If I Had A Million Dollars.

Last week a bunch of employees at a Nebraska meat packing plant (I’m sorry, but that sounds like such a depressing job) won the largest PowerBall jackpot ever, clocking in at around $315 million dollars. That’s a lot of dough.

New York doesn’t participate in PowerBall, but we do have the “Mega Millions” lottery here, which is basically the same thing, only different, kind of like Pepsi and Coca-Cola.

By the way, if I’m drinking soda, I prefer Pepsi.

Earl and I, being the gamblers that we tend to be, actively play Mega Millions when it gets up into the three digit million numbers. We figure that if the universe is going to have us win, we’re going to win big so we might as well save our bucks up and go for the gusto.

We go to extremes like that in almost all facets of our life together.

I also play in the shared tickets at work. I hate to see what happens to the company the day after we hit it big on a shared ticket, especially since our entire division is playing!

Anyways, like most folks I’ve often daydreamed about what we’d do with our winnings. Earl and I have signed a contract to the universe stating that 10 percent of the winning amount, before taxes, would go to a charity, most likely Rosie O’Donnell’s For All Kids Foundation. We’d also go out of our way to make sure all of our family members were well taken care of and able to live comfortably for the rest of their lives.

But what to do with the rest?

I’d like to take a portion of the remaining money and invest it in quality children’s programming. I’d like to resurrect non-violent Saturday morning shows. I’ve mentioned numerous times that I’m a huge fan of “Shazam!” and “The Secrets of Isis”. I’d like to see programming like that, perhaps with a bigger budget than they had the first time around, updated and brought back to the living rooms across the country. There would have to be some tweaking to hold today’s kid’s attention in this rapidly paced world, but I think with the right elements, it can be done.

On the flip side, we’d probably use a portion of our winnings to further gay and lesbian causes, especially for those rural gay teens that think they’re freaks and not worthy of a quality life, simply because they’re gay.

The world is a scary place these days. If I had a million dollars, I’d like to make it a little less scarier.

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