Ponderings and Musings

From “Madam Secretary”, Season 5 Episode 1.

“…Your courage and determination have made humankind safer from the second-greatest threat it faces. What is an even greater threat than nuclear weapons? That which makes the use of them possible: hate. Specifically, the blind hatred one group or nation can have for another. That is why I am convinced that nationalism is the existential threat of our time.

“Now I want to be clear. Nationalism is not the same as patriotism. It’s a perversion of patriotism. Nationalism… promotes the idea that inclusion and diversity represent weakness, that the only way to succeed is to give blind allegiance to the supremacy of one race over all others. Nothing could be less American. Patriotism, on the other hand, is about building each other up and embracing our diversity as the source of our nation’s strength. “We the people” means all the people. America’s heroes didn’t die for race or region. They died for the ideals enshrined in our Constitution. Above all, freedom from tyranny, which requires our unwavering support of a free press; freedom of religion, all religions; the right to vote, and making sure nothing infringes on any of those rights, which belong to us all. Look where isolationism has gotten us in the past. Two world wars. Seventy million dead. Never again can we go back to those dark times when fear and hatred, like a contagion, infected the world. That, as much as ending the threat of nuclear war, is what today is about.

“And it is why we must never lose sight of our common humanity, our common values and our common decency. I was reminded recently of our nation’s founding motto, E pluribus unum. Out of many, one. Thirteen disparate colonies became one country. One people. And today, we call on all Americans and people everywhere to reject the scourge of nationalism. Because governments can’t legislate tolerance or eradicate hate. That’s why each one of us has to find the beauty in our differences instead of the fear. Listen instead of reacting. Reach out instead of recoiling. It’s up to us. All of us. Thank you.”

Earl and I are celebrating the 7th anniversary of our legal marriage. Of course, we’ve been together over 22 years, but the government didn’t recognize our marriage until 2011. In fact, 22 years ago today I got down on one knee on top of a mountain in the Adirondacks and proposed to Earl. He said yes. Our first wedding was in December 1996. The government didn’t come on board until seven years ago today. We were legally married at a casino. We figured getting married is a gamble.

I’ve heard of heterosexual couples going to church to learn how to be married. It’s my understanding that when a couple wants to get married in a particular church, they might have to go to that church to learn how to live in wedded bliss. I don’t know what goes on in these classes, as I’ve never really felt the need to watch instructional videos on how these things work, but the concept of needing to learn how to be married strikes me as kind of odd.

One of the beautiful things that I’ve experienced for the past 22 years is that Earl and I just naturally knew how to be a couple. Our union is unique. We do marriage our way. I don’t know that we would know this much happiness if we were instructed on how to be a couple or striving to follow some sort of cookbook that someone else wrote. Who really decides what a happy marriage looks like? It’s no one’s business other than our own as to how our marriage works, just like it’s none of my business as to how my parents’ or my grandparents’ marriages worked.

Earl and I have a couple of ground rules. We are always honest with one another, our commitment is fully invested until death do us part, and outside of death, exiting the relationship is not an option. And even at death, I’m sure the dead one will haunt the live one. It’s just the way we roll.

I’ve seen so many marriages end because of jealousy. Jealousy of looking at other people, or one more successful in their career, or another jealous of hobbies and passions that may not be shared. No one can make you jealous. Jealousy is an emotion that comes from within and 99% of the time it is fueled by insecurity. Know who you are, know why you’re in love, and be honest; that’s our secret. I’d never presume to tell you how to conduct your marriage, because as I mentioned before, it’s none of my business, but if people set aside their jealousy, I’m sure there’d be more successful marriages in the world.

Remember when milk came in a carton? It really makes sense, doesn’t it. A carton is completely biodegradable, it’s easier to ship square containers, and there’s a cleaner manufacturing process for a box.

I’m happy to see boxed water all over the city of Chicago. I hope it’s catching on in the rest of the world. We don’t need smart water, we need this water.

Everyone has their own journey. One of the cool things about being human is we are each unique. No one else in the entire universe will experience a moment the same way you do. We may see the same things, but we don’t feel the same things. Only you truly know your own feelings.

I was watching TED Talks while working today. Most of my TED Talk viewing selection is based around the responsible use of technology, especially when it comes to Internet Privacy. I enjoy educating myself on how much we compromise our privacy when we opt to go for the latest and greatest gadget experience. Education makes us better. I had finished a video when another was suggested. The cover snap included a tall, smiling woman who had a positive energy emanating from the screen. The title was intriguing, “I’ve lived as a man and a woman — here’s what I’ve learned”. The speaker was Paula Stone Williams. I’ve included a locally hosted link to the video at the top of this blog post.

As the title suggests, Paula speaks to her experiences as a trans woman from the perspective of not transitioning until later in life. She has plenty of first-hand knowledge to compare how society behaves towards men and women, specifically white men and white women. Her candor, storytelling style, and honesty made this a fascinating video for me to enjoy.

I consider myself fortunate that my soul feels mostly comfortable in this vehicle I’m using for this round of incarnation. Not everyone has that experience, and it’s important for us to educate ourselves about the journey of others, at least as far as it can be shared through storytelling. Learning about others gives us insight and perspective.

In a time when many are content to live within borders and their own little silo, perhaps it’d be better if we stepped outside and learned a bit about those around us.

I love the new “Behind The Mac” ad campaign popping up all over the place. My Twitter ads are filled with stories, the ‘L’ stations feature ads. They look classy to me. As an Apple Enthusiast I find them quite enjoyable.

Using Apple products sparks creativity in me. Other experiences make me think too much of corporate work.

I’m a free spirit. I need to recognize that more often.

Some days you just need to relax and idle the brain. Apparently I’ve gone off the gay end. I’m having a glass of red wine and binging “Hot In Cleveland”.

That’s just one step away from a Bea Arthur marathon.

Flipping through YouTube while writing code today, a scene from “A Very Brady Sequel” came up as a suggestion. I took a peek and faster than Roy Martin could eat Alice’s spaghetti I realized the Brady’s have the very same clock Grandma City had for very many years.

And then there was happiness.