Sometimes simple is better. So I shut the lid on the PowerBook and went outside and just enjoyed the beautiful weather.
A breath of fresh air is always a good thing.
Decisions.
Earl is heading to Tampa this weekend to catch the Eagles game. I was originally suppose to be on-call this weekend, but I swapped with a co-worker to be a nice guy, so I won’t be going to Tampa with Earl.
What to do.
I see a road trip in my future this weekend. A really long road trip so that I can enjoy the Acura before buttoning it up for the winter. I’ve narrowed down my choices to Indiana, Massachusetts or Tennessee. Maybe Maine.
Such decisions to make.
And Mother Nature Was There Too.
So last night I DJ’d for the first time in a long while in the fine city of Buffalo, N.Y. Still recovering from their early blizzard the day before, many parts of the city were still without power and there were downed trees everywhere. And I mean *everywhere*.
Despite this, there was power in the downtown area, so we met up with our friends Steve and Tim and Tony and Bob and went to dinner at a little place called Fat Bob’s. The food was pretty good and the company was excellent. It had been way too long since we’d seen our friends in Buffalo, so we had a lot of catching up to do. Afterwards we went to bear night at Buddies where I played music for a small crowd. A really small crowd. Like 50 people tops. Nevertheless, I had a good percentage of those in attendance on the dance floor. Our friend Steve even tipped me for a request: “You Spin Me ‘Round” by Dead or Alive. (Note to self: while the tip was much appreciated, I need to buy Steve a drink or two). I played all my music from my PowerBook, Hercules USB DJ console and the program Traktor and it performed flawlessly. I was quite pleased with my performance last night, if I do say so myself, and the bar owner asked me to come back out there again.
Now Earl and I are installed back at home and ready to take on the work week. And I’m ready for my next DJ gig.
Saturday Night 70s Chic.
Long before Destiny’s Child butchered this song a couple of years ago, we had Samantha Sang’s (with a little help from the Bee Gees) “Emotion”.
Here’s the video on YouTube. Enjoy.
Buffalo, N. Y.
The sign on the Thruway proclaimed “Exit 48, Route 98, Batavia, 1 mile”. Having already driven 2 1/2 hours, sat in a traffic jam and seen two accidents along “New York’s Main Street”, we were still headed west toward Buffalo. Notorious for their cold and snow, the Buffalo area had already had a major snowstorm within the past 48 hours, where over two feet of snow had fallen.
And it was a wet, heavy snow.
Even though we’d only gotten as far as Batavia, with almost 40 miles to go until we reached the Buffalo area, there was evidence of a winter wonderland all around us. The colors of the fall foliage was punctuated with a background of white. And it was beautiful.
As we made our way into the city, everywhere you looked was snow. Snow, snow, snow. And lots and lots of downed trees and tree limbs. And dark traffic signals. It seems kind of extraneous to be DJing at a bar in downtown Bufffalo tonight, when large sections of the area still are without power. But, as they say, the show must go on, and tonight I’ll be doing my thing and trying to keep the party goers pumped for a fun evening.
Let’s hope the power stays on.
October 13, 1996.
We’d only been living together for a month. Heck, we’d only been dating for six months. He’d met the family once or twice and my father still referred to him as “the guy with the tattoo on his leg.” I’d met his family and they didn’t know what to think of me. They were wondering how the two of us fit into a single bed that one weekend we’d spent with them. And here we were climbing a mountain in the Adirondacks together.
What had Earl gotten himself into?
“There better be something worth looking at up here”, he proclaimed. “There is, I promise”, hoping to sound reassuring. I was loving the experience, the smell of the autumn air, the unusually warm October day, the vibrant colors found at this time of year in this part of the state.
A small notion at the back of my head made me wonder if Earl really had known what he’d gotten himself into when he saddled up with the likes of me. We traveled the well-worn path hrough the trees. The climb was steady, but not terribly difficult. There had been enough traffic through here to keep any sort of wildlife quiet. I had to remember that I had fallen in love with a “city boy” of sorts who, while not afraid of a challenge by any means, still had to wash his hands after petting a cow or still was amazed at the “hair styles” on the chickens at the State Fair.
And here I was taking him to the top of a mountain.
After the half hour or so climb, we came upon a rocky, flat area. We had reached the top. Twenty or so people in groups of different sizes, some accompanied by their dogs, had already reached the same destination. And they were overlooking the Fulton Chain of Lakes just as we were. The beauty was inspiring. The vibe was serene.
The moment was *perfect*.
We took in a few moments of scenery when I turned to Earl, took him by the hand, and led him off the rocky area and onto a bed of pine needles. The evergreens loomed majestically over us.
I looked at him for a moment, my stomach churned as I took a breath and he looked at me, and almost instinctively knew what I was about to do.
“Don’t do it unless you mean it.”, he cautioned. He was already tearing up.
It was at that moment that I got down on my knee, in front of twenty people in groups of various sizes, some accompanied by their dogs, and said, “The past six months have been amazing. I think I’ve been looking for you all my life. Will you marry me?”
I was tearing up myself at that point.
It was then that he responded with a “yes”.
It was kind of odd that I proposed to him, or that he would even propose to me, because Earl and I don’t really fit into the “traditional roles” that most expect of gay couples. We both can be very aggressive. We both can be very passive. We both can lead and both of us can follow. It’s a matter of synchronization I guess, and well, because it was meant to be, it works for us.
So it was ten years ago today that Earl and I said that “yes, we will get ready to say ‘I do'”. It’s not really your traditional anniversary, but then again, we’ve always done our own thing.
And yes, I’d do it all over again without hesitation. What can I say? I’m in love.
Friday SAW Quota.
Enjoy a little retro Stock-Aiken-Waterman on your Friday with the help of Sir Cliff Richard.
Back In The Booth.
I will be spinning at Buddies II in Buffalo this coming Saturday night. It’s my first time DJing in over a year and I’m very excited about it. The Buffalo Bears are a great group of guys. If you’re in the area, stop by for a great night of fun! And be sure to say hello!
School Daze.
You know I’ve been thinking a lot about these school shootings lately. I know I’m not the only one in the country thinking about them but I can’t really shake the sadness I feel from them.
Is this is what our society has become?
Thirty years ago when I was in second grade, I had two major concerns going on in school. The first was how I would be able to dance with Joyce Roberts during square dancing in gym class. You see, I just loved Joyce and she was always fun to dance with, but she was tall. Very tall. How would I reach up to her to put my hands around her to dance? The other concern was that the elementary school had just purchased three new film projectors, and as Mrs. Hayden’s designated class film projector operator (she had to keep me busy, these days I’d probably be zoned out on ritalin), I had better know how to run these new fangled Singer film projectors. I heard they were much different than those made by Bell & Howell.
And that was the extent of my worries in elementary school. If I were that age today, would I have to worry that I was going to be shot by some madman that had broken into the school? My goodness, I don’t think the thought of someone breaking into the school crossed anyone’s mind back then.
The world has become so crazy. When I think of those young girls in that Amish school in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, my soul jumps through so many emotions. Obviously sadness, on several levels. Incredibly, however, I also feel a sense of awe and honor. Some accounts say that two of the older girls volunteered to be shot first in the hopes that the others could escape unscathed. The word admirable does not even begin to describe the courage of these two young women as they saw, accepted and sealed their fate at the hands of a madman.
Many advocate for the abolishment of guns completely. Of course you really can’t do that because you’d be trampling on the rights of citizens, but there certainly needs to be many, many more gun control mechanisms in place.
I have many questions, but like others, I don’t have many answers.
Respect.
Today is National Coming Out Day. For those unfamiliar with the term, a quick explanation might be in order. On National Coming Out Day, gay men and women announce to those around them that they’re gay, be it a family member, a co-worker, the newspaper or the world. It’s a support mechanism of sorts in order to show the world and each other, there are a lot of us, and we’re not alone.
I’ve never had to come out on National Coming Out Day because ever since my first day of college I’ve been pretty much out (and somewhat before then). Well, I take that back. In the early days I didn’t deny that I was gay by any means but I didn’t discuss it if the subject didn’t come up. I now look at that as sort of a cowardly approach. Now I don’t think one should be sitting around the dining room table at a family gathering and declare, “The chicken is delicious, please pass the salt, by the way I’m gay, how about some fudge for dessert?”
While my early approach lasted until 1990 or so with many (I had told a few folks back in the mid 80s)and the mid 90s with a selected few (mostly my family), my commitment to Earl changed my feelings about how out I was going to be. I was in love (still am!) and for the first time in my life, I felt that I had found the love of my life and I wanted the world to know it. I hid from no one. And you know what? It was around that time that I felt I earned the respect of those around me. My family members, my friends and my co-workers truly respected me. I wasn’t hiding anything. I wasn’t in a closet peeking out of the louvers like some weird Hee-Haw skit, here I was, door wide open, take me as I am. And you know what else? If they didn’t like me because I’m gay than I guess we didn’t really have much in common anyway.
Now I don’t believe in standing up and making this huge proclamation that you’re gay. While I occasionally have a flair for the dramatic (I could be the long lost son of Maurice and Endora), I don’t believe in making a big deal about it. It’s not a big deal. I’m gay, so what. If it’s a big deal to you, well, that’s your problem. If you try to restrict my rights or beliefs or disrespect me or my partner because of it, well, then we have a different sort of problem that probably isn’t going to be pretty.
At my last job interview (which was for my current job of two years, by the way), I was able to confirm to my future supervisor and department director about my sexual orientation without having some awkward conversation. I didn’t change or neutralize the pronouns when talking about my personal life, my partner is a “he” and he’ll always be a “he”. And I still got the job. It was one of the biggest breaths of fresh air I ever had in my life simply becuase I was just being honest. I wasn’t worried that I would be looked over for the position just because I’m gay; if that’s the reason they pass me over then I don’t want to be working for them anyway. No hiding, no secrets, I am what I am.
So if you’re gay, peeking around the closet door and wondering what to do today, just take a step out and tell someone, anyone, that you’re gay, even if it means admitting it to yourself by looking at your image in the mirror. You deserve the self-respect and those around deserve the respect of you telling them the truth.
