Life Is Such A Sweet Insanity.

I find it absolutely amazing that I have been married for as long as I have. Newly married or partnered couples often worry that something big and damaging is going to happen to their relationship. I’ve got news for you. The big stuff you can handle, it’s the little stuff that’s so grating.

Take late last night for example. In short, I was a dick.

Earlier in the evening I made some adjustments to our wireless network, hoping to increase performance. The changes involved slight configurations on our iBook and PowerBook. As with all computer changes, there was room for error. After a wonderful evening of catching up on TiVo and watching American Idol, we played around on the internet a little bit before calling a night. Earl went to print, and was unable to, due to the changes I had made earlier in the evening.

For some reason, I took this as a compromise in my ‘geekulinity’. I had to face the fact that I made a mistake and was not as perfect as I pictured myself to be.

Did I do the mature thing and simply fix his computer? Of course I didn’t. I took it out on him. He obviously didn’t click ‘print’ hard enough.

I can be such a jerk.

So naturally when I realized I was being an ass, I tried to cover it up with humor, which fell flatter than a fart in church. Long story short, there was tension in the air when we went to bed.

Have I learned a lesson here? I hope so. That’s the important part… to move past a rough spot and learn from your mistakes.

My brother- and almost sister-in-law got me a nifty hat for Christmas. I love this hat and am pretty much wearing it all the time around the house. I thought I’d model it, since tonight seems to be the night for excessive blog entries.

I like this hat because it’s all black, including the Phillies logo on the front, and it doesn’t have that big gap in the back that leaves a weird sunburn on my shaved head.

Wow! Three posts in one day. I’m on a roll.

In our office at work, we constantly have CNN on the screen. We never have the volume up, so we kind of have to figure out what’s going on on the screen without audio assist. The past two days we’ve had to look at Condoleezza Rice and her whole confirmation deal.

Why does little Condy always look so cranky? She’s always got a furrowed brow, hair moving only with her eyebrows, as if they’re all attached as one unit. Perhaps they are. There’s no twinkle in her eye. No spunk. Just a moving mouth, hairdo and set of eyebrows.

When does Condy let her hair down? What is she like off camera? Does she dance on the Xerox machine at office parties? Does she do a performance of “The Jackal” a la C J Cregg on The West Wing for good old Bush lite? I don’t think so. She’s the type that sits in the corner, adding the sour to her Whiskey Sour. She says ‘yes’ a lot.

I realize that not everyone can have the “gosh, darn I’m just normal folk” grin on their face like good old dubbya, but Condy honey, you need to lighten up a little. Perhaps all that Soviet study made her cranky.

Or maybe she knows more than she’d like to admit about the state of the world.

I didn’t even put up a fight this year. I’ve watched every minute of American Idol 4 and I must say that I have enjoyed it immensely. Ryan Seacrest looks great as always. Not my usual type, but for some reason I have a soft spot for him. Perhaps its his prevalent five o’clock shadow. As far as the judges go, Randy isn’t using “pitchy” as an adjective, Simon is his usual surly self and Paula, while appearing high, has a great deal of spunk and isn’t all sunshin-y day. She’s keeping it real and so am I.

I figured there was no sense in being all high and mighty and shunning American Idol, because I give in to the show anyways, might as well watch it from the beginning. Plus, Earl enjoys the show and we don’t spend enough time together as it is, so why boycott the show while he’s watching it.

Watch for me on the idolonfox.com message boards!

Over the past couple of months, I have been trumpeting about the wonders of Apple, the Mac and Mac OS X. If you think that this blog entry is a retraction of any previous statements, you’re barking up the wrong tree.

No, my gripe is with Microsoft Windows.

You see, I have to use Windows XP Professional at work. Now I’ve always prided myself on the fact that I have run a virus-free, spyware-free Windows machine. With a lot of luck and a lot of extra work, Windows XP can be kept virus and spyware free. I’ve been able to stay ahead the game. Until today.

Somehow, my work computer became infected with a virus. After struggling (and losing productivity) for about an hour and a half, I was able to get the virus off my system. One of the interesting things it did was make my recycle bin show “full” and then prompt me with “Are you sure you want to delete WINDOWS from the recycle bin?” when I tried to empty it.

All is back to normal now. But I had to run home for lunch and play with my PowerBook to regain my sanity.

I’ve found the secret to maintaining a healthy, comfortable weight and lifestyle. You actually have to do something. Instead of slaving away on an exercise bike in the cellar, I’ve discovered that if I actually get off my ass and do some housework and other domestic chores, I actually feel better physically and emotionally. I feel like I’ve accomplished something, rather than looking at the four walls of the basement, waiting for the clock to click ahead 25 minutes.

It started on Sunday when I was viciously attacked by a dust bunny in the bedroom. Here we have this beautiful house but I was letting it get so dusty and cluttered! I sucked my way through the house (with a vacuum cleaner of course), dusting like a fool, polishing furniture, fluffing up pillows, washing walls. I’m out of breath just thinking about it! I got caught up with the laundry. I even Dryel-led a sweater that I haven’t worn since 1999 because it was too much work to get it dry cleaned! Too bad it doesn’t fit anymore.

Yesterday I continued the saga, keeping up on the laundry, putting everything in its place and not going to bed until the washer, dryer, dishwasher and litter box were empty (save for the fresh litter in the litter box).

And tonight I am cooking supper when Earl gets home, and I’m not even going to have to dial up takeout to do it!

Though I probably haven’t earned my spot on Wisteria Lane yet, I’m thoroughly enjoying my huzbear* role. And I look and feel fabulous while doing it!

* for those of you who don’t know what a ‘huzbear’ is, bear with me, the whole explanation is coming soon. I’ve been too busy cooking and cleaning to finish up my huzbear page.

It’s a beautiful, chilly day in Upstate N.Y. here in mid January. Even though it was 30 degrees warmer last week, I’m enjoying the weather today. Why? Because the sun is out.

It’s amazing what sunlight can do for the psyche. I’m not a big fan of bright lights. I should say that I’m not a big fan of bright artificial lighting, especially fluorescent lighting. Even though light bulb manufacturers advertise and mark their fluorescent tubes as “cool white” or “warm glow”, I still find the light from them quite harsh. Very distracting. Very artificial.

I’m nearly fanatical (big shocker there) about the light bulbs in the house. I try not to get bulbs bigger than 60 watts. I opt to employ many lights, rather than bright lights. Plus, I always go for the blue “natural” light bulbs that have surfaced over the past couple of years. Around my plants, I always use “grow bulbs”. I’m trying to rationalize the purchase of one of those “full spectrum natural lights” you see in the health section of the grocery store, but it seems like they’re too darn expensive (almost $10 for one light bulb!) and for my frivolous ways.

Being out in the sunlight, even though I’m bundled up with hat, gloves and heavy jacket, does wonders to improve my mood and energy for the rest of the workday. Maybe I should get one of those full spectrum lights for my nightstand, I might not be so cranky when I get up in the morning.

For once, I’m writing a technology-related blog entry about someone else. While I’m always one to adopt new technology and try to incorporate it into my life as fast as possible, I’m finding that Earl is ahead of me on the curve on this one.

His company just bought him a Blackberry.

If you’re not familiar with these little packages of silicon goodness, let me fill you in. Using cellular phone technology, this is basically a little computer that fits in the palm of your hand, keeping you up to date with your important e-mails, appointments, phone book and of course, solitaire game. Unlike most Palm Pilots or Pocket PCs, a Blackberry has a little keyboard on it, does not (to my knowledge) employ a touchscreen or stylus and does everything but tell you what time you need to take a crap. Come to think of it, you could probably program it to tell you when to take a bathroom break.

But I digress.

Earl pretty much set his up solo this morning while he was at work. I got him started and then let him run with it. I was hoping to bounce on the boss’ knee while I was visiting him at work, but no, he wanted to set up the Blackberry.

So now it’s routinely vibrating on the kitchen counter as another Sigalert is beamed into it. “Stop the Lobster Thermador, let me read my e-mail!” he joyously proclaims.

As I borrow his iBook to type this blog entry, he is randomly uttering commands he’s typing into his Blackberry. He just said “Name” with a perplexed look on his face. There has been no follow up. I’m really resisting the urge to say “Earl…”.

Anyways, I joke and poke fun at him as he embraces his Blackberry, but actually I’m quite happy that he has it. I can now send him love notes and know that he gets them right away, rather than finding a chance to check his e-mail while he’s on the road.

Ain’t technology grand.

Being the computer guru that I am, I often get e-mails, phone calls and pleas from friends and family members when spyware and viruses have taken over their Windows machines. Rest assured that you’re not alone.

Last night I had the most incredible dream. It was very vivid. Full of color, texture, smells and sounds. Earl was hosting a party in honor of me. I know this sounds extremely self centered, but what can you do. Anyways, I dreamed that Earl was hosting my graduation party, because I had finally graduated from college as an elementary school teacher. All of my family and friends were there, even friends I hadn’t seen in years, and family that has passed on long ago. I was introducing Earl to my grandmothers. I recall being so happy that he was finally able to meet them and give them a hug. I even introduced Earl to Waldo, our cat from my childhood. He was courteous.

I have no idea where this dream generated from. I haven’t thought about going back to school in a long while. I messed around with the idea three or four years ago, but decided not to pursue being an elementary school teacher because I’m basically a coward. Maybe I’m lazy. I don’t want to deal with the problems of being an openly gay man and being an elementary school teacher in Upstate New York. I refuse to hide who I am. So I put that idea aside.

Whatever prompted this dream, I’m grateful for it. I woke up this morning feeling refreshed, positive and energized. I’m ready to take on the day.