ever. People at work today have commented that I “look good”, even though I’m wearing the same clothes and carrying the same hairstyle (bald) I have since they met me. It’s like that viagara commercial without the viagara, but with the same result!

Oh well. I just had to get that out of my system. Thanks for being patient with me.