Nail In The Coffin.

It has been announced that Isaiah Washington has been signed on to the cast of the remake of “Bionic Woman”. Did you just hear that slam noise preceded by some metal clanging? That’s the bionic fist of every gay man and lesbian that grew up with Jaime Sommers as their hero slamming the coffin shut on this weak reimagining of our beloved show.

It just keeps going further downhill.

First, David Eick grabs the name “Jaime Sommers” and the title “Bionic Woman” after dropping the “The” from the beginning of it and turns our beloved hero into a bartender drop-out who has some anger issues. Next, they include a deaf younger sister, played by a hearing capable actress that talks in embarassingly stereotypical “deaf speech” while she’s signing, which outrages the deaf community. They drop the deaf sister instead of recasting a deaf actress in the role and then decide to punch it up a notch by casting a man who is surrounded by controversy for anti-gay remarks and put him on a show with a historically MAJOR GAY FOLLOWING.

Are you fscking kidding me?

I was boycotting the show because of the desecration to Lindsay Wagner’s portrayal of Jaime Sommers and the lack of the ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch sounds. The reason for my initial boycott pales in comparison to the reason I’m boycotting now – Isaiah Washington’s presence makes it a definite no-go.

There’s only one Jaime Sommers. And she was a tennis pro turned school teacher in Ojai, California with a really cool side job, some wicked strong legs and arm and wicked cool hearing and she had a really fast dog named Max.

Anything else is just a travesty.

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