Our first flight on Virgin America. You get a smile, you get a smile and you get a smile.
Words.
The lyrics, melody,instrumentation and vocalization of this track touch me in a way that is impossible for me to describe with mere words. Ethereal. Transcendent. Grounding. Fleeting. The proper way to listen to this track is with a pair of quality noise canceling headphones. Don’t miss a beat. Don’t miss the depth of the harmonies. Let your thoughts soar with the angelic vocals. Be breathless with the vocalist.
I wish I could paint the thoughts that come forth in a giant three dimensional watercolor full of motion. Pulsating colors of joy dancing around with soaring bursts of brilliance. My painting would be an incredibly beautiful picture with moving swirls of gold and silver and purple and blue. The color green is frolicking amongst the movement of the other hues. The vibrance is one of joy. The movement is fueled by passion. The destination is unknown for the journey is never ending. The motion is forward and upward. Dreams soar amongst these beautiful colors dancing on my canvas.
It’s the canvas of my life. It’s my canvas of 2017. No darkness. No doom. Gold, silver, purple, blue and green. Take a leap of faith. It’s time to paint the next part of my journey. A moment of clarity. Brilliant clarity as it dances in colors within my view.
“Illuminating” by Haley from the album “All This Love”.
If I’m awake, then I can’t tell
I’m in a daze, like I’m someone else
A familiar place that I don’t recall
It’s an empty space and I watch me fallThe time is now but I don’t know when
I close my eyes and I start to spin
I start to spinThe more I look around
The more the walls come down
And something comes to light
Something comes to lightThe more I look around
The more the walls come down
And something comes to light
Something comes to lightIlluminating
And suddenly within my view
Images of something new
I’m reaching out but there’s no end
All explained in messages
Save Some Love.
It’s very rare that I will forget about a song that I played during my radio and club DJ days. I was watching some early 1990s music videos while working and this song came up on the playlist. The artist’s name seemed vaguely familiar, like a suggestion of another time. I decided to watch the video and as soon as I heard the musicality surrounding the lyrics of “walking in and out, and in and out”, I immediately remembered the track. Memories of saying “Rock 107, Central New York’s Only Hit Music Station” several times an hour, and around announcing this track, flooded back into my memory. I also remembered the syncopated intro being very hard to beat mix into another record when I was spinning vinyl in the clubs. I used to try to follow Liza Minnelli’s version of “Love Pains” with this track.
From 1991, here’s Keedy with “Save Some Love”.
Happiness.
One more look at our 2016 Christmas Tree.
Earl, Jamie and I took down all the Christmas directions around the house and packed them up neatly for next year’s festivities. I have a little more to do once things thaw a bit, some of our outside ornaments are frozen to the ground or completely buried with snow in the yard. I felt a bit melancholy taking the decorations down this year. This is the first time in about five years that I was sad to see the holiday season come to an end.
We did the holidays our way this year, spent time with family and friends and just enjoyed our little chosen family here in the snowy parts of Upstate New York. I am without complaint. That is rare.
It’s a nice feeling.
Word.
This man weighs in on “I could care less” and I love him for it.
H/T Séan Actual for making me aware of this video.
Privacy.
An article from Engadget recently detailed Facebook’s practice of obtaining off-line data about its users from third-party sources. The picture above is from the Engadget article.
From the article:
Currently, Facebook works with six data partners in the US: Acxiom, Epsilon, Experian, Oracle Data Cloud, TransUnion and WPP. For the most part, these providers deal in financial info; ProPublica notes that the categories coming from these sources include things like “total liquid investible assets $1-$24,999,” “People in households that have an estimated household income of between $100K and $125K and “Individuals that are frequent transactor at lower cost department or dollar stores.” Specifically, the report notes that this data is focused on Facebook users’ offline behavior, not just what they do online.
I have a constant on-again, off-again relationship with Facebook. Though I have been trying really hard to dump the service, I have been using it during the holidays because many friends and family members use the service as their only means of communication. This is where they share their pictures, this is how they communicate (with Messenger), this is where they share their interesting news. If I want to know what’s going on with them I need to log in and take a look. Plus, several of the aviation forums I follow are through Facebook. Annoying, I know.
I’ve blogged numerous times about the privacy concerns when using Facebook. I was recently doing some research at work on a new software package and imagine my surprise when I logged into my personal laptop, fired up Facebook and saw that hideous interface populated with ads for the software package I had been researching at work. I know how it happened: I logged into Facebook on my work computer for some reason and then all of a sudden there’s a myriad of cookies in my browser reporting back to Facebook on every move I make on the Internet, providing Facebook with all sorts of data.
Well now Facebook is going outside online methods and gathering data from third party sources that aren’t even online. If you read the list quoted above, you’ll see that Experian is listed, which I believe is one of the credit rating services.
Zuck and friends want to lean in on your financial data.
Every time I log into Facebook to see how my high school friends are doing or to follow along with some flights with some online pilot friends I’ve met over the years I know that I’m giving Facebook data on my recent Amazon purchases, hints and raves about my latest online tirade placed through a commenting section of an article, etc. But frankly, it’s really none of Facebook’s business as to how much money I make or how much our mortgage is worth.
The thing is that I can scream about this until I’m blue in the face. I can share the frustrations of using that very invasive Facebook Messenger program (particularly frustrating for iOS users that should be using the much more secure iMessage app). I can tell people that Facebook is basically data raping them and they couldn’t1 care less. Facebook is easy and free and easy and free is the American way. “They have nothing to hide.”
I have nothing to hide, either, but I still value my privacy. Let’s see what I do with Facebook in 2017. Perhaps I’ll put my money where my mouth is.
1 Just a pet peeve of mine, but it is “couldn’t care less”, not “could care less”. Because, if you could care less, then you should care less if you’re really that disinterested.
Repost: Resolution Revolution.
The following is a blog entry written 15 years ago, 12/29/01. I find it amusing to go back and read my old blog entries from time to time. I guess I haven’t changed much.
With New Year’s just around the corner, it’s time to completely revamp one’s life with what I call the Resolution Revolution. I tend to take New Year’s Resolutions very seriously. With the dropping of the ball and the birth of a new year, its the best time to take a new lease on life, slip into the body that I’ve always dreamed about, clear my skin, become more spiritually focused, get involved in civic affairs, become a cook, a gardener, a sky-diver, a nuclear physist, the list goes on and on.
But seriously, I do have hopes of improving my life and well-being around the New Year’s holiday. The holiday holds so much promise.
Last year, one of my major New Year’s resolutions was to become a full-time vegetarian. I had been dinking around with being a part-time vegetarian for a couple of months beforehand, mostly when it was convenient, but I told myself I needed to become dedicated to the cause. If it had the ability to take a dump, I wasn’t going to eat it. That lasted until we went out west for vacation and I discovered “Sonic” and “In and Out” burger. So much for that.
Another resolution I made last year was to not spend unnecessary money. In celebration of this event, I went crazy on ebay and purchased a cash register system from a defunct department store. I guess I needed a place to store all the money I was saving.
One of my better resolutions of last year was to learn to speak French. I did the whole CD tutorial thing, along with “French for Dummies”. Earl and I headed up to Montréal for a weekend, the perfect opportunity to test out my French. Trying to be friendly, I tried to strike up a conversation with a nice older woman in the mall. Since it was July, I simply said “Boy, it’s hot”. After she slugged me with her purse I realized that I had said, “I’m in heat.” So much for French.
The first resolution of this year is the only one I am going to share. I’m not sharing my resolutions with anyone. After years of making promises to myself, and announcing them loudly to everyone within a 50 mile radius of my mouth, people tend to not take me seriously anymore. But after my Resolution Revolution of 2002, suffice it to say that I’m going to be rich, famous, a contributing member of society and absolutely gorgeous to look at. At least until January 15.
Image.
Somewhere in the “Operating Instructions for the American Gay Adult”, there’s probably a section on age 48 and how you should be comfortable with yourself way before then and therefore be doing something worthwhile like leading UNICEF drives or bringing bags of Mighty Taco to starving children in Zuzumbia as Madonna shops for her children. These are all very worthy causes and during this past year I have remarked to Earl on several occasions that I need to contribute more to the world. I’ve also suggested several times that we go to Mighty Taco but we’d most likely eat it before delivering it.
Here’s the thing, the problem is that I just sort of skimmed “Operating Instructions for the American Gay Adult” and I’m still working on that self-image and self-confidence part. I’ve put myself through several batteries of tests. I know that I’m an INFJ. I know that on a scale of 1 to 50 I’m a solid 39 (I’ll let the reader figure out what that scale is for). I’ve checked my IQ on both long and short tests, from Facebook quizzes to Mensa exams to sitting down and actually taking a real test in a real IQ testing setting and it’s a surprisingly good number. People tell me I’m a warm, sensitive guy that just lacks a dollop of confidence. The truth of the matter is that I’m the nachos without a dollop of Daisy on top. I have some zest, I have some spice, I’m crunchy and inviting but my lettuce is a little wilted.
The thing is that I have a really good memory. I might ask Earl the same question three times in the span of five minutes but by god I can tell you that sales tax was department 94 at Westons Department Store back in 1975. I have a very-accurate catalog of every insult, off-handed remark and snide comment that has been hurled in my direction over the last 48 years and every once in a while my internal Viewmaster likes to click through those little nuggets and relive things that have made me feel bad. I have no idea why I do this, I’d rather watch my old “Electrawoman and DynaGirl” Viewmaster slides but they’re long gone. I don’t remember where they are.
“I can’t be seen at the mall with you because you’re too flamey”. A chestnut from my first boyfriend in 1987.
“You could be cute if you tried”. A little nugget of wisdom from the end of my first gay date ever when I was in college in 1986. I never accurately concluded if I was a charity case or not.
“I don’t want to play with him because he’s just too weird”. Whining in 1979 from a sixth grade classmate who had some nifty electronic game that everyone else got to play but I couldn’t because in all actuality I was wicked good at it and she didn’t like being pushed from her perch from the weird boy.
Add these little excerpts of gray matter belches to the fact that my 48 year old body is starting to need some new parts, has a couple of decades of extra pounds and the intermittent but persistent stream of Internet comments such as, “You had such a great beard, why don’t you grow some facial hair again?”, and my warm, sensitive self with a wicked good memory starts to question its image in the world.
The fact of the matter is that it’s all hooey. All of it. The comments, the creaks and groans from my body, the replacement parts, all of it is just a bunch of hooey with big spitting motions. I’m better than this. I’m better than that. My rational mind knows this. And it’s time to start listening to the rational mind.
In 2017 I have just one resolution. One goal. And that is, to feel like *I* am worthy of a slow-motion entrance.
I want to make an entrance, comfortable in my clothes, determined in my walk, confident in myself. I want to drop the shlep. Yes, I need to get some parts fixed up on this old bod. I will shed some pounds (again!). And, as my loving family reminds me, I will just embrace who I am and just go with it. Yep, I’m eccentric. I can easily turn that weirdness I’m known for into a big bucket of zany (I originally typed “weirdness into zaniness” but I don’t know if ‘zaniness’ is a word. It looks like a New Age name to me.) I have lots of digits and letters that work in my favor and it’s time to start using them as powers for good.
I’m not going to be fine. I’m going to be awesome. Friggin’ awesome.
Sharing the details of this goal would be over demonstrative and there’s already too much over demonstrativeness in the world. I’m worthy of attention but not of pity. I have lists with dates but I’ll keep them to myself. This is a personal journey for 2017.
I will, however, share the video of my Slow Motion Entrance when I feel I’m ready for it. Getting ready for my Close-Up.
Wicked.
I was volleying instant messages back and forth with a colleague at work today when she asked if I worked in New England. I replied to the negative and told her that I was sitting in Central New York, more specifically to the east of Syracuse. She then commented on something on I had said earlier in the conversation which made her think I was a New Englander. I had written, “oh, he’s wicked smart about those things.”
Yes, I use “wicked” as an intensifier. “He was wicked mad about being short changed.” “The bar was wicked busy tonight.” “Wow, that meal was wicked good.”
I’ve said wicked for as long as I can remember. At first I was thinking that I picked the habit up when I lived in eastern Mass in the late 1980s (I can say ‘Worcester’ like a native without even thinking about it) but then I remembered having a conversation with my sister and her friend Tammy when they were in junior high school about the use of the word wicked. Apparently Tammy had used the word wicked in an essay or something and her English teacher didn’t like the use of the word in her prose.
What a wicked mean thing to do.
Since I can remember the conversation about use of the word wicked from my high school years, it must have been part of my vocabulary for longer than I originally thought. Now, as I try to fall asleep (I’m actually wicked tired tonight), I’m trying to recall if my cousins used the word in the same way. I’m pretty sure that my city cousins didn’t, but I’m not sure about the country cousins. I remember high school friends at our lunch table using the word wicked a lot, perhaps it migrated from New England to our area in the 1980s or something.
Whatever the reason, the word has remained in my vocabulary for the last 30 years or so. Its use has been a wicked good time.
20.
Yesterday Earl and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. This is the anniversary of our original commitment ceremony, held on 12/26/96, at Penn’s Landing in Philadelphia. We exchanged our wedding rings and shared our commitment vows with one another with Earl’s youngest brother Rick and his girlfriend, later wife, Helen at our side. One of the cool things about being in a same sex marriage these days is that many of old school couples have multiple anniversaries to celebrate: original commitment and then the legal wedding. We throw in a couple of other anniversaries (first date, when I proposed, etc.) just to keep the merriment alive all year long, but December 26 is the biggie for us.
Isn’t that the idea of a solid marriage, keeping the merriment alive all year long? As a gay couple we are already outside of convention. With a chosen family, the three of us are outside of convention. But honestly, the only norm that I’m looking to adhere to is the norms Earl and I have defined for our marriage. We have a custom-made marriage and that’s why we’re able to celebrate our 20 year anniversary together.
I look forward to continuing the celebration for another 20 years. He’s my best friend and we were meant to find each other.
It’s a great gig when you find it.
