April 11, 2011


I think I might have a reputation for going on a rant once in a while. I’m not sure that I enjoy this sort of reputation because I like to think that overall I’m a nice sort of guy, but once in a while something puts me in the mood to rant and rave. I’m sometimes told there are more important things to worry about and I should look at the big picture. As I have said before, I’m not even in the same art gallery looking at the same wall, let alone looking at the same picture as most, so I figure I can say what’s on my mind once in a while. I figure it’ll give folks a glimpse at my perspective.

My rants are usually associated with an OCD thing I might have going on. For example, the driver of the SUV on the other side of the parking lot has completely ignored the lines that denote a proper parking space. This makes me insane. Is this woman as haphazard in her approach to life? Does she feed her tiny kids milkshakes because after all, it’s milk? Would she like it if the woman at the beauty parlor drew her eyebrows on haphazardly, say vertically from the nose, instead of where they should be above the eye? Are her panties turned inside out? If she is this haphazard with her parking habits then she is surely just as messy with her everyday life. And if she doesn’t really care about the small details, why should we fund her basic needs with public assistance? If she doesn’t care, why should I care? I say park between the lines or being a victim of thinning the herd. We have more needy people that need the welfare cheese.

America’s fastest 3G network is sucking big time today. Is anyone as tired of the ads as I am? Is anyone a fan of the merging of giant corporations (I.e. AT&T and T-Mobile)? They push us to move our lives to the cloud and then they give us crappy service. Don’t promote it if you can’t furnish the goods. Empty promises. So many empty promises. Do we remember that the voices on our party lines (shared phone lines, not hubba hubba) sounded much clearer than what we accept as golden over our cell phones? We are settling for mediocrity. “The next version will be better with more features, but buy this version in the meantime.” I’m not buying anything. Earl just rolled his eyes.

There is a septic truck pulled up to Applebees making a really loud noise ( though it’s not a farting sound). This seems appropriate for lunch time. How about an appetizer to go with your honey wagon cocktail?

Why do young people start smoking these days? Have we raised such a stupid generation of people that they’ll go ahead and do something that they know will kill them prematurely? Perhaps it’s part of the master plan and we’ll be rid of them soon enough.

The weather guessers are predicting severe thunderstorms tonight. Because of this I plan on barbecuing under a clear sky with a mild breeze. Listen to the forecast and expect the opposite because no one really knows which side of the dice really means rain.

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