J.P.

Like I promised myself over the weekend, I rode my bike to work this morning. I must admit that I was proud of myself for going through with my promise to myself, because I often make resolutions, promises and threats and never follow through on them. “I’m going to lose 10 pounds before vacation.” “I’m going to make sure the washer and dryer are empty before going to bed.” “If I eat this cream cheese covered strawberry I will turn into a toad.” Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

But when I awoke this morning, feeling completely refreshed after 10.5 hours of sleep, I was delighted to find the birds singing and the sun shining. So I got my gear together, ate an English muffin covered in organic peanut butter (which is quite bland, by the way) and then headed off to work.

I had forgotten what riding in rush hour traffic is like. First of all, road construction activity is at an all time high here in Central New York, so half the ride is on a rush board. But the vibration is perfect for soothing my aching bum, I suppose. Then there’s the Utica rules of the road – when the light turns green, wait for five seconds or five cars, which ever comes through the light first. And avoid all SUVs at all costs – they don’t know what they’re doing.

But the ride in kept my energized throughout the day – giving me a lively step in my gait and a song in my heart. It’s a shame that I need to travel for work tomorrow. I look forward to doing the ride again on Wednesday.

It’s nice to be on the road again.

With it being Father’s Day and all, we had a family gathering here at the house today. The weather was a little cool, but absolutely gorgeous. I had initially pledged to Earl that I was going to prepare the feast, what with my desire to be a good cook and all. But naturally he took over and I ended up playing assistant. I guess I didn’t really mind. He went all out – BBQ’d ribs and chicken, grilled pineapple, salt potatoes and Karen brought along some delicious macaroni salad. And for dessert, Earl made this delicious fruit dip (cream cheese and fluff) for strawberries and melon. I’m going to start a blog for him so he can share photos of his creations, along with recipes to share. In the computer world, I suppose Earl would be considered an open source cook.

It was great getting together with my sister Jennifer and my dad and his girlfriend. Just sitting down and chatting about old and new times is so relaxing. Karen brings me up to date on the renovation project going on at the school she works at, Dad chimes in with his commentary and occasional nostalgic anecdote and then we catch up on the going-ons with the rest of the family. One thing I realized is that it’s going to be a busy summer with weddings and family visits and whatnot.

It’s wonderful being in a family where everyone gets along. Or perhaps its that we’re really good at pretending that we get along. Either way, it is nice to get together.

Last night Earl and I ventured out arouind midnight and went to the local club – where I DJ’ed for a number of years. We hadn’t been out around here in about 18 months. It was the first time that we’d been in a bar since the new NYS smoking law had been in effect. While it was much more comfortable being in a smoke-free environment, I couldn’t help but notice that business was significantly slower than when I was DJ’ing there. Kicking my ego aside, I believe it was due to the smoking ban instead of the change in DJ.

Even though it was Saturday, I had to go into work for an hour or two today. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Anyways, yesterday I became determined that I would start riding my bike into work again. I’ve sort of been off track on my cycling this year, having only gone on a handful of rides. The spring weather has not been cooperative in the cycling department, however, the last couple of weeks have provided ample opportunity with temperatures in the mid to upper 70s. I’ve just been lazy.

Mr. Weatherman predicted that today would be more of the same, mostly sunny with a high around 80. Perfect! Mother Nature is cooperating with my plan for a change. When I woke up this morning, I found that it was mostly cloudy and there was a good bunch of wind coming out of the west. The clouds were building and one just knew that there would be rain within the next six hours.

Now normally I would have taken this opportunity to completely wimp out and come up with a million excuses. “I can’t find my rain gear.” “My chain will get rusty.” “The bike will be a mess.” “I’ll melt in the rain.” I think I’ve only ridden in the rain once. But this morning I decided that I just didn’t care. I was going to ride my bike regardless of the weather, and if a tornado funnel came along, I’d welcome the extra ‘lift’.

The ride to work went along beautifully. With that stiff wind at my back, I made it the office in record time. I did my thing at work, which took only a half of an hour or so, and then noticed that it had started sprinkling a bit. I futzed around a little more, hoping the little shower would pass, but after another 15 minutes or so, it just wasn’t going to let up.

So I hit the road home.

Within two blocks, I was pretty wet. But I have to admit that I absolutely loved every inch of that ride home. I got muddy. I got wet. My chain squeaked. My gears meshed oddly. My legs squeaked. But I survived it. The bike survived it. It started raining steadily about a third of the way home, but let up just before I hit the driveway. I didn’t care. I didn’t melt. Doom and gloom didn’t descend upon me. It was wonderful.

Bring on the tornado!

Growing up, I always wondered what it would be like to live a “life of splendor”. To be like the “rich kids” and live in town, rather than out in the middle of farmland. I grew up in a lower to middle class family. My Dad was the bread winner, working hard at the family owned hardware store. Mom stayed home with us kids… she didn’t work until I was a freshman in high school, and then it was only part time in our school district. We didn’t have a lot, but we pretty much had everything we needed. We didn’t live in the laps of luxury, by any means, but there we had some special things. Dad owned a two-seat airplane that we would go flying in on the weekends. We’d fly to neighboring airports for a fly-in (usually fundraising) breakfast, shoot the breeze with the other pilots and their sons, and then fly back home. That was pretty cool.

The four of us would go for Sunday drives around the area, just enjoying the scenery and the conversation. We didn’t need an SUV. We didn’t need a DVD player to entertain us. There was no portable Nintendo or Game Boy. Dad would drive us around in the 1978 Impala and he tried to “lose” me by navigating through the more rural areas, making lots of lefts and rights and then he’d ask me to navigate us back home. I don’t think there was a time I couldn’t get us back home.

When I was in the fourth grade, we moved to a new house that had been built by my father. The house was situated on 10 acres of land, and my parents, not knowing what to do with the imaginative mess they had of a son, pretty much let me loose in the woods behind the house. I imagined those woods to be everything and anything – a city that made New York look like a two stoplight town (complete with street signs). An enchanted forest in a faraway land full of magical beings. Somehow I always imagined myself as a nose twitching warlock. Or Wonder Woman’s long lost brother fighting a group of bad guys that landed their flying saucer on the railroad tracks that ran through our property. What was a really a tree could be a skyscraper that became a school bus that turned into a pier that I jumped off of with my bionic legs. Gosh, I was weird.

Looking back on it today, I guess it wasn’t so bad. We didn’t have a lot, but we loved what we had. Anyways, those rich kids in town ended up maladjusted and their parents were just nasty.

So when I’m looking at that newest item up for bid on ebay or when I’m eyeballing a G5 PowerBook, maybe I should just slow down and appreciate and enjoy what Earl and I have. I guess life isn’t about what you could have, it’s about what you do have.

I made a family decision tonight, without discussing it with the rest of the family. Honestly, I don’t think Tom could give two hoots about my decisions as long as he has kitty kibble in his bowl twice a day, but Earl might care when I’m spending family funds. Let’s see how he reacts when he gets home from Tennessee!

I look at it this way. We have a beautiful entertainment system that we purchased new when we bought the house. It includes a plasma high-definition television. Unfortunately, we weren’t subscribing to any high-def cable channels. Instead we were shlepping it with boring reruns (I like to call them shitcoms) on the networks. So I went ahead and upgraded from the “digital basic” cable plan to the “ultimate pak”, which basically activated every channel known to man. After two calls to Adelphia (they of course deactivated my account on the first attempt, so I had to call again and get it fixed), we were fired up and ready to go.

So the first channel I switched to had a rerun of Jerry Springer on it. O.k. I know that Jerry Springer strives to be shocking, but is he really aiming for revolting? I’m innocently turning the channels and there was a woman running across the stage, naked, except that she had slabs of beef duct taped to her body. And to make the scene more pretty, she was built like a slab of beef.

Now I believe that the human body is a wonderful vehicle for the beautiful soul in each of us. But to run across a stage on television with slabs of beef taped to your “vehicle” is just plain nuts. Apparently, Miss Meat liked having sex with her table scraps, in case you’re wondering.

Then I flipped around again, finishing up a rerun of “Sabrina: The Teenage Witch” (like the show, but it’s no “Bewitched) and then ended up settling on Queer Eye For The Straight Guy – in high-def. I thought I would never admit this, but I am starting to really get into Queer Eye. I’m starting to feel the Queer Eye vibe. I wish I was straight so I could sign up and get made over. I guess I’ll have to watch the tips from the sidelines. And I know everyone drools over Kyan (the grooming guy), but I have to admit I find Ted a cute nerd, and I thought I’d never admit this but Carson has his own certain charm that anyone could love.

So when Earl gets home and decides to flip around the channels, he’s going to get a little shock when every single channel comes in instead of saying “Access Denied”.

I hope he doesn’t mind the woman with the beef kick.

Today marked the first day back to work after our wonderful vacation in the Midwest. In typical jpnearl&copy fashion, Earl headed off to far off lands (North Carolina and Tennessee) for work, while I returned to my position as Chief Shrill at the radio station and advertising agency.

Actually, I don’t do my place in the office hierarchy justice by calling it Chief Shrill. I’m the “Director of Operations”. Whatever the hell that means. I’ve heard that I’m second in command. But in reality, I guess I just do everything that other people won’t do.

To celebrate my first day after vacation, I did try something new at work today. I got drunk at lunch. I’ve never been drunk at work before and I must admit that it did make the afternoon hum right by.

Outback Steakhouse is opening in our area tonight. To get us to push the opening on the radio (and other media outlets), Outback had a “media luncheon” where they gave us lots of food and alcohol. I went along with the sales manager and an account executive. I was the “programming representative” of the company. I just went along for the free food. Two glasses of wine and a vodka slushee later, I was back at the office buzzing through my desk throwing away unread mail that had accumulated during my vacation. So what if it was a press release from the governor. It happened last week, it’s yesterday’s news. Get a budget together, Mr. Governor, then we’ll talk.

I rarely drink. I’ve mentioned that after one glass of wine at Olive Garden, I’m dancing with the waitress, flirting with the bartender, calling Earl “Mr. Manwich” (because he’s more than a meal) and complimenting the Italian woman in the next booth on her pretty mustache. So I was just plain giddy after TWO glasses of wine and a vodka slushee. It was a wonderful way to ease into the routine.

I suppose I’ll have to be more serious about it all tomorrow.

Nah.

We are on our way home. We are getting on the Indiana Toll Road as I type on my cell phone. It’s been a gln a gl

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Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

As Earl and I have toured around the midwest, I can’t help but notice that I am better suited for the Central Time Zone. I know that’s somewhat of a crazy statement, as time is just a perception, but I seem to function must better under CDT.

The network television shows start at 7:00 instead of 8:00. That’s cool. Now I know that I don’t have any interest in the crap that’s on earlier in the evening, so I have plenty of time to find something else to do.

Leno and Letterman are on at 10:35. I haven’t watched Leno or Letterman in YEARS. They’re on way too friggin’ late in the Eastern Time Zone. You know, they might be onto something with that interviewing schtick they’ve got going on.

Breakfast just tastes better at 8:00 Central Time. Don’t ask me why, it just does.

We’ve stopped for the night in South Bend, Indiana. Just a few miles to the north time is an hour ahead of us in Michigan. And tomorrow, we’ll be crossing back into Eastern Daylight Time at the Ohio border. Am I sad because our vacation is coming to an end tomorrow? Not really, as I feel totally refreshed from the trip and feel like I can take on the world again. I’m sad because we’re going to be back in the Eastern Time Zone. The pace will be faster, I won’t see Letterman or Leno and I’ll settle for the crap on television because it’ll be too late to find something else to do.

After lots and lots of driving, we have arrived at this evening’s destination, downtown Des Moines, Iowa. It seems that there’s a pork convention in town this weekend (which brings strange images to the imaginative mind), so it took a bit of begging to get a hotel room. At the second hotel we stopped at (which was just full of pork apparently), the desk clerk pretended to be Mrs. Cochran and called eight hotels demanding a room for us; so we finally settled in at the Savery Hotel. It’s a tiny room, but it’s adequate for the night.

We haven’t seen any serious storms today, but they’re promising some fun for tomorrow. Earl has agreed to “hover” in Central Iowa and western Illinois to watch for the storms they’re predicting for tomorrow. We’ll probably only get as far as Joliet, but we’ll still be home by Saturday night.

Today we hit quite a few states – Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska and then back into Iowa. We didn’t really need to go into Nebraska, but because we were skirting the border along Interstate 29, we took the extra 20 minutes and drove through Omaha. Yay! Another state for the map. I’ve added my last new state (Nebraska) for this trip, and Earl did the same with Iowa.

Kansas City was a bit hectic… I wish my cousin Becky still lived there so we could have visited with her. We haven’t seen her in a long time.

Now we’re going to settle in for the night… room service just arrived. Time to get the tummy full!

Looks like it’s going to fun ride home tonight and tomorrow!

From the National Weather Center…

THERE IS A RISK OF SIGNIFICANT SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS FRIDAY. THE MAIN

THREAT FROM THE STORMS WILL BE TORNADOES…TWO INCH HAIL…AND

STRAIGHT LINE WIND GUSTS AROUND 80 MPH. AT THIS TIME THERE REMAINS

SOME UNCERTAINTY IN THE TIMING AND PLACEMENT OF THE GREATEST RISK

AREA. INDICATIONS ARE THAT THE MAIN THREAT FOR SEVERE STORMS WILL BE

ALL AREAS NORTH OF HIGHWAY 34 LOCATED IN SOUTHERN IOWA. THERE IS A

LOW RISK OF SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS BEFORE NOON OVER AREAS NORTH OF

INTERSTATE 80. THUNDERSTORM CHANCES WILL INCREASE DURING THE

AFTERNOON OVER ALL AREAS WITH THE HIGHEST RISK FOR SEVERE

THUNDERSTORMS…INCLUDING TORNADOES…FROM 3 PM TO 10 PM. EMERGENCY

MANAGEMENT PERSONNEL ARE ADVISED TO MONITOR LATER FORECASTS FOR

UPDATES ON THIS POTENTIAL SEVERE WEATHER EPISODE. ADDITIONAL

SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS ARE POSSIBLE SATURDAY NIGHT AND EARLY SUNDAY

OVER SOUTHWEST IOWA…SOUTH OF A LINE FROM DENISON TO OTTUMWA. THE

MAIN THREAT FROM THESE STORMS WILL BE DAMAGING STRAIGHT LINE

WINDS.