So there has been some really big news today. Yes, two Americans were released from North Korea and there story is quite important, yes yes yes, but the big news today is more in the history making, monumental category.

Paula Abdul twittered that she is not returning to American Idol for it’s 9th season and Fox confirmed the breakdown in contract negotiations.

Sacré bleu!

Naturally, the failed contract negotiations are all about the money, with Ryan Seacrest reportedly making $45 million over the next three years while Paula was asking for around $12 million per year. News flash for Fox: I find Paula Abdul infinitely more entertaining than Ryan Seacrest and quite frankly, I think a lot of people agree with me.

There is the misconception that American Idol is about the talent and the next big superstar. Please. For much of the show’s run the talk around the water bubbler has been about Ms. Abdul and her erratic ways. While Ryan is doing his best to look butch…

Ryan Seacrest
Please note stubble. This is always a sign of a butch man.

… Paula always beat him to the punch, by looking like a Klingon.


While I love me some Paula Abdul (I still play “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow” off my iPod), we have to admit that there is a sizable portion of the audience that doesn’t give two hoots about who sings the best and who is pitchy, what we want to see is some Paula meltdown with the hopes that Ryan will announce what number to dial on our AT&T phone to get some of what Paula is taking.


Randy “the Mad Dog Dawg Dawg baby Dawg Dawg” Jackson goes on and on and on and on and ON about how this is a talent show and how every year the talent is getting better and it’s all about the star quality yadda yadda yadda (when in fact the winner will be turned into a record company’s bitch for a year and be subjected to more auto-tune than should be legally allowed) but we know what it’s about. Yes, we agree with Simon most of the time and snicker at his staff written zingers. And we wonder where this Kara DioGuardi came from and really wish that she would take her poorly written songs home with her but in reality American Idol is the train wreck, the car accident, the scene that we can’t turn away from.


I mean the only way to distract yourself from what Ms. Abdul is up to is to play that fun game of “Remember Who They Used To Be Before They Went Plastic!”

An now-defunct blog, “Rotten Ryan”, once commented that Priscilla wouldn’t be identified as human in the middle of “It’s A Small World” at WDW. If I ever meet you Rotten Ryan, I will bow to you.

So while there will always be people that claim that American Idol is the showcase for what Old Glory has in the way of talent (hello? Carmen Rasmussen? Chicken Little Kevin Covais? Scott Savol?), many will claim that American Idol is just pure, trailer trash entertainment at it’s very best (and remember, I grew up in a trailer so I can say that), and much of that was because of Paula Abdul.


Paula, we will miss you and I’m sure Fox will see a good-sized decrease in ratings. Let’s hope you continue to dance like there’s no tomorrow.