“April Showers Bring May Flowers.” That’s what we were taught early on in elementary school. I rarely paid attention to my kindergarten teacher, hence one of the many reasons she thought I was mentally retarded, but I do remember her croaking on and on about “In Like A Lion and Out Like A Lamb” and the April showers bit. I suspect these cutsey sayings are meant to divert one’s attention that the weather just basically sucks when it’s raining and we should be sing-songy about the whole ordeal.

With our vacation so close that I can taste it but really can’t touch it, I’m itchin’ to hit the road. But if the behavior I exhibited on my way home just now is any indication, this may be a bumpy ride.

I feel like ‘stupid’ has taken over, especially when it comes to manners and social graces. People talk on cell phones loudly and in the most ridiculous locations. Drivers ignore the basic rules of the road, creating a mini island of chaos in the middle of four lanes of pavement. Voters turn a blind eye to the issues gripping our nation and opt to vote against things like same-sex marriage because it smacks against their narrow minded beliefs of what love is.

Anyways, as I was driving home for lunch on the local expressway, I was passing a car in the right lane (which is correct) and came upon a woman going 50 MPH in the left hand lane. The speed limit is 65 MPH, by the way and surprisingly I was only going 65. So I sort of paced behind her a little bit, planning on passing her once she moved back into the right lane.

Silly me.

She did not move into the right lane. Instead she flapped her arms like some one-sided see-saw indicating that I should pass her on the right.

Uh, that’s illegal. And two wrongs do not make a right. So I continued to pace behind her. She flapped some more, undoubtedly making fart noises under her armpit all the while. I finally got sick of her flapping and just said “screw it” and passed her on the right. While doing so, I rolled my window down and extended my arm out so that she could clearly see that I was flipping her off with as much flip as I could muster.

Now, that’s not being very nice. I know that. And I shouldn’t spread more gloom, there’s enough to go around.

But she moved over to the right lane after I passed her. I guess she got the point.