J.P.

When I was a young man figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, I made the assumption that I would have to leave the small town I grew up in to truly be myself. This was back in the mid 1980s and I knew of a few men I suspected to be gay in the community: one was a florist, one ran a jewelry store. A couple of men bought a ladies dress shop together and there was talk about that. I didn’t want to do any of these things and I certainly didn’t want to be the topic of conversation so I figured I’d move a state or two away and figure things out as a music teacher.

And then I realized I couldn’t be myself and a music teacher in a public school at the same time, so that fell through quickly as well.

I’ve mentioned before that while I’ve always known I was different in many ways, being gay was a definite impediment to being my true self and it was going to present obstacles in the Reagan era United States. After my failed attempt at becoming a music teacher I ended up in Boston, where I discovered a more open gay life. I also discovered the gay community seemed to have certain expectations as to the proper way to be gay, at least in the circles I was embroiled in, and before I knew it was I had a colorful Swatch Watch on my wrist and the latest fashions from Jordan Marsh.

I still always felt like the rural Upstate New York boy in the big city.

Decades later I’ve gotten all that sorted out, I’m comfortable with who I am, I’m comfortable with the way I think, and I’m proud of the country fried side of me.

Since leaving Boston in the early ’90s I’ve lived in small cities, big cities, and now a medium sized city. I still love the small towns, though, and they feel very comfortable when I’m in a small village some place on the Great Plains or the like. I still smile when I think about getting some exercise by walking the streets of Gothenberg, Nebraska a few years ago. Everyone was so friendly as I walked by the shops in their small business district. I think about the woman who couldn’t find a table at the small restaurant in Garden City, Kansas, where I was seated alone, and she asked if she could sit at the other end of the table with me. She did and we had a nice conversation about why I was there (storm chasing), why she was there (she was a native), and I smiled when she said, “I haven’t seen you in these parts before but you seem pretty nice”.

Now that’s a compliment.

Settled well into my mid 50s, I have found a good balance in my life. My husband doesn’t flinch when I blast the Yacht Rock or Country Music stations on road trips. I look for places where the waitress says, “be sure to leave some room for some blueberry pie”. And more importantly, I enjoy exploring the nooks and crannies of small town America. And while I’m exploring, I’m being exactly who I am.

And that’s a great feeling.

I recently discovered this documentary, “America: Discovering The Vast Great Plains | TRACKS” on YouTube and thoroughly enjoyed it. It takes place in a few of the places I’ve been during storm chasing season. The photography and videography is stunning. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

It’s raining. We have watched two episodes of “Succession”. I’m looking at home office decorating ideas by looking at homes for sale in different parts of the country. And I’m drinking a glass of sparkling wine.

Life could be worse.

Social media is in such a state these days. Earlier this week, Bluesky announced they’re now letting folks sign up for their service without needing a referral code from an existing member. Apparently the sign up process includes having to give your mobile phone number so you can confirm your identity with an SMS message.

That should make privacy minded people a little nervous, but it’s become the norm with most everything online these days. Disheartening.

I have a couple of accounts on Bluesky that I don’t really use that much. One is for my tech and personal adventures, the other is for my storm chasing and aviation adventures. I use it as a stream of information more than anything, if I look at the platform at all. I don’t have it installed on any of my devices, opting to look through a web browser when I want to see what’s going on. I imagine I might use it a little more during storm chasing season later this spring. It’s good to know what’s going on with others when it comes to storm chasing.

Twitter continues to be a mess. I’ve maintained one account on the platform, again for aviation and storm chasing purposes. A vast majority of the people I followed in general life has fled from the platform. I keep my account purely for a data source and don’t really interact that much with anyone or even look at the platform with any sort of regularity. When I took a peek this morning the suggestions and recommendations went all political and angry and I figured Twitter continues to be the dumpster fire it has become notorious for being.

I really wish more storm chasers and aviators would move over to something like Mastodon, which isn’t controlled by corporate interests.  But when you’re “click-dependent”, whether for monetary purposes or for the dopamine hit, it’s unlikely you’ll immediately get that rush when you switch to Mastodon. And that’s a shame. 

I tuned into Mastodon this morning and saw a bunch of political posts, most of which were shrouded with a content warning as is the practice in most areas of the Fediverse. The never ending disappointment from the Supreme Court of the United States was populating my feed all over the place and it was making my blood pressure rise so I decided to step away from Mastodon for a few days.

The topic of “being a brand” versus “being me” online came up recently in a very interesting thread on Mastodon. I really enjoyed that discussion. I have always been a “what you see is what you get” kind of guy online, as I am in real life. Back in my early 20s, when I was working as a radio personality, I was told I should look a certain way and change my speech both in and out of the studio to meet a certain demographic expectation. I told the person making those recommendations that didn’t really fit my style and I was just going to be me to the best of my ability. My radio career is way back in the rearview mirror of my life but I still try to be honest and true to me when I share my nuggets of life here on this bloggy thingy.

The Mastodon discussion also revolved around people talking about their careers or other business interests first and foremost when it came to “sharing their brand”. I have a great job in tech, I lead an awesome team of developers, and like everywhere else in my life, I strive to be honest and true to who I am when interacting with my co-workers and the team that reports to me. I don’t know how to be any other way and there’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t get the idea of having to build a brand online or even building a brand in real life. If my husband and I are going to be multi-millionaires it’s because we got there being true to who we are, not because we followed a prescribed notion of who we were expected to be. 

As a complete pivot away from the subject, I’d also like to share that I’m typing this blog entry in an old favorite application called “Ommwriter” that seems to have been resurrected from the dead. I’m listening to music included with the app on my noise canceling headphones. It is suppose to encourage creativity, and it does.

It’s not a bad start to the week. Truman was curious about the tripod sitting on my back desk so I showed it to him.